I     to be a    uainty and danger. Our fles    fear for to make ter t our son all of time. Ed    a cures of t otraits leapt tions. Of my ole more tav Ungerland. I olen long ago. And o reclaim    in tcerfuge for a more sinister purpose. turbed pograped t t tting to steal our son.

        e lost Edime. On t gloriously ernoon, y, for I er services ter all out ion. Afteress and I took Edo t face-to-fater s and monkeys. A rollers, desultory teenagers, even a family aggered a year apart, a spiracy of freckles and blue eyes. too many people for my taste, but led along    plaint. Eded by tigers and loitered in front of t ton dy, r at ts to ence t of ts blad-e dreams, oiger tcs tail, annoyed by my soreaties. tess took advantage of Edra to front me.

        " to talk to you about Eddie. Does    to you? tely, and somet kno normal."

        I could see ;ly normal."

        "Or maybe its you," s;Youve been different ely. Overprotective, not letting doors catcrees, but its as if youre afraid of    of yo beore indepe."

        I pulled o t of our sons ;Do you remember t someone broke into t;

        "I kne," s;You said not to    youve been preoccupied ,    you?"

        "No, no, I just remembered, ograp nig made me t t music to express myself. I ess, and t under my fiips. today in t like t St. Nico tra."

        S my c.    and o be. I    t moment t I fot t, and ts    t    ired of tigers and    or nearby, ready to beg us to let    ed and ion t Edly eaten by tigers, but a quick gla t t cats stretc asleep in tion, t tess and feared t I    to break .

        "; I told . "Ed;

        So t ;Eddie," s;;

        e    doo ave ition, alarming ts. tess stopped an elderly couple e dire. "tle boy all aloon dy."

        "t c; ting a to tance be t of tled along, attempting to    and clumsy jog, ced penguin t o ted past Eds bill    , t us as ;t of t and off ;

        taking Edo never let go.

        Ede on a string, alening to break free. Before arted sc ess took good care of o oons. urned four, Eddie    in o o ing imaginary games and panions to ernoon, but to e back. t rusted es. Any one of them could have been a geling in disguise.

        Strangely, my music flourision ained oys and books, I posed. tess enced me to find my oy used record store. Sickets to    musid books on orcration and instrumentation, and insisted t I go into ty to    t friendly g, in esseoire in treasure    Ce dozens of    success or attentioed from my efforts—a coerced performance of a ne by a local    electric an ate. I tried everyto get my music    tapes and scores around try to publis usually received a form reje, if anyt poser serves an apprenticess, even middle-scea my , I kneions    yet fulfilled my iions.

        One p e in ter pig et in California, erest in actually rec one of my positions, an atonal mood piece I ten sly after to say ted us to visit and stay at    tess, Ed to t summer of 76 and    fe cafe in Nortaurant among a alian joints, and unning     to see ties. Nothing weird prowling around California.

        tor of Grace Caternoon to record, and tone and bala instrument I ered me algic for tet c a fees, and after rings for time, everyone seemed satisfied y minutes. As    our limited prospects. Per actually buy t ty about ts audience.

        t in told us not to miss Big Sur, so on our last day before flying ed a car and drove sout    of t bet tacular. tess ed to see to pull off and relax for a bit at a cove in tana ilderness. As    mist rolled in, obsg turn back, o pii a small crest beacy-foot straiger t plunges from te cliff to t ter luncess and I stret a bla, and Eddie, all of five years old and full of energy,    us from rocks, and in our seclusion, I felt at peace for t time in ages.

        Maybe tides or ter luncess and I dozed on t. I range dream, o    visited me in a long, long time. I alked to a ree and pulled at il    like a breacerror filled ion. t of our ribe stood around, g an evil song. I    to take he boy screamed.

        Riding t over tess lay sleeping, geous in repose beside me, and a t     to protect    around us, I lay on top of opped suddenly and ;;

        "Im ;

        "op. ;

        I rolled off uated myself. t, blurring tours of a small rocky peninsula t jutted out into tco its granite skull. Beerfall ran doo t loide. No ot t shore.

        "Eddie?" Sanding up. "Eddie!"

        I stood beside ;Edward, w;

        A t from trees, tolerable . I    spray.

        "; tess asked.

        "I    out on t island as far as you    go."

        "Dont you kno;

        "I ed to see    t;

        "On t rock?"

        "Sting and staring at t;

        "All by s?"

        "For real, Mom. So get ;

        "Edories like t. t a person around for miles."

        "For real, Dad. e see."

        "Im not going out to ts cold and    and slippery."

        ";—tess pointed out to trees—"look at t."

        Dark    do distance s. Sopped    e close, sranger. e peered at eacer, and t lasted as briefly as tograp time. Suroerfall and ran, vanishing beyond in a haze of rod evergreen.

        "ait," tess cried. "Dont go." Sohe girl.

        "Leave ; I ;S looks like s;

        "ts a     ;

        Eddie s and sat o tell us all about umbled out as he warmed up.

        "I ure and came to t tting t berees, looking out at to sit ;

        " is ; tess asked.

        "Ever o e er to c;

        "Eddie, did ss    ;

        "S took more told ;    tides, as if remembering a ion.

        "Did s;

        "No."    around his shoulders.

        "Not all?"

        "S t ;

        "Did s; I asked.

        "Sarted calling me. And s. And I told    my mommy and dad."

        tess embraced our son and rubbed . S t;S slipped a;

        From t moment to tant our plaouc     lost girl, and     so mucerious appearand disappearance, but y.

        tled in at o see the gelings everywhere.

        In tourday m for a    ered by a toing urn, quietly sug a lollipop as ared, unblinking, at my son. o eacy to finisences. Driving , I saery and ,    be plotting at suce    parties or t ried to o to find someone else    everyone scoffed ory. All c my oures. Be eyes exists a hidden universe.

        tets album, tales of onder, arrived by Cmas, and    t over and over for our friends and family. Edo    teady cello line and ticipating its arrival, t er imes one listeo ter midnig as a prayer, a sudden blast of my song startled me aing t, I came doairs in my pajamas, , only to find my son bug-eyed in front of tized by turned doo blink rapidly and shake his head as if awakened from a dream.

        "; I said in a lo;Do you kno is?"

        "Is it 1977 yet?"

        "ys over, fella.    made you put on t;

        "I ;

        I pulled o my lap. "Do you    to tell me about it?"    ans burro note resounded as to silence, so I reac off tereo.

        "Daddy, do you kno reminds me."

        "Reminds you of rip out to California?"

        uro face me until o-eye. "No. Of Speck," ;t;

        it moan, I dre.
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