Goldmund e some time;    t; one of tay    adultery for t of love—ely after of ten?" Not one o stay, not oake o s of ted at it to any of tioned ,     remember a single opped longing in t. Still, it seemed a little odd and sad t love o be so extremely s-lived    it iated as rapidly as it     s     iful but did not    because tled error of t solely because of sometty doll, to o ts, only to run back to tere of tings t aed t tell.

        groired of learning from ually    more drao girls, to t     most young girls    of reacimid aed. But    ure, a icular play, o everytiable and pliable as a co every sedu: and only for t reason    o drao     , o ead patient    and greedy    time, ain artful and knoo le, to sigo be ce, to be s    s prompt o do. t any elligent senses soon perceived in    made heir darling.

        All time    time s of love, absorbed to see iplicity, o feel, to touell tive to every tone of voice; ain ain tone infallibly told ype and scope of ties. it e variety: eo ts of t of a knee. o tell oype of ly probing fingers, one kind of skin, of doe soon o notice t tinguis o o learn and exercise t nizing and differentiating still more subtly, more profoundly, er variation. Periny o learn to knoo learn love in a til ion, to play not only one, but t number of instruments. But to    to learn Latin and logic    being particularly gifted for eit ed for love, for ty learning;    a ted and classified itself.

        Goldmund ead of a prosperous knigiful young daug umn; soon ts ting cool. aste of cold    autumn and er and    t in er. , esy, and able and over to reated    as an equal. ters kept t doeen; t sixteen: Lydia and Julie.

        t day Goldmuo tinue on    o iful blond young ladies, and t iced o stay. But after breakfast t dreold t filled ed, a ing desk    for ock of t exquisite paper and parc. By and by Goldmund lear t    ely abandoned udies for til, during a grave illness, God ed o go on a pilgrimage a traveled as far as Rome and stantinople, urn, ty, tled do ers, and no to e a detailed at of    pilgrimage. ten several cers, but—as o tin y; it antly. er if o corred copy out all t ten so far, and also to e the book.

        Goldmund kneies of o be sed eit most of all t of staying in tiful sisters for many monto e. it anot, er to unlock t t of fine bro and cap            and kneil a fit,    of a page,    of a sman, ed him well.

        in    too rusty eitoget over all t ten. Goldmund not only corrected ty expressions;    ts clumsy, s sentences o pleasing Latin strus, , secutive tenses. It gave t great pleasure and    stingy    least two hours.

        Goldmund rouble passing ime in tle—ified farm ing, and sman augo use a crossboo a dog, or a nag, or to    old , or t art a love intrigue    .

        ook great joy in ts t so prim so Goldmund. reated bot resped courtesy, but bot o be a tinuous courts ely, stubborn one for reated ure of resped mockery, as ter of learning. Sions, and also about er, but t irony in one, and ty of to everytreated Lydia like a lady and Julie like a little nun, and aile lo table after meals, or if Lydia spoke to side tted o tease ent a he was making progress.

        t autumn tayed late on tall asyard and till asters in tors arrived. A ed to travel farter for t. teously received; Goldmunds bed    of t room into ting room; ors, cs ran to to get fisook part in tivities a; ely felt ticed erest in ain someticed erest    ae s ce di came to play able; ook great delig still greater delig tension c, ive, burning eyes. Finally    doo reader table and toud calf urn pale and bite io tell aes from er days aen ily, not so muco ories as to too, sat listening, er    ony face, altoo, ed by t burned in t asy sang in    it, eactle Julie    resistand reje, ts    satisfa, and Lydia ion in , a mixture of deep longing, soft resistance, and t violent jealousy,    anso so s of love fluttered about ing, figher.

        After t ick, s ttle cloister ayed up for anot, tened ardently to tter t     of give and take, of glances and intonations and small gestures o being, eaced mosp also felt disgust a art. Afterening , , sure t togetion s rembli all t trayed knig surprise to t.

        t m t, a    s deed all urging to stay longer and insisted on immediate departure. Lydia stood by ed. S s aant.

        trangers udy, epped to tc of tyard. to be making less progress in tin position today. Goldmund racted; er released han usual.

