thURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1944

        Dearest Kitty,

        Invasion fever is mounting daily t try. If you ions, t laug all t may all be for nothing!

        tatements as: "In t of a Britis to defend try, even flooding it, if necessary." tential flood areas marked. Since large portions of Amsterdam ios rose to above our s. tricky question elicited a variety of responses:

        "Itll be impossible to er.”

        "Dont be silly. ell o try and s on our bats and caps and ser as much as we , so nobody    see were Jews.”

        "O imagis biting their legs!”

        (t was a man, of course; well see w!)

        "e    even be able to leave table itll collapse if theres a flood.”

        "Listen, everyone, all joking aside, ry a a boat.”

        "ter idea. e    eacake a pag crate from ttid roh a wooden spoon.”

        "Im going to ilts. I used to be a    w;

        "Jan Gies    o.    ilts.”

        So no you, Kit? ted banter is all very amusing, but reality ion about to arise: erdam?

        "Leave ty along hers. Disguise ourselves as well as we .”

        "ever    go outside! t to do is to stay put! tire population of o Germany, wheyll all die.”

        "Of course ay    place.

        ell try to talk Kleiman and o ing o live    s ask Miep and Kleiman t some blas, just in case. And ra cereal grains to supplement ty-five pounds o find some more beans. At t    about sixty-five pounds of beans and ten pounds of split peas. And dont fet ty s of vegetables.”

        " about t, Motest figures. , "ten s of fisy s of milk, ty pounds of potles of oil, four crocks of butter, four jars of meat, tray jars of tomatoes, ten pounds of oatmeal, nine pounds of rice.

        ts it.”

        Our provisions are    fairly o feed taff, ock every s not as muc seems.

        e oo.

        "Lets all make little moneybags to ake our money o leave here.”

        "e    make lists of o take first in case , and pack our knapsacks in advance."

        "ime es,    t, one in t at t of the back.”

        "s t any er, gas or electricity?”

        "ell o cook on tove. Filter ter and boil it. e ser. e    also store er in ttles ub.”

        "Besides, ill    ter potatoes in toreroom.”

        All day long ts all I    invasion. Arguments about going inguisity cards, poison gas, etc., etot exactly cheerful.

        A good example of t i is tion h Jan:

        Annex: "ere afraid t , take tire population hem.”

        Jan: "ts impossible. t got enougrains.”

        Annex: "trains? Do you really t civilians on trains? Absolutely not.

        Everyone ; (Or, as Dussel alolorum.)

        Jan: "I t believe t. Youre al reason o round up all take them along?”

        Annex: "Dont you remember Goebbels saying t if to go, to all territories behem?”

        Jan: "t of things.”

        Annex: "Do you too noble or o do it? th us.”

        Jan: "You    say    dont believe Annex: "Its alory. No oo see til its

        staring the face.”

        Jan: "But you dont kno making an assumption.”

        Annex: "Because    all ourselves, First in Germany and t do you thinks happening in Russia?”

        Jan: "You s include t ts going on in Russia. tising fanda purposes, just like the Germans.”

        Annex: "Absolutely not. told trutly exaggerated, ts are bad enoug deny t millions of peace-loving citizens in Poland and Russia have been murdered assed.”

        Ill spare you t of our versations. Im very calm and take no notice of all t    me, and I t do anyto y let matters take trate on studying and    everyt in the end.

        Yours, Anne

        tUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1944

        Dear Kitty,

        I t tell you e Im longing for pead quiet, and t for a little fun. eve fotten o laug stop.

        t;t;; you knoo    school.

        Margot and I eenagers.

        Last nig ug    around    out of bed and carefully exami.

        do you td fotten to take it out. Fat about er to tease ;Du bist doce Rabenmutter." [Oh, you are cruel.]

        Of course, s, and old    tely assumed iest expression and said, "Youre a fine oo talk. ire floor is covered    t lying around again. You never put t aher!”

        I said I    used it, and Margot backed me up, since sy party.

        Mot on talking about il I got fed up and said, ratly, "I    even tting blamed for otakes!”

        Mot, ae later I o kiss .

        t may not ant, but ts on my nerves.

        Anne Mary Frank

        SAtURDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1944

        Dearest Kitty,

        t breeze, and Im longing -- really longing -- for everytion, freedom, friends, being alone. I long. . . to cry! I feel as if I    to explode. I kno cry. Im restless. I o anot beating as if to say, "Fulfill my longing at last. . .”

        I t in my entire body and soul. I o force myself to aally. Im in a state of utter fusion, dont knoo read, o e, o do. I only kno Im longing for something. . .

        Yours, Anne

        186 ANNE FRANK

        MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1944

        Dearest Kitty,

        A lot urday. s his: I was longing for

        sometill am), but. . . a small, a very small, part of the problem has been resolved.

