At age ten, I began to perform in front of ordinary people. In appreciation of to play as prelude to tmas ss to ts umes. My tea, and I put togetrauss, a of "Six Little Piano Pieces" in    t "modern" piece, o our audience, displayed my range    being overly ostentatious. tmas s ty-minute program for ter sot froheir wimples.

        "ts raordinary," t ran t. "But t last song."

        "Sc;

        "Yes, very iing." Sood up in front of ters and paced to and fro, searcact. "Do you kno;

        "Else, Mot;

        "Somet;

        "Seasonal, Mot;

        "Somet kno;

        "Im not sure I uand."

        Surned and addressed me directly. "Do you know any Cmas songs? A    Nigs Mendelsso;

        "You    carols?"

        "Not only ; Sc. "You could do Jingle Bells or e Cmas. "

        "ts from ; one of teered. "Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire and Marjorie Reynolds. O youre too young."

        "Did you see Bells of St. Marys?" teacers. "asnt ?"

        "I really liked t Boys to;

        Rattling t t;Surely you kno;

        Crestfallen, I     nigig on a paper-cutout keyboard fas t eve-ning, I trimmed    t to say, bombed. I played tmas stuff brilliantly and to a tion. "Cretins," I said under my breated tion. During my repeated boling. But t at tnize my parents and neigion for ted by table strains of tes. No gift as ed gift. And I greo , a real smile plastered on ed. I ed more.

        ted in t t my musical talent ry increased. I felt more and more removed from taken me for a    t of t perfor-ma    in tin and    til I could lest pressure. toire, t ; and Soul," and t being adept at popular song alloo accept odd jobs in objected at first to tardization of my talent, but I gave ory about needing money for lessons.    er on t. itive egg and co buy a used uprigime for my thday.

        "s t; my fats beautiful maery housed in a rosewood case.

        "Its a piano," my mother replied.

        "I    see t.    get ;

        "Piano movers."

        te from t and lit it in one s move. "Rut it    is ;

        "For ice."

        "e t afford a piano."

        "e boug. Me and ;

        "it; I added.

        "And t;

        "You boug?"

        "On Mr. Martins advice. For ;

        "ell, t;    of the room.

        I played every c. Over t fe    tics of tes. t puso my core, as if t one. I gre summer in order to better reac. Around toiced spreading my fingers as far apart as tips became smootive. My s in er    my skill and uanding grerivolves getting people to listen to ts and seemingly insignifit silences betes, tones betones. By pter aug self-trol.

        My fat stand to ice, perery I tained. reat into t ers of to go outside. A feer Mom and I boug televisio, and a er a man came out and installed an antenna on tc Your Life or to keep it doo-gether.

        "Im going for a drive."    on.

        "Youre not going drinking, I ;

        "I may stop in for one ;

        "Dooo late."

        ell after midnigagger in, singing or muttering to epped on one of toys or barked ting, doors every ers, painting t from to listen. iting fatill dandling t test primitive draick , sitting do table for tea parties and t    read minds, I suspect    at odds    art corrupted me, made me less a boy. ise me for a ed c grade on a test or essay.

        As rolley statiourday,    to engage and uand. On tball game beting Irisre Dame and Navy unfolded. One of teams scored a toucacular fashion.

        " t? Did you ?"

        I looked out tapping out    .

        "Do you even like football?" he asked.

        "I dunno. Its okay."

        "Do you like any sport at all? Baseball? Basketball? ould you like to go ing someday?"

        I said not of being alone gun frig in t a fe miles pass beh us.

        "s not t and day?"

        "I like musid Im good."

        "You are t, but ly, did you ever stop to try somet you knoo life t;

        If rue faternally disappointed in eful t    actually related. trees, and tion t I only appeared to be ime, I ;Iur meinen So; acles, and tom memory disappeared. I sensed Billy Day    eart this for a son?

        "Im t Im starting to like girls," I volunteered. ousled my    a    of my masity never came up again.

        A basic trut. Girls uation. I noticed to t every cert performance. As if ten times a day: an older ies in a gray coat on a gray street er; tuesday m to buy a dozen eggs. Ponytailed girls jumping rope. Girls s. Girls in bobby socks and poodle skirts. In tess    to te Goddard; Marilyn Monroe. Anyone curved. Allure goes beyond appearao ternal gyroscope. Otes. Some ortured lives ter. ttes. I loved t    sucoo so say a word.

        t girls,    virtually every performance, I could pick out from tening, as opposed to terminally bored or merely disied. tared banerved me, but at least tening, as ent on my playing. Oteet c t tcer to and near me. t-performanters    res and ansions for as long as I could whe women and girls.

        Unfortunately, ts aals    parties and sy. Many afiados erested in a ten-year-old prodigy, but ty died o be , I ude t my teacer year. C again, I found my old poo be just a boy to ing to be a groing     me t to bine my passion for musid my i in girls: I would form my own band.
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