        No one sayard.    t o ter and faster;    t cubble fields, s roting pine forest, and once again brownish.

        On tlined against tte, sitting rotting horse.

        ouret, to tiful, fleeing woman. Soon ch her.

        turn o look at ly casually, srotted ao    t from the chase.

        "Lydia!" ly.

        there was no answer.

        "Lydia!"

        S.

        "iful t o ce, your railing after you like a golden flasning. t iful! o flee from me. ts tle. I didnt knoed until last nig o flee from me suddenly, I uood. You must be tired, my beauty, my love, lets dismount."

        ion to keep e face looked do ed o tears. Carefully eps, made    doed grass, and k beside , fig bravely and overcame them.

        "O; so speak. Ster the words.

        "Am I so bad?"

        "You are a sedue fet to me; t    does not bee you to speak to me t    us fet t! But et to see last nig;

        "Last nig    nig;

        "Oop pretending, dont lie like t! It    able! Before me, under my eyes! And no ser me. You really dont know w s;

        Goldmuing upid of    silent.

        by    iful and un oo, felt t to be deplored. But in spite of all sill saw love in han he believed her words.

        But sed an ans    fortook on an even more bitter expression. S    tearfully aed: ";

        "Five me," ;ere talking about t s be talked about. It is my fault, five me. You ask if I    I also love you, and love kno be angry ;

        So    ter mouto tance, as tuation. t of using words.

        Gently    ely tact made tter. Yet    a little fused and sad, and soo seemed to be sad. S motionless, saying noto tance. All t and sadness! But ted    did not reject    took in tion Goldmund t s distinguiso iful, ly rounded fingernails. Gratefully    o it.

        Noail and admired it;    almost as e fingers ion    it efully led o h his cheeks.

        t;Its time,    go."

        enderly. Gently he kissed her slender fingers.

        "Please, get up," s;e must go ;

        antly. tood up, mounted, rode.

        Goldmunds    iful Lydia was, e!    even kissed     so ss by hey rode briskly.

        Only at trao t s;e s    time. ; And at t moment,    came running, sly in ;tell me if you     nig; imes and began unsaddling the horse.

        In ternoon, after , sudy.

        "Is it really true?" s ond    s.

        "But t, in t disgusting fas;

        "t ; ;Believe me, I    t your foot never came to me uable; it never asked me if I loved you."

        "Do you really love me, Goldmund?"

        "Yes, indeed."

        "But w will ;

        "I dont kno it. It makes me o love you. I dont t ;

        "A man is only alloo kiss    of t?"

        "No, Ive    of t.    you ot bey bride."

        "ts true. And since you ot bey ay    o speak to me about love. Did you t you o seduce me?"

        "I t and believed not t you migo kiss me. e talk so muc do t. I t love me."

        "t te."

        "And you did just te!"

        "I?    do you mean?"

        "First you fled before me    you loved me. t t    t    no be;

        "Im not like t roked yesterday. You seem to be aced to ."

        "No, tiful and refi;

        "ts not ."

        "O its true. Dont you kno;

        "I ;

        " your fore your s your fingernails, at your knees? And iced    blends into and r, ed, taut, firm, very slender siced t?"

        "talk! Ive never noticed t, actually, but no you say it, I do knoen, you really are a seducer. N to make me vain."

        " a s I    do ed in making you vain? Youre beautiful and Id like to try to s Im grateful for your beauty. You force me to tell you    a times better     learn from you, nor you from me."

        " is to learn from you?"

        "For me from you, Lydia, and for you from me. But you dont    to. You only    to love t you    learned anyt even o kiss."

        "So you ;

        like    ly brusque, false-ringing talk, could sense desire taking possession of ing against it.

        less glan o t    resistance,    o il t. Gently    anstle c let it go. Gently c, reating moutil it atingly came baeet aug violeil, exed, s    it rest, smelled    ender, calming sounds into    pupil, roduced to t by Lise, ting Jo    a came flas ed, it ime to bloom!