        On Sunday m I noticed, to my great joy (Ill be     Peter kept looking at me. Not in t kno explain it, but I suddenly    as in love    as I used to tried not to look at oo muc    me and t made me feel s not a feeling I soo often.

        Sunday evening everyone, except Pim and me, ered around tening to t;Immortal Music of ters." Dussel kept ting and turning ter, and too. After restraining er asked someably if op fiddlione, "Ic; [Ill decide t.] Peter got angry and made an i remark. Mr. van Daan sided o back do .

        t    particularly iing in and of itself, but Peter ly taken tter very muco , because te of books in ttic, Peter came up and began telli, but Peter soon realized tentive listener and started o .

        "ell, its like t; ;I dont usually talk muc be toied. I start stuttering and blus my op, because I t find t s    to say sometirely different, but once I started, I got all mixed up. Its ao , and sometimes I wisill did:

        tead uing    get me anyly    to say and arent in t bit shy.”

        "O t," I replied. "Most of    very differently from talk too mucoo long, and ts just as bad.”

        "Maybe, but you age t no one    see youre embarrassed. You dont bluso pieces."

        I couldnt ly amused at ed o go on talking quietly about er, sat doly.

        Im glad to the same rages as I do.

        Peter seemed relieved t icize Dussel    being afraid Id tell. As for me, I oo, because I sensed a strong feeling of fellowsh my girlfriends.

        Yours, Anne

        tUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1944

        to blame. Monday evening Dussel came in to see Motold riumply t Peter    m if        aken it to . So everYt as rain again. Motory on to me, and I ly amazed t Peter, rary.

        I couldnt refrain from soundier out on t, and antly replied t Dussel ers face. I wish Id had a camera.

        Indignatie, indecision, agitation and much more crossed his fa rapid succession.

        t evening Mr. van Daan aer really told Dussel off. But it couldnt    bad, sier al appoioday.

        Actually, ted to speak to eacher again.

        EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1944

        Peter and I    talked to eac for a fe oo cold to go up to ttid any s birt ty o look at ts and ting lorictly necessary, somet I got my oon. Since I felt like spoiling Margot on    to get ter t tatoes. o Peters room, ely took airs, and I asked if I srapdoor

        to ttic.

        "Sure," ;go ao e back do knod Ill open it for you.”

        I t upstairs and spent at least ten minutes searc potatoes. My back started actic was cold.

        Naturally, I didnt boto knock but operap-door myself. But    up and took t of my hands.

        "I did my best, but I couldnt find any smaller ones.”

        "Did you look in the big barrel?”

        "Yes, Ive been them all.”

        By time I    ttom of tairs, and atoes ill ;O t; ook t;My pliments!”

        As ender look t I started gloell ed to please me, but since    make a long plimentary speecood eful. It still makes me o to t look!

        doairs, Motatoes, time for dinner, so I volunteered to go back up. ered Peters room, I apologized for disturbing airs, ood up,    over to staairs and tried to stop me.

        "Ill go," ;I o go upstairs anyway.”

        I replied t it    really necessary, t I didnt o get only time. vinced,    go of my arm. On my ook tanding by t; are you w on?”

        "Frenc; he replied.

        I asked if I could take a look at    to was down across from he divan.

        After Id explained some Frenco o talk. old me t after ted to go to tdies and live on a rubber plantation. alked about     and    like a hless bum.

        I told y plex. alked about t Russia and England o go to    eac the Jews.

        ian or could bee oer ted to be baptized, but t    o feel like a , but t after t a momentary pang. Its sucill ou him.

        Peter added, "the chosen people!”

        I ans;Just thing good!”

        But    on g very pleasantly, about Fat judging er and all sorts of t I t even remember them all.

        I left at a quarter past five, because Bep had arrived.

        t evening    alking about ture of a movie star Id once give a year and a    so muc I offered to give him a few more.

        "No," ;Id rat. I look at it every day, and t have bey friends.”

        I noer uanding of oo. I fot to mention sometalking about.

        ;No, Im not afraid, except o t myself, but Im .”

        Peter y plex. For example, upid and . imes. One of to say, "O it out! Youre mucter at English and geography!”

        Anne Frank

        thURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1944

        Dear Kitty,

        I airs tories. I began ;Evas Dream," ;t Annex," cer also listened for a    part) and asked if Id e to ime to read more.

        I decided I o take a c t my notebook a    bit    God. I t really tell    made on    quite remember, not about    about t. I told    ed o see t I didnt e only amusing t thing more!

        Yours, Anne

        Frank

        FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 1944

        My dearest Kitty,

        airs, its al;; No I o look foro, my life ly.

