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首页a friend of me为什么不对The Sea of Hesitation

The Sea of Hesitation

        "If Ja e Oak S; Francesca said. "If Longstreet    day at Seanassas. If aining t Order No. 191 at Frederick. If t taken Ja. If E day of Gettysburg. If Picketts co t food for our troops at Petersburg. If our atta Fort Stedman t and Fitz indulged in a s Five Forks. If tores and provisions as promised at Amelia Court    been captured at Saylors Creek togeteen artillery pieces and four ood Lin -- entions. If ten our civilian administration equal to t exed by tary. tters o a ;

        "Yes," I said.

        Francesca is slig one must let people talk about    to talk about. One must let people do    to do.

        tter from a woman in Prague.

        Dear Greasy thomas:

        You ot uand . You tand t tand, not pig-s ion. in like yourself ever o life?    still, vulgar s to inform t of your inappropriate tinued existence, a stain on trys face. . . You    expect Federal Marsin-oad. You kno anyt you ;t; for ot capable of "feeling") is seous t I    sick of your importunate p, egregious fraud-pig. You are not even an    pig    of some use in touc like you at all.

        Love,

        Jinka

        I read tter t one must let people do    to do.

        I y. In t Administration. My s of processing applications. People apply for all sorts of tions and buck tairs t agree    people sted to do    to do. Upstairs t ideas. But "different ideas" are icular os.

        Before I y I erested in c beo sensory deprivation. I did sensory deprivation studies for a er at Prion.

        At McGill    of taub o be t building in ted exclusively to tudy of red. But    studying red, red people kindly lent us t. I    subjects (ts o less intelligent and more intelligent). I spent t of taub eresting things.

        temperature of t decrease in sleep. temperature of t of the body does.

        t f subjects e-noise geor at 40db singing in teered as a subjed, gratified at being assigo t;more intelligent" group, spent many many aped over my eyes and te-noise geor emitting its obliteratiype 4 ions, noto me. Except. . . I began to ;be; at all seemed to me a small miracle.

        I poing on to stress tigates tressed individual reacts to stress, but decided suddenly to do sometead. I decided to take a job    Administration and to try, insofar as possible, to let people do    to do.

        I am a my work is, in many ways, meaningless.

        A call from ment.

        "Did you get it?"

        "Not yet."

        "?"

        "Ive been busy. Doing t;

        "But    t;

        "I told you Id take care of it."

        "Yes but w;

        "Some people    get tments."

        "But ts not t. You promised."

        "t    fluso to;

        "No ;

        "Full of it. Brimming. ;

        "ting tired of sleeping on ts not big enoug;

        "My    cries out for ;

        Ss a little strange. S seem to take to him, early on.

        Sam. s ac of carbon paper, e lineless f, dagger clasped in treac    slithering. . .

        No. ts inpletely true. Sams just like t of us: jeans, turtleneck, beard, smile ootaxes, a degree in education, a B.Ed. And    refereoo, Cte doted, Frane could enougral    alk -- But    see    turntable on t all ts behind us now.

        I sa t treets been sold. It stood empty for years, an arcectural anomaly, toried, brick, but most of all, triangular. treets e toget tive buyers must    t to let morality go o a mérois. triple bed, ized to fit tractor and Skilsating t righe bedcrumbs.

        Selephones again.

        "It doesnt o be t bed in tg."

        "For you, dear friend, Ill take every pain. ere ced t;

        "tom, t funny. I slept in t nig;

        "Youre too long for t;

        "Do you    Sam to do it?"

        Do I    Sam to do it?

        "No. Ill do it."

        "t."

        e ent for quite a ed try and easing s Sam. ts good.

        Francese.

        "te Lee e," s;Listen. No one is more ay for ties of my position. I ot even aplis I myself desire. ations of otion I sensibly feel trengt yet recovered from ttack I experie spring. I am being more and more incapable of exertion, and am ted from making tions and giving to tions in to be necessary. I am so dull making use of tly misled. Everyts to tages to be derived from a neained. I kno    and brave an army as ever existed to sed s, and it    day of my life to see at its ;

        Francesca stopped reading.

        "t    E. Lee," she said.

        "Yes," I said.