        Sloood up straigransformed, .

        "Let me go, Goldmund," s;Ive stayed ;

        Every day t    ouced    imes so    imes, on trary, siably but    permit o tling    s, ention of giving    joy; timidly s te fruit out of    and kissed it and s up again, still bluso    in a    day. ted names for eaco tell    en said t    marry ion s and draped h a black veil.

        For t time Goldmu not only desired by a    loved.

        Once Lydia said: "You are so    deep inside your eyes ty, t    exist and t all t is beautiful and lovely does not stay    beautiful eyes of anyone I kno. I t ts because youre o me out of t    Ill no longer ;

        alk. Sometimes    imes le caresses, only by    , , meaningless, magic sounds t nurses o fort c;Id really like to k it. Youll     be easy. Oimes I t to bee a poet, a man ifully. A youll alter go back to ter to your friend of    be made to die alone in t."

        S ,    eyes. But te-autumn land or ask    him.

        One niging for sleep.    ing in , brimming over    knoo do. tle at tomed to lying like t for quite some time before falling asleep; sleep    e. Softly, as oned a c to the Virgin:

        tu advocata pe!

        et macula inalis    in te.

        tu laetitia Israel,

        tu advocata pe!

        its soft music to    at time tside, a song of strife and umn, of t of Lydia and of Narcissus and of less .

        Suddenly arted and stared, not believing. te go across tone flently closed t down on his bed.

        "Lydia," ;my little doe, my ;

        "Ive e to you only for an instant," s;Just once I ed to see my Goldmund in ."

        S move, ts ing        more    permitted. After a s tic. Everyt knoroubled slumber,    ears.

        A fees, as s time. In ell, muplain about. tenderly ened; s arm;    hand caressed her knees.

        "Little Goldmout; sely muffled voiear ;it is so sad t I may never belong to you. Our small    last muc. Julie is already suspicious; soon so tell ice. If tle golden bird, your Lydia ear-so trees to see ter run a my fat bear to see you ter run a me; I dont    you to die, my golden one, I dont    to    your blue eyes! Oreasure, you must not go ao do if you leave me all alone?"

        "ont you e oget;

        "t ; s;oo o t I t. I t sleep in t and be ra. Nor    I bring suc speak, ts not just my imagination. I t. I couldnt do it any more t off a dirty plate or sleep in a lepers bed. Aiful is forbidden us, tle boy, I so see you er all. And I, Ill be locked up in my room and later sent to a vent. You must leave me, s, and sleep    women. Oc;

        Softly roked oucely, and begged: "My little flo me?"

        Not angrily but firmly sly.

        "No," s;no, I    let you. It is forbidden me. Per uand t, you little gypsy. I am doing    let me keep t, or else I ever again e to your room."

        erdi, a en    fougly against imes s to free imes    little Julie e flattery, and it    important to remain on good terms o dupe range relationstle Julie, . Sy traordinary beauty tra foldmund; en deeply in l attra    for ttle sister,    boters    Julie more beautiful aive, ed bot an eye on bot    of love. o s derness and ination to sadness it seemed similar to en deeply astoo see o titude of    of he form of her fingers.

        tants during ituted o retain someto re-create it. On a fe    most secret, tempts to draline of rokes of a pen—the line of her eyebrows, her hand, her knee.

        ituation . Ser oy and greed, o admit it. Sreated Goldmund ed ess and dislike. Yet, during moments of fetfulness, s and desiring curiosity. iten most tender, and occasionally even came to visit o breatmosp t. t offensive brusque s transgression a pt for it.

        Attractive and disturbing, tiful, capricious ctered betasted of loves secre ty dreams, played i, and t more ter except during meals. And Lydia also realized t Goldmund    iive to Julies cimes sive, delig    say anyt it, everyted, so filled    especially not be offended ered; alas, any day, any    of    to her heavy, anguished bliss, perhaps a dreadful end.

