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THE LADDER

        My story isn’t b you, is it, Miss Lea?“ I endured a number of sucs to suppress my yaed and rubbed my eyes o Miss inter’s narration.

        ‘I’m sorry. I’m just tired.“

        ‘tired!“ s yever’s tter h you?“

        I s tired. t’s all.”

        Sernly, but I said notook up ory.

        For six mont on. e sequestered ourselves in a cill slept at nigairs to get from tco t seemed secure. ttresses    on oo o move. t too big any more at ease in ty, ty of our smaller aodation. All te fet t of tering behind closed doors, like a moribund limb.

        Emmeline spent mucime iing card games. “Play er. Eventually I gave in and played. Obscure games ing rules, games only sood, and    deligook bat    er, spent ing in ter I’d ed for t begrudge    ter if at least one of us could be happy.

        Before o Isabelle and taken dresses and st bottles and se of a bedroom. It rying to sleep in a dressing-up box. Emmeline    of date by ten years, oto Isabelle’s moty and forty years old. Emmeliertained us in titrances intant outfits. teen; ter’s versation or in t marry one day—and I remembered old me about Isabelle and t look at    ing to touc a sudden ay. But tcook a pack of cards from a silk purse and said, all c still, I made sure s leave the house in her finery.

        Joless. o do t a boy to ’ll be all rig’s only old Proctor’s boy, Ambrose.    lad. It    be for long. Only till I get the house fixed up.”

        t, I kneake forever.

        taller tood s, tarted. ient ant y nerves. “o ed to kno like thers.”

        But for some reason, t an outsider to Jo know.

        ‘ime and time again in anso my questions. ” ask too many questions, and    talk too much.“

        ‘ not ongue, but    eyes in his head.“

        John shrugged and looked away, uneasy.

        ‘I    al go on forever like tcure t took in ts inants, t. ”One day to ge.“

        “ge?”

        ‘Yro    be t? It’s o when yrown up…“

        But I     to kno was o say.

        Emmeline reasure box. I sat doo look up lessly at a sequin until it came a into t    time in t et oent and dreamy. Every so often ouco reveal the green unged.

        Did I really look like t? I co    of red    t reet in matc still, I didn’t look like Emmeline, did I? My face could not do t placid tration. It ration. I ing my lip, pus of tience. I    be tranquil like Emmeline. I e teeth.

        You    leave me, ed to say. Because I    leave you. e’ll stay ogetever Johe-dig says.

        ‘ we play?“

        Sinued     heard me.

        ‘Let’s play getting married. You    be tuff from t’s like a veil, look.“ S look up, not even    over    brus out of    her sequin.

        And so I turned my attention to reasure box. er’s keys ill in till sell, fotten ts and pieces of Isabelle’s jes er tle, a lengt used to be mine, given to me by till be t of tains ter arrived. And    didn’t seem to belong. Somet my o get a better vie! Gold lettering. I A R.    ing my    siginy lock. And a tiny key. No    reasure box. Gold letters and a key. I s ruck me. I A R! Diary!

        I reac a hand.

        Quick as a flas and stopped me from toucill s look at me. S and broughe lid down on her box.

        te pressure marks on my    where she had held me.

        ‘I’m going to go aally. My voice didn’t sound terribly ving. ”I am. And I’m going to leave you o grow up and live on my own.“

        ty, I stood up and    of the room.

        It    until ternoon t so find me on t in tain to teps, felt tain move . Fore ttly tening to set off on one of t in trail beo me aed    my s turn and speak to ook my o my finger.

        I ed fo before I looked. A ring. She had given me a ring.

        I ted tone ino t it close to t brougoo life. Green, like to my palm and made a tig o its .

        Joed buckets of rainer aied tables for t;    to turer. But after every task, ed, and every time I o able to get on    thing.

        ‘So tarden?“ I asked    s to do there.“

        reply.    it, then I asked again. And again. And again.

        Eventually    to ted do-of-doors. “Like to sy catded t ticed ty catcimes, t up a fe and do    feel so secure ing against ye’s safe enoug it rigo get a feel for it.”

        And t to tarden. o a medium-size yeo rest t it, but “No, no,” oo impatient.” times ree. t do a cigarette. I sat dooo. “Never cut into told me. And “Don’t cut into your oe. “Be    let t. Find somet in your line of vision. A roof or a fe’s your ancimes as long in tting.” ed ree all time o ree , and t just cut o your shoulder.”

        e finistes and stubbed out toes of our boots.

        ‘And    noance, keep t in your    close up.“

        I was ready.

        times    me rest t tree before isfied it ook t up.

        I    first I , kept looking doo go one more step up time I moved t took me several goes to get it safe. But gradually task took me over. I ood by, mostly silent. On a c mostly    c ime, slipped ty catcelescoped it, t I realized    of t I didn’t care.

        I stood o study my imes around tree. My    leaped. It was good.

        Jo bad,” he pronounced. “You’ll do.”

        I    to get to trim t, and t like c up to     time I o him.

        ely. “Mr. Digeook it. , fixing the roof.”

        I o one of ttes Jo in t, sending mean looks to t enviously. taking my time, doing it ime, beone against t t it ting late to be starting on t. t to find John.

        ts tions made a crazy clock-al c o    a stant six o’clock    splinters protruded from t move    straigo t trangely overcast.

        ted me. All of a sudden I    a stupid ot all.

        ‘ shall I do?“ I whispered.

        ‘ sened me.

        Stret ty temple, I cime pass. t rungs of ter rung it crept up to reacy catch.

        ty catc cy catc? Of course    if , then how… why… ?

        It didn’t bear t.

        Rung, after rung, after rung, t nearer and nearer. It reaced trousers, t, t takeer care of him?

        It didn’t bear t. Yet    to tig teness of Joiced, too, t into t of t lurd or sno does not print. No trace to s    ered at t tell me, it mig.

        Everyt.

        I stood up a Jo looking back. I    around to tcill tting topped    me. And topped—Don’t faint! Don’t faint! I told myself—o catcc faint. Not quite. Instead,    I didn’t co say, but ra. “ anybody help me?”

        ly doo the grass. “I’ll help you,” he said. “I will.”

        itill freser’s face, bereft, still dominating my memory, I barely noticed tter t ing for me in my room.

        I didn’t open it until I ranscription, and .

        Dear Miss Lea,After all tance your fato be able in some small o return to er.

        My initial researced Kingdom ion of ts of Miss er Barroer    at Angelfield. I ain number of dots relating to    period, and I am piling a report t you shin a few weeks.

        My resear end. I    yet exed my iigation of talian e, and it is more t some detail arising from throw up a new line of inquiry.

        Do not despair. If yoverness    be found, I will find her.

        Yours sincerely, Emmanuel DrakeI put tter a and gloves. “e on, to Shadow.

        airs and outdoors, and ook t to drift; imperceptibly it led ao tits of ted its easy curve and tiraig meant squeezing be of densely groure sems caugo o avoid being scratc apanied me so far, topped, overwh.

        I kept going. And I found    ro and t t esg from it iced.

        Directly ier’s sister sat at a table. Opposite cly tooo muc    toucer a moment’s pause, surned back to ask and carried on. But not before I iced se about t ed A in tylized angel oring the handle.

        I    before. A. Angel. Angelfield. Emmeline , and so did Aurelius.

        Keeping flat to tangling in my    of t cs of broken twig and dead leaves from my sleeves and shoulders.

        ‘Inside?“ I suggested, and o cur.

        Mr. Drake    been able to trace er for me. On ther hand, I had found Emmeline.
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