Narcissuss long siege succeeded in bringing Goldmunds secret out into time ly labored in vain to aeac could be told.
Goldmunds description of ure. ted, and t a pallid name. Narcissus, t Goldmund of ances or some kind of magic poed a portion of t. notioning and teac imated the power of logid spoken many useless words.
But t bound o of spending mucime toget been fruitless. In spite of t differences of ters, eaco bei , t secret lanes. Gradually tive pos and expressions, making and—and sympations and feelings, need for o soul developed i is io ed—a versation t touew, far-reacs.
talking about astrology, a forbidden sce t pursued in ter. Narcissus astrology tempt te and order t types of o tures ainies. At t Goldmund ed: "Youre forever talking of differences—Ive finally reized a pet t differe is supposed to exist beta seems to me t t your straermination to establis;
Narcissus: "Yes. Youve ts it: to you, differences are quite unimportant; to me, t matters most. I am a scure; sce is my vocation. And sce is, to quote your termination to establiss essence couldnt be defined more accurately. For us, tant as tablis of differences; sce is t of differentiation. Disc in every man t winguiso know ;
Goldmund: "If you like. One man you. But coo, any sce."
Narcissus: "But ell one from t;
Goldmund: ";
Narcissus: "Per . Not t sce is more intelligent t it ie remembers more t t obvious ceristics."
Goldmund: "So does any intelligent co put it plainly: you learned men are arrogant, you alupid. One be extremely intelligent learning."
Narcissus: "I am glad t youre beginning to realize t. Youll soon realize, too, t I dont mean intelligence say, you are more intelligent, or less intelligent; better or ."
Goldmund: "ts easy enougo uand. But you dont speak only of our differen cer; you often speak also of te, iiny. ance, siny be different from mine? e are botians, o lead ter, ernal bliss. Our destiny is turn to God."
Narcissus: "Very good. true, in tly like anot not in life. take Our Saviours favorite disciple, Jo ed otrayed tiny."
Goldmund: "Narcissus, you are a sop. ell never e toget kind of road."
Narcissus: "No road oget;
Goldmund: "Dont speak like t."
Narcissus: "Im serious. e are not meant to e toget any more t to e toget is not our purpose to bee eac is tnize eaco learn to see t e and plement."
Goldmund erplexed. he bowed his head, and his face was sad.
Finally ;Is t take my ts seriously?"
Narcissus ated before ;Yes, t is used to t. Believe me, t an intonation in your voiot a gesture, not a smile t I dont take seriously. But your ts I take less seriously. I take seriously all t I find essential and necessary in you. particular attention paid to your ts, ;
Goldmund smiled bitterly: "Youve al;
Narcissus remained firm: "Part of your t I sider a c. Remember elligent c be less intelligent t o assert its opinion in matters of learning, t take it seriously."
Goldmund said ;You smile at me even ters of learning! For instance, you al as ty, my efforts to advance my studies, my desire to bee a monk ;
Narcissus looked at ;I take you seriously al a sc a monk—sc learned ical or pious enougrary, you are not enoug;
Perplexed and even , Goldmuion. A a feer o ime Narcissus o give Goldmund a picture of t natures t able.
Narcissus alked o a fever; t Goldmund ing o temptation to say more tended; himself be carried away by his own words.
"Look," ;I am superior to you only in one point: Im aimes. I call a man ao learn t about yourself is tential reason for your me. In your case, mind and nature, sciousness and dream . Youve fotten your c cries for you from t il you .
"But enoug! Being aro in is you are superior to me, my dear Goldmund—or rat;
Goldmund ened onis, but at t;youve fotten your otice; e s raigo find see Goldmunds face tch suddenly.
"I … superior to you!" stammered Goldmund, feeling as though his whole body had been lamed.
"; Narcissus tinued. "Natures of your kind, rong, delicate seed, ts, lovers are almost alo us creatures of take your being from your mty to feel. ures of reason, live fully; eo guide and rule you. Yours is tude of life, t, tiful landscape of art. Y in an airless void. You are an artist; I am a t t; I . For me tars. Your dreams are of girls; mine of boys …"
Goldmund listened, orical self-intoxication. Several ruund like so and asked ;Once I broke do of you and burst into tears—you remember. t must not ond let me be alone. Youve said terrible o me."
Narcissus ter ternation t some of ed o t o leave t moment and ated a sed oldmunds fro o allow ude he needed.
time treme tension in Goldmunds soul did not dissolve itself in tears. ill, feeling deeply, desperately o . ally tracted , a ful o be looked in t time tears to overe t t ful?
ed, pusing o free s of a sest, lo parts of ter, tair into te of ter, into t of tretc flo of roses drifted tony air in s ant threads.
it kno, Narcissus out into tou Goldmunds , er, looking for find him.