        "t; she said.

        "I kno;

        "I ed o win. So muc;

        "I uand."

        "But ."

        "I    it."

        Francesca e-gray eyes ly, a lifelong plation of ty of Lees great raveller. I left Francesd o er dark. One must let people do    to do, but    to slap you upside tillson    cards out of your pockets? A problem.

        tting poorer. I saoor man and asked him if he had any money.

        "Money?" ;Moime ago."

        e y to tend no irony.

        Anotter from Jinka.

        Uhomas:

        tion t only man is vile must ed to describe you, vile friend. I ot tain t    of your name, in telepime in Prague. I c out of my copy, and scratc out of all t my elepelep city s escape your notice, stinki. You ment of treme Un, also as t Rites, is op it, drear pig. t to sciousness afforded by your project,    is, ot be suffered gladly, and I for one do not io so suffer. I    yet in take t I    ss and fresless inued association    ridiculously t E. Lee girl    raised you in my esteem, not a bit. One if by land and t will be sudden, I promise you. Be afraid.

        Cordially,

        Jinka

        I put tter ogeting sucters must make her feel!

        ittgenstein    about t    amusement park, t t    sure ters are correct or incorrect, but speak about t.

        I decided to call my brotor on trained as a biologist --    s to do, more or less). Because ioo be ducted in jiveass dialect.

        "; I said.

        "; he said.

        "s    any girl copy boys on t ne?"

        "Man," Paul said, " not only girl copy boys    topless girl copy boys. e gonna er    ;

        "ts ; I said. ";

        "Im depressed."

        "Is it specific or nonspecific?"

        "ell," Paul said, "I o read t. Im ready to drop t;

        One must let people do    to do. Fortunately my brottle to say about whe bomb will be dropped.

        My ot. S in an earlier existence sress (one of Balzacs mistresses).

        "I endured ; s;because it and very    uand ;

        "But ," I said.

        "I ient ists, sitting around, ness. Of course . But    kno, at time, for sure. Or . ts of doubt, depression."

        "As is natural."

        "ter greatness," said Cat;is a siess, in my opinion. It is like greed, only greed ter results. Greed    at least bring you a fine ra, in a rics to beat, erested in ness. I uess."

        "Yes," I said.

        "You," Cat;are    nreedy."

        "One must let people be --" I began.

        "Yes," Cat;t sounds good, on t t t; Stle cup precisely on ttle saucer. "take me out," s;take me to a library."

        e    to a library and spent a pleasant afternoon there.

        Francesca roking t -- t doesnt like me.

        "Lee     s," s;Not for a moment ;

        " ;

        "Losing," she said.

        I    to t ema and sa many s, ed. t many ss of ss cut, red blood on te sno fixed a car for a o bed togeto do    ermi somebody else, not t, eout.

        S film artists be alloo do    to do?

        Catranslation of te ed. Se o task, sually I    some pages of    and to me signifitly    statue by Rodin,    (possibly overstated) co botion.

        ed to do. I didnt even    to get out. Or pered to do: Sit in taped over my eyes and te-noise geor standing in for t) a tigator (Dr. Colcross, to do o do.

        Is t in trade? I dont think so.

        I pursue Possibility. ts something.

        t t exceeds iy t moment    s you in t you are looking at    in    look t says, "Proceed c; tial smasakes a long time, it seems like montes pass, in fact. Languor is t describes t of ts toion. Many , but till, everyt togethe glance.

        Sakes your arm and you leave tand, oget your side brusly. Desire is rong factor, because you are , and too, if s all (but of course s and ty and side tand, you stand for a moment t    eleven oclo t is, in t, t you take t good look at    you, to see if eit    rus tual blemis er, after extended acquaintance, and    ? dormant? in any case, not visible on t time). Everyto o seek a place    do, and fall into eacemporarily, and find some pretzels, and    is called a versation, and tell eac you true about trange places    sracted telegraps for your    meeting (botcer, at eleven in to o leave ural mid-m track, for you), and make, as I say, arras for your    meeting, ! or you both will die --

        ticular point to any of t. Or: t to t t t. rue? trutly overrated, volition s must be protected, ing itself    be obliterated, some people ten o .
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