For a long time, Sidd, t being a part of it. years as a Samana, asted ricasted lust, asted poill remained in for a long time a Samana; Kamala, being smart, e rig ill t of ting, of fasting, o o them.
Years passed by; surrounded by t te a y by to to Kamala.
t state of being aime at t otamas sermon, after tiovinda, t tense expectation, t proud state of standing aloeac teac supple o listen to t, ing; distant and quiet, to be near, ama, ime aftere living, joy of tatio knoery, ill one part after anot. Just as a potters ion, urning for a long time and only slos vigour and e to a stop, t on turning ticism, tiation for a long time, still turning, but it turned sloly and o ing to a standstill. Sl tem of a tree, filling it slo rot, tered Sidd filled tired, put it to sleep. On they had experienced.
Siddo trade, to use o enjoy o iful cloto give orders to servants, to baters. o eat tenderly and carefully prepared food, even fis and poultry, spices and ss, and to drink o co in a sedan-co sleep on a soft bed. But still different from and superior to ttly feels for t insulted, sloibly, as t seasons and rainy seasons passed by, ired, y . Just sloo t ao attaco t of passion in t s antly in love. time in love learn t of all t of all t ones, , in ter before, ayed in bed for a long time, felt uo tired. It ient, oo loud, er and more spiritual t it rarely lauger anotures ures of distent, of siess, of ill-he soul, which rich people have, grabbed hold of him.
Like a veil, like a t, tiredness came over Siddting a bit denser every day, a bit murkier every mont ime, loses its beautiful colour in time, gets stains, gets s tarts to ss arted after iovinda, colour and splendour as tains, and bottom, already ss ugliness ment and disgust ing. Sidd notice it. iced t t and reliable voiside of t time and times, .
ured by t, covetousness, slot vice as t foolisy, possessions, and ricured rifles te and devious en into t base of all dependencies, by means of t time, Siddo play t otimes only joined om of to take akes. o a pain of , losing and ing c rate s false god, more clearly and more mogly. takes and mercilessly, ing money, lost je a ry, again. t fear, t terrible arifying fear, fear to al, al, al it to a sligill felt sometoxication, someted form of life in t of urated, lukewarm, dull life.
And after ea ly to pay, because ed to tinue gamblio tinue squandering, tinue demonstrating ience ime, lost o ion fiving ao titioned ens of t one roll of t it, became more strid more petty in nig money! And o and disgust came over inued fleeing, fleeing into a neo a numbing of on by sex, by o to pile up and obtain possessions. In tless cycle ired, growing old, growing ill.
time came ting urees, talking, and Kamala ful ell Gotama, and could not ill aiful ime, o tell ted Budd;One day, per Budd and take my refuge in eac; But after tied o of making love ing and in tears, as if, once more, sed to squeeze t s drop out of ting pleasure. Never before, it rangely clear to Sidd o deato to tion, an inscription of small lines, of sligion remi of autumn and old age, just as Siddies, iced, ireden on Kamalas beautiful face, tiredness from ination, tiredness and till unsaid, per even scious ay: fear of old age, fear of tumn, fear of o die. ito ance, and full of cealed ay.
t t in ed as if o toe, true, o bed a long time after midnigired a excited, close to rating ire body like taste of t too s, dull music, t too soft smile of t too s st of ts. But more ted by iredness and listlessness of en and drunk far too mucs it back up again to free s and all of tless life and of disgust. Not until t of t activities i before y-ly fallen asleep, s a of sleep. In ts, he had a dream:
Kamala o. : te, imes alo sing iion, epped in front of tiff on took it out, in a i, and in t, terribly s , as if this dead bird.
Starting up from t enpassed by a deep sadness. ort seemed to less in ood ty like a castahe shore.
it to te, sat doree, felt deat and , sat and sensed o an end in s, and in tire patarting days ime rue bliss? Oimes aste of it, it in : "t of tinguisation of te ant in t; t it in : "t of you, you are destined for, ting you." And again, as a young man, itude of tled in pain for tained kno in of t, in t of t t;Go on! Go on! You are called upon!" o t perfected one, and also ain. For any more, a t, elevation, tent ful pleasures a never satisfied! For all of t kno ried o bee a man like t er all, t entire o co ill need play a game an ending? as it necessary to live for t necessary! to play oen times--but for ever and ever ain?
t t play it any more. S, something had died.
t entire day, uree, tama. Did o leave to bee a Kamas t sigars, : "ting under my mango-tree, in my pleasure-garden." tle -- really necessary, rig not as foolis ree, t he owned a garden?
ao to tree, o t food t strong of y, of able . iredly, so things.
In t, Sidd ty, and never came back. For a long time, Kamasold t Sidd astonis al it? as a Samana, a man time togete of all t sioo for t time, t s one more time to be so pletely possessed arated by him.
ive in a golden cage. Sook t a fly. For a long time, ser it, tors a after some time, s s from t time sogetha.
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