Miss inter seemed to se me cocoa on a tray but also offered to replace me if I ed to sleep. I s, thanks.”

        Miss inter also refused e tablets if shem.

        er closed her eyes again.

        ‘he wolf?“ I asked.

        ‘Quiet in t ain of ory. So ent to bide ime.    going to make a fuss. e’ve agreed to terms.“

        ‘ terms?“

        ‘o let me finisory, and to let him finish me.“

        Sold me tory of ted dohe words.

        I    deal of t to tical aspects of ainly, and I ure. If ime, my iion o alloer. t    be ant member of to     pareo do so; noto reveal truty t o be resolved. I    taken into at t    expected to love him.

        I did not d     t of    tentative movements of iny y of my desire to protect ed to protect o protect o protect tcoget drag my eyes aiful. My one desire o keep t to keep them safe.

        Adeline er, more jealous t o be expected: Emmeline er, s ions ouc t. the baby usurped all.

        I s    tent of Adeline’s red. I k of    t uood t go to, I could scarcely believe it. Passing Emmeline’s bedroom, I silently puso see if sill sleeping. I found Adeline in ture alarmed me. ep, sarted, turned and rus me out of tched a small cushion.

        I felt pelled to daso t. t e baby breath.

        Safe!

        Until ime.

        I began to spy on Adeline. My old days of ing came in useful again as from beains and yerees I s; indoors or outdoors, taking no notice of time of day or ted as. Sates t side my uanding. But gradually oivity came particularly to my attention. Oimes a day, so t it again, carrying a    of petrol ime. Sook to to lose i. S s distantly, ful.    looking I took tever did s    t t at o be realized. ever t seem to find it stra    despite trol s, sed ig the house.

        I seemed to spend urning to t one day, not ing to leave Emmeline aed, I put one instead in t of sig occurred to me t perter place. Because, by alurning to t it    altoget put ao the rigmarole.

        atcired me out, but sired. A little sleep    a long    at any . And I ting sleepy. One day, in t to bed. t in    noter,    soundly.

        I dreains.

        It ime to go and cired of al. atc, c at all.    , t touing to t, tranquil it —t ained myself, tting into    I rate me, take over my breat of t took    myself drifting off o sleep.

        Somet I    before I ever    move, kept my breat my lashes.

        S over t, lifted t of t to stop    I didn’t. If I , spoing , I could find out    a stop to it ond for all. tirred in    o be in anyone’s arms but Emmeline’s, and a baby is not taken in by a twin.

        I folloo t s ajar. t to t    to t regle I sa in t. I s. he was awake.

        Kneeling by took coals from ttle, logs from ted t kno of paper, kindling, coals and logs; Adeline’s fires    oug to burn at all.

        tion of c couldn’t catc couldn’t. But I could not reassure myself. o do    somet to spark. trong s fire to er if sed to badly enough.

        In cill ed in .

        t t o t s discovered my spying. It er. Surned into tairs and disappeared.

        I ran to trapped    quickly around a moten bolster from t it on t time to flee. I eps on tone flags, a dragging    rol    scraping on t as I stepped bato one of the library bays.

        ly, don’t oo my body so    miss t.

        Back at t    it appeared not. S    sed?

        tirred, a jerk of tensing of e bae t is so often to a tled     cry. ease don’t cry. ill again, and I ched.

        My books. On t pass    opening at random, for to see t looked all    t so read—

        Sore out pages by tful. Stered to to loose balls. Fast! S little volumes, suddenly a paper mountain. to t! I ed to cry out, but iful    and crumpled up, and I, in the shadows, speechless.

        S onto top of te bla in times I    from to til torn-up books. Jane Eyre, uts, te… Balls of paper toppled from t of t, joining t se.

        One came to a stop at my feet, and silently I dropped doo retrieve it.

        eous sensation of crumpled paper; ions, senseless. My    broke.

        Anger s me up; it carried me like a piece of flotsam, uo see or breat roared like an o in my    , leaped like a mad truck    I reasure in my arms, and so I stood by and cremblireasure t was mine.

        At last sisfied    , tain in tself. It’s all upside do’ll never lig t ttom. But even if s it properly, it ain matcill s aded victim, est madness of all: Supposing I    been to stop    rescued t and s burning er’s core er to her?

        It he fire of a madwoman.

        In my arms tirred and opened o meo do? Bely retreated, to t.

        I must get to a place of safety, ter. My mind er plan. Emmeline o do. It    Adeline killed Joake ell Adeli unless sell t! e art a ne Adeline,    Angelfield, but together.

        And it all seems so simple I    of it before.

        iture glo, I put t is on tcable. e , en route to our new life.

        Noo    es it ake me to e back to tco follow…

        Not times goes t is a place she never goes.

        I run doe and into t roapestry cuso a bed and lay them in his vas papoose.

        Noo the house.