Goldmund anding under one of tone arc led from t into ttle cloister garden; on eae-carved o, toc , knotted omacal of one of to feel t trous ting, glaring, barking inside him.
"Im going to die any moment," error. "Ill lose my mind and ts ;
c t of too great; . ed; he drowned in longed-for oblivion.
It isfactory day for Abbot Dao ement, full of accusations, bringing up petty old jealousies, squabbling furiously. eo togetoo long, ility in , ood up again, unrefresepped out into t a moment for some air, attracted by t on tones. ened by teness of t been a good day, and noo top it all! ried to lift t up to t. ito call toldmund upstairs and to send Fato er p for Brother Narcissus, who soon appeared before him.
"; he asked.
"About Goldmund? Yes, ge aken ill or and ;
"Yes, I found , an act t ed. I dont like t o me t you are someed , or at least kno, since you are so intimate. t is w;
itrol of bearing and speec of ion s surprisingly violent effe s ill humor.
&que versations," o remain calm. " you described to me is a versation t migerference I migion. But youre not Goldmunds fessor. You are no ones fessor; you been ordained. t you discussed matters one of an adviser, t no o ;
"t; Narcissus said in a mild but firm voice, "are not yet knoo us, ge frigion, but I t tion ;
"e s speaking of tion. prompted you to ions ;
"As you knoand icularly I acted to t I kter t;
t shrugged.
"I kno is your métier. Let us you did not cause any . But is Goldmund ill? I mean, is anyt badly? ;
"No, until today is."
"And ot;
" an age ;
"I kno;
"een."
"Eig is late enoug truggles are natural; everybody goes t is no reason to say t ;
"No, ge is not t Goldmunds soul ime; t is en a part of ."
"A part is t?"
"ed kno t lie tly, except t an early age. I it must be from ed most of s, because ion of make alented, inal son. Notold me; I deduced it from signs."
At first t ly at t-sounding speecter roublesome co o t brittle, distrustful man; no time, uttered about Goldmunds mot s s ried to suppress t ed from probably succeeded, because to od, in ato for hers sins.
Never less today. A—o know Goldmund.
ion about t;I inteo upset Goldmund so violently. I reminded knoen ruck rated ting so long. me as ten told really a t."
a scolding but ion not to visit time being.
Meano bed and ting beside deemed it advisable to so sciousness by violent means. togetoo sick. Out of . Mean. t en somet kind of times. t gue. tle use for precocious, overly young teac o to do upid miser, ture, picked t scures of this world!
er, and t came in, Fatill sitting beside taring into t a dear, trusting young face to sit beside it, o migo a colic, of course; o torted face, toated to formulate to and observe. But if t grimly, o look far for t, and ime of it.
t stepped up to t over tly drehe eyelids.
" ; he asked.
"Id rat a bit longer. is sound. e must not let anyone in to see ;
"Is ;
"I dont t any race of a blo;
"Do you t could be ;
"I rule t out. Do dispute, an insult? t ainly explain it."
"e kno no one is alloo see ay il o. If anyts in t."
Before leaving, t once more over t of t to aken to art. oo, o see er. But Narcissus ainly rig: not all our striving! ful of t rig no one in till a novice, been secrated, a monk, and t ile? God alone knely y.
It y, dizzy. not t; it didnt matter. But range land of experience urned? o some far-a alstable—aen it. been? t o had vanished again?
ened deeply i place from oday, angles of images rose before of roses. t! ! Again he fell asleep.
As all, radiant time ;You ten your c; But , found it. Narcissuss voiarcissus? In a flasains of rubbisfulness vanis -blue eyes.
Fatir, ly ood up.
"Is someone in t; Goldmund asked.
"It is I, t on."
ed ts glow fell over his well-meaning, wrinkled face.
"But am I ill?" asked the boy.
"You fainted, son. your s take a look at your pulse. ;
"Fi tired."
"I bet you are. And youll go sleep. But first youll s all made and ready. Lets drain a mug togeto good fellows;
a small pite in readiness.
"So ; laug;A fine nig keep aion, my boy. Not ttle secret drinking in t. Prosit."
Goldmund laugasted t ened; asted su care of and strao be lying t, drinking a mug of s .
"omac; the old man asked.
"No."
"I t you probably ts see your tongue. ell, fine, your old Anselms proved omorroay in bed and Ill e and take a look at you. Already t do you good. Lets see if t like a ac;
toget of t efully, delig off to bed.
Goldmund lay aenderness and innermost e. "O my mot possible, et you!"
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