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首页The Mill on the FlossCHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 14

        aking

        o sleep, Stepoo omed amount of roense in too restless to sleep,    to midnig seeing ter - ars - living only in tant future. At last fatigue quered restlessness, and arpauling on t. Sest    of a midsummer daybreak er epar appeared, t greill t ed in St Oggs boat, and it came nearer and ill tman    looking at o stretc o    turned over    and to sink, till o a really angry. From t false ainst tstep on tarlit sky. t of utter be before    disentangled from t soon terrible trutself upon ep by    must blot ted - s sorroo to t    up rust and love. t ure    recoiled from - breac ties t o duty, and la t lead    led o t temptation. S it no t ed. t least t from all riving after t a - t rayed, beguiled, ensnared, could never deliberately sent to a c? O God - not a c of scious cruelty and o see before rust and ep for ever sink and ain impulse; fo t clue        ecstasy; s face to fao sad patient living strengt ts bro yesterday    endurance s cross .

        Daybreak came and tern lig life igents of possible rescue. Sepill fast asleep, and    of    found its    bitterness of parting - t t urged t in give to    surmounting everyt     rise to energy till it oo late. - too late! It oo late no to oo late for everyt to rus act of baseness - tasting of joys t were wrung from cruss.

        tarted up    a day of resistance    ears, as,    looking at tepoo, and, getting up from o sit beside inct of anxious love sao give    glance. an Maggies nature t o overe.     freedom yesterday: too mucive    to feel t if    o reproach him.

        But Maggie did not feel t rigoo scious of fatal ender es ing a    do of possible parting oget tains assura Mudport by five oclock, ea    ed to to dissipate - in    e resolve on ly to tigepinually, ty at tigue and disfort so landing and to tion and repose sing to assure ely by pre-supposing t everyt. For a long ed    ss rest, and t s mind about being on t    like being on t tle less pleasant t on t a suppressed resolve ray itself in tep Maggie irely lost    did not dare, to speak of ter it, and teps ake to inform , of    assent from    eacime    ronger dread of t sadness    .

        ` of Mudport,    last. `N to of your fatigue is over. On tness. In anotoget    to you after this.

        Maggie felt it ime to speak - it o assent by silence. S tone, as    inct decision.

        `e s be togeted.

        to Stephens face.

        `e s, .

        It    o say anotill t    doaken to ter of gazers and passengers aing ture of teamboat to St Oggs. Maggie ep some one oer as if o speak to    s to everyt trial.

        A puided to t inn and postingepook no notice of to so a room w down.

        ered, Maggie did not sit doepe determination in it,    t the bell, when she said, in a firm voice,

        `Im not going,    part here.

        `Maggie, urning round toure beginning, `Do you mean to kill me?    is t nohing is done.

        `No, it is not done, said Maggie - `too mucrace of. But I    try to prevail    cerday.

        , and make a new barrier. y.

        `Maggie,    last, pausing before one of impl cy -    I did yesterday. - I    your full sent. But dont bligy t    anso any o    only create ne do -    - t yoing to do. Dont treat me as if you couldnt trust me.

        effective appeal; but Maggies o suffer.

        `e must not , s distinct voice. `e must part at once.

        `e t part, Maggie, said Stepuously. `I t bear it.    is ting t misery oever it may ruo    you should drive me mad?

        `I    begin any future, even for you, said Maggie, tremulously, `e sent to o    I told you at Basset I feel noo temptation. It er if     part now.

        `e    part, Step out, instinctively plag    tting everyts before. `I    e. Youll make me desperate - I s know w I do.

        Maggie trembled. S t ting could not be effected suddenly. S rely on a sloo Stepter self - s be prepared for a ask t of rusion epc look of desperation    like t of a frig t opposition    ermination grer.

        `Remember     - t o ot quer every inatio. e o keep our resolutions - but the same.

        `No, it does not remai o keep our resolutio to be overe. t natural las every ot    it clash.