        I am almost ture sters. Ser, living ligy ing in t. And two figures.

        Emmeline!

        I run. tcrils even in trane floor and    at top. Flames s; booksself is an inferno. In ter of t, in all t of top dead. Amazed. For Emmeliurning bloe for bite. Saliated against er before, but now s. For her child.

        Around t of liger anotrol s explode and fire rains dohe room.

        I open my mouto call to Emmeli t breat , and I choke.

        I ep around it, dodge t falls on me from above, brus out t groers I ot see t reacoucartles t instantly. t y—sops. I tug at her.

        ‘ they are clear enough.

        sand?

        I try again. “the baby. I have saved him.”

        Surely ss my tug, and her hand slips from mine. here is she? I    see only blaess.

        I stumble foro th her frasp her and pull.

        Still s stay urns once more into the room. hy?

        So er. She is bound.

        Blind and o the bond.

        Eyes closed against t, I pluo t let    s, I drag o t of it.

        t is    doesn’t burn easily. I pus s begages.

        Beside me, seps for to open it again. It is ser t pulls o t room.

        t sits in ter, is . ft burns my palm as I turn it. Nots me t nig t cs out a land to clutc again. tal burns , I pull her hand away.

        A great cry fills my     tself? I don’t even knoside tural start it gatrengt rises, reasity, and    be at ts breat tinues, impossibly lo fills t and tains it.

        And the fire.

        Outdoors. Rain. to t grass to damp our sm clot on our scorc t against t falls on my face, y eyes, and I    see again. Never , deep indigo -moving slate-black clouds, ten a plume, a spray ain of fire. A bolt of lighen again, and again.

        t tell Emmeline about t I    .

        I turn to o speak. her face—

        iful face is blad red, all smoke and blood and fire.

        her eyes, her green gaze, ravaged, unseeing, unknowing.

        I look at    find my beloved in it.

        ‘Emmeline?“ I whisper. ”Emmeline?“

        S reply.

        I feel my    die.     possible t… ?

        I ot bear to know.

        I ot bear not to know.

        ‘Adeline?“ My voice is a broken thing.

        But s    be, ter, t know who she is—

        does not reply.

        People are ing. Running up tly in t.

        I rise to a crouctle a. In t ty side, a off.

        It is quiet in tly on t carry me to a small    often during my ing years. A ting or baking, I    s kindly grandmoth her face.

        I take to    tting. tful and quiet. Sting. Just sitting titc, able beside tle    beree.

        Sakes    ion. As if sled trayed my prese crosses my mind to step fore, and tion. I smell t t surns ao t t rises over t    so ransferred from my clot teps firmly bato he door.

        I am alone.

        No name.

        No home.

        No family.

        I am nothing.

        I o go.

        I o me.

        I stare at my burned palm but ot feel the pain.

        kind of a thing am I? Am I even alive?

        I could go anyo Angelfield. It is the only place I know.

        Emerging from trees, I approacs, standing back, dazed and ctle o the grass.

        No one sees me.

        On tivity I stand, invisible. Per all. Per realized it yet. Per I .

        tion.

        ‘Look,“ sing. ”Surn. Stare. One of to alert turn from too. ”thank God!“ someone says.

        I open my mouto say… I don’t kno I say not stand th, no voice, and no words.

        ‘Don’t try to speak.“ Dr. Maudsley is by my side now.

        I stare at tor.

        I look at the house.

        t t. I remember t it behe baby.

        I begin to weep.

        ‘Sor to one of tay    ter in the ambulance.“

        A o me, clug akes off    and    arouenderly, as t , oh, my poor dear.”

        t t me doe. And to tal.

        Sares into space. Eyes opey. After t moment I don’t look. t surns to me.

        ‘ about t hand, eh?“

        I am clutc , unscious of t my body giving t away.

        akes my    o my palm. the key.

        ‘t’ll ells me. ”Don’t worry. Now, are you Adeline or are you Emmeline?“

        ures to this Emmeline?”

        I ’t ans feel myself, ’t move.

        ‘Not to worry,“ ime.“

        and ters for , “Still,    to call you somety-fifty, isn’t it? It’ll all e out in the wash.”

        tal. Opening tle. Voices speaking fast. tretced onto a trolley and    er. You’re safe now, Adeline.”

        Miss inter slept.

        I saender slaess of uft of unruly    did not lay straigemple, and in ook t eac brus , but all t over o fold to place.

        S stir. as shis unsciousness already?

        I ’t say cer t. t ts of its er ime lapped over me as I sat    sleeping, but hing of her child.

        I    to say about t t possible t I ed in my tiredness? Did I fall asleep and dream? Or did Miss inter really speak one last time?

        I o your sister.

        I jerked my eyes open, but o be sleeping as deeply as before.

        I did not see t tle before dao be he room was my own.

        Beginnings
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