        Sometimes Goldmund asked    left long ago. It    to live t    ioned, lasting s to il noly excited and illed; moreover,    danger. aying and accepting it all, all tas and fused emotions? tions, and states of mind for tary, ted rooms.    t of to extricate e plications and to laug t rigo look for a kind of o be paying for it . A    only put up , but ly o do so. It rain to live t it iful sadness of s foolis-filled nigiful; it iful aable as t, resigone of    seemed so beautiful and so important to o retrace t    more intelligent, yet more experienced; not    mucure, much richer in his soul. he was no longer a boy.

        In le, lost voice Lydia said to ;You mustnt be sad, not because of me; I    t you only joy, to see you ed ye dreams at nig, it is vast and dark, I t tell you    and dark, and I    youre not t I    you and t I    forever and ever, alone like t. t ill    Ill see    doesnt matter, it only matters t ill ;

        One m und aer daio lie in    ed. ill see botricated rands of t caugtention, a strange kind ering to t table, te to tyard, tire landscape beyond    snoer. ruck by trast beted    and t, resigned er landscape: , , o sun,    and snoly maple and aser! Could o bee as t,    to tyard, outo t t rose branches.

        As te t, everybody mentio snoside. Snomas    far off. t spoke about ters to sno t t made t er day unfettable foldmund occurred long after nightfall.

        ters    Goldmund k    and dark, Lydia came to om. ordlessly s    to beat and to sole    Julie migray    s make up o speak to    it and to cause ly against , listening to tender o time, feeling his hand in her hair.

        But suddenly—s been lying terrible s up, ly friger.    ely ood close beside    over it did    t it    sgo it drop to t by a knife, Lydia sank bad g to Goldmund.

        In a mog, triump, t;I dont enjoy being in my room by myself all time. Eitake me i;

        "ell, e in t; said Goldmund, folding back t;Youll freeze your feet off t; Srouble making room for ionless. Finally, all t resist t t not so long ago tuation correspoo    secret wisrange anguis delig Julies    his side.

        "I just o see," s; feels to lie in your bed, since my sister enjoys ing ;

        In order to calm ly rubbed     . Silent and curious so    tance. But o fort Lydia, , familiar love sounds into    urn it toesque tuation     unbearable.

        It augrut explored tiful, quietly ing body of Julie,    for t time not only t     o give in to o love    renounce her had been wrong, had been nonsense.

        "My ," o Lydias ear, ";

        So to Julie t s.

        Lydia    tracted o it. S up abruptly, tore to    and cried: "Julie, lets leave!"

        Julie artled. tless violence of Lydias cry, ray tly s up.

        But Goldmund, offended arayed in all     up, kissed , and ly omorroomorro;

        Barefoot, in goood on tone floor,    blue    and    around er ure of suffering and submission t did not escape Julie in spite of t toucly ters vanisiions, Goldmund listened ily and breat.

        to meditate in solitude over trange and unnatural association. ters found noto say to eacer to tive beds, ead stubborn. A spirit of grief, tradi, nonsense, alienation, and innermost fusion seemed to aken    fall asleep until after midnig until torturously ail t up, dressed, k for a long time in prayer before tep on tairs    out and asked    to distinguiso put ao tter. Goldmund and Julie ill asleep o tell    mention Julies part in ture.

        ing room at t m,    in boots, vest, and girdled sead of t e. At once his.

        "Put on your cap," said t. "I o take ;

        Goldmund took er doairs, across tyard, and out te. tly frozen snoill red     t teep, snoil all disappeared and to see.    roof, tudy, ters. en toyed    of suddeure. Noracted     bitterly to leave this way.

        For an er going on ao t e. t    o run and tand t in danger. But t    ed.

        "From ; ;you inue alone, alion, youll lead to take revenge on you; I selligent to alloo live intimately ers. But if you y to e back, your life is lost. Go no;

        As ood in t of t dead. Like a g ood t move until Goldmund    ridge. tint in t e out, and snoo fall in tant flakes.
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