        `It is not so, Stepe sure t is o t again and again - but I see, if     for all treacy -    sacred ties t    ever be formed o is not to bind us, ion of t.

        `But ties t t be kept by mere resolution, said Steparting up and    again. ` is outancy    love?

        Maggie did not ansely. Sest. At last se assertion of ion as muc    him,

        `t seems rig first - but    rigancy mean somet is easiest and pleasao ourselves. tever is opposed to tever o t on us. If er, nobler - trongly present    t so tinually, just as ts e feeling    a pain to myself t emptation. O, hink of her...

        Maggies voice ting ctered t words.

        `I t tepamping as if    you. Maggie, you demand of a man    t once - but I t go back to it no to torture me? You t save tear yourself from me, and make my life o me. And even if s - if t     love. e ake.

        A deep flus speak. Step doakireaty.

        `Maggie! Dearest! If you love me, you are mine.    a claim on you as I    t    annul o eac is t time we    and soul.

        Maggie ill silent for a little er of neriump s     - not h yielding.

        `No - not    and soul, Stepimid resolution, `I ed to it ions, and longing after perfect goodness, t rong    me for long - to me - repentance. I couldnt live in peace if I put t I ely seo it - I ;t I may ; It o marry you - if you o    from tary triump o time before yesterday, I rue to my calmer affes and live    the joy of love.

        Stepiently, he room in suppressed rage.

        `Good God!    out, at last, `o a mans. I could it crimes for you - and you    baland c    you dont love me - if you it I    o you to t of sacrifig me. But it weig you are robbing me of my lifes happiness.

        Maggie pressed oget vulsively as s terror    flasning, and tretche darkness.

        `No - I dont sacrifice you - I couldnt sacrifice you, s I t believe in a good for you, t I feel - t o c tell    or rue to all tives t sanctify our lives. I kno belief is     I    t if I let it go for ever, I s this life.

        `But Maggie, said Steping    possible you do ion of t infatuation is it - inate prepossession t blinds you to t? It is too late to say ing t vie    a noion is altered - t course is no longer     accept our oions and start afreserday? It is nearly t on ot . It epterly, `t you mig your tie to me roo others.

        Again a deep flus. Step again t o prevail -    believed t    prevail: ties ely for us to fear them.

        `Dearest, , teone, leaning toing    - duty must spring out of t no t t - it is so long since--

        Maggies eyes opened errified look at t o arted up - pale again.

        `O I t do it s of agony - `Step ask me - dont urge me. - I t argue any longer - I dont kno my     let me do it. I see - I feel trouble no is as if it y me - and no ter your love to me - I do care for P o eae as to me t I mig less rusted me more t marry you - I ot take a good for myself t    of t is not t ougo rule us - t    my past life o me. I t set out on a fres t - I must go back to it, and g to it, - else I s.

        `Good God, Maggie! said Stepoo and grasping    marrying me? You dont kno. You see not really is.

        `Yes, I do. But to t. Dear - dear Step me go! - dont drag me into deeper remorse. My    does not sent now.

        Step go unned by despairing rage.    a fes, not looking at uro last ill    looking at her,

        `Go, t torture me any longer - I t bear it.

        Involuntarily so o touc    as if it had been burning iron, and said again,

        `Leave me.

        Maggie    scious of a decision as surned a gloomy averted face - and    of t omatic a t fulfils a fotten iion.    came after? A sense of stairs desded as if in a dream - of flagstones - of a ding - treet, and a turning into a aking in passengers - and ting t t t coacake oo the coach.

        rials - ouary ep, as suce all ots into activity. But among s,    y and remorseful anguis no room for t.

        taking o York - fart s learn t until s doy at midnig ter: sart    day. S,    - a bank-note and a sn: s it in    from fetfulness, after going out to make purcerday.

        Did s nig u sacrifice? - t struggles of life are not so easy as t - t problems of life are not so clear. - In t nigepuroen easy floating in a stream of joy instead of a quiet resolved endurand effort: - t o receive it once more and t seemed to slip away and fade and vanis said, `Gone - for ever gone.
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