        At least t of my friends o be afraid of rivals (except for Margot). Dont t, but I do    sometiful is going to develop beter and me, a kind of friendsrust. I go see    ts not t used to be, o make of me. On trary, ill talking a like me going upstairs. Ser and t I should leave him alone.

        ly, t s me uition? S me so oddly ers room. hen I e down again, she asks me where Ive been.

        Its terrible, but Im beginning to e her!

        Yours, Anne

        M. Frank

        SAtURDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1944

        Dearest Kitty,

        Its Saturday again, and t sell you enoug. I spent nearly an airs makiballs, but I only spoke to "; in passing.

        upstairs at ty to eitake a nap, I    doairs,    and all, to sit at te. Before long I couldnt take it anymore. I put my    out. tears streamed doely un; o e.

        It    four by time I    upstairs again. At five oclock I set off to get some potatoes,    , but    to see Boche.

        I ed to    upstairs    suddenly I felt tears ing again. I raced doairs to t toilet, fully dressed, long after I ears leaving dark spots on t utterly dejected.

        ;Oer t even like me and    need ao fide in.

        Maybe    of o being alone,    ao fide in and    Peter,     or anyto look foro. O my    feel so ed!    care for me at all and looks at tender    ing, I    be able to bear it.”

        A little later I felt ation again, tears ill flohe inside.

        Yours, Anne

        M. Frank

        SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1944

        of t on t clotrolling in the laundry.

        Eig of us prefer to sleep in,

        Dussel gets up at eigo tairs, to tes a wo washing himself.

        y. toves are lit, t s is taken do Dussels back range, but a praying Dussel is a terrible sigo bes not t s seal, not at all, but er of an ire fifteen minutes -- rog from oes to    goes on forever, and if I dont s my eyes tigarts to spin.

        ten-fifteen. tle; ters, t sleepy faces are beginning to emerge from t, fast, fast. Margot and I take turns doing ts quite cold doairs,    on pants and    or I urn in t eleven, and then were all .

        Eleven-ty. Breakfast. I    dalk about food    my bringing t up as well.

        teen. e eace s do. Mr. Dussel makes tling to as    tic as ss on    and disappears into ter and Mouschi. Mrs.

        van D. dons a long apron, a black    and oversy laundry and, airs. Margot and I dhe room.

        EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23,1944

        My dearest Kitty,

        terday, and Ive perked up quite a bit. My ing, t to ttic almost every m to get tale air out of my lungs. t ter ing on

        my favorite spot on t at tnut tree glistening ing ra    speak. ood    a t. e breatside and bot t t be broken ime o go to t to c boy. o t, and I folloeen minutes    say a ding, and could see    to c    I also looked out tting my eyes roam over a large part of Amsterdam, over tops and on to trip of blue so pale it    invisible.

        "As long as ts," I t, "t, how    I be sad?”

        t remedy for tened, lonely or uno go outside, some everyt s God s people to be ures beauty and simplicity.

        As long as ts, and t s tever tances. I firmly believe t nature    bring fort to all who suffer.

        O    be long before I    she same as I do.

        Yours, Anne

        P.S. ts: to Peter.

        eve been missing out on so mucime. I miss it just as muc talking about external t sense; I mean ternal t I ted for the inside, I mean.

        tting in front of taking a long, deep look outside at God and nature, I    kind of ure, h and much more

        besides, to recapture t happiness.

        Ricige, everyt. But t    only be dimmed; it o make you happy again.

        ry going to t on a beautiful day and looking outside. Not at tops, but at t t youre pure hin and will find happiness once more.

        SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1944

        My dearest Kitty,

        From early in to late at nig Peter. I fall asleep    ill looking at me.

        I rong feeling t Peter and I arent really as different as er nor I oo superficial, likes to flirt and doesnt     goes on in akes an active i in my life, but act, sensitivity or motanding.

        Boter and I are struggling    feelings. ere still unsure of ourselves and are too vulnerable, emotionally, to be dealt     to run outside or ead, I bang ts and pans, splaser and am generally noisy, so t everyone ion is to s tle, sit quietly and daydream, all true self.

        But her?

        I dont knoo keep trol.

        Yours, Anne

        M. Frank

        MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1944

        My dearest Kitty,

        Its like a nig goes on long after Im a be    let tice, and I o pretend to be c is ag.

        Peter Scer van Daan ed into oer, ing, and Margots t, since sakes advantage of my smiling face to claim me for    is to be left alone.

        Peter didnt join me in ttic, but    up to t to do some carpentry work.

        At every rasp and bang, anotance a clock olling Be pure in , be pure in mind!”

        Im seal, I kno and foolis too.

        Oh, help me!

        Yours, Anne

        M. Frank
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