My fato be t to replace my mot at table y since ss.

        "S; said my fat;But before it could e out of    greoo big and burst. It must ;

        tor said s t like a rabbit: quickly and    beo    t meeting of the Joy Luck Club.

        t;Auntie Lin cooked red bean soup for Joy Luck. Im going to cook black sesame-seed soup."

        "Dont s; I said.

        "Its not s; S tong, not t all. It    means tter entions. I ever remember t uand in t place.

        My motarted t Ciff leatrunk filled only ime to payto my fater t. Still ically betton ss and s.

        il ty gave y    Cs, my parents could not refuse tation to join tical adviprove tudy class on ednesday i Saturday ms. ts met t. Clairs. My medies t be begin to express in t least, my motold the Joy Luck Club.

        Joy Luck    marriage in Ks    ory sell me te after anot to disturb ake out a box of old ski sers sent to us by unseeives from Vancouver. Stom of a ser and pull out a kinky t to a piece of cardboard. And as so roll art ory. Over told me tory, except for ting long so ually into mine.

        "I dreamed about K," my mot;I dreamed of jagged peaks lining a curving river,    tops of te mists. And if you could float d enougo climb to a bed of soft moss and laugop, you o see everyt would be enougo never have worries in your life ever again.

        "In C Kime. t fried fisrying to jump out of a vat of oil. Be a little and trous eleps marco t of t caves. Inside greurnips, and onions. trange aiful you t ever imagihem.

        "But I didnt e to Ko see iful it    me and our to Ker    us doory    off to t, to gking.

        "e kne. Every day, every o ty, croo live. t, est, Nortonese, nort just C fners and missionaries of every religion. And tang and t top level to everyone else.

        "e y of leftovers mixed toget    been for ty of reason fo break out among t people.    you see it? Ser peasants, bankers    didnt matter t everybody so spit on and suffered t-moving diarrink, but everybody plained someone else smelled t. Me? Oed to make my face turn red. But t s o ty diseases.

        "So you    see    its beauty for me. I no longer climbed to say,    in ting .    to    and scurried to to    you t stay in tarts to fade and you bee like a starving person, crazy-. Outside I could urnips of t    migop of me.    you imagine    is, to    to be side, to    to be nowhere and disappear?

        "So tens scratco ty. And alo find t t been torn apart.

        "I t up Joy Lu a summer o t. Every play sed-story ink o go but into my    all    and day, I    kno    slitting t of a runaing a    for lying in    go to to find out.    use    s o do to help me move.

        "My idea o able. I kneo ask. ttle money. And t    sty and pleasant and o an old man er life.

        "Eac a party to raise money and to raise our spirits. tess o serve special dyansyin foods t good fortune of all kinds—dumplings ss, long rioodles for long life, boiled peanuts for ceiving sons, and of course, many good-luck es for a plentiful, s life.

        " fine food reated ourselves to    notice t tuffed mostly ringy squas tted e sparingly, not as if     to protest    eat anote, he lucky ones.

        "After filling our stomac it    table. My table    red     . table    able tiles her.

        "Oed to play, nobody could speak, except to say Pung! or g a tile. e o play    adding to our    after sixteen rounds, , time to celebrate ood fortune. And talk into t until tories about good times in t and good times yet to e.

        "O good stories! Stories spilling out all over t laugo deater t ran into top of dinner bo ly in pieces t day! And one about a girl ters for toilet    to her.

        "People t o serve bas every arviing rats and, later, t t rats used to feed on. Ot o celebrate ions,    unes, and ed, er, daugher. hnnnh! how could we laugh, people asked.

        "Its not t o despair o o prolong    t    of a    burned do? eleparving dogs running doreets    o sit and    for our oo choose our oiness?

        "So o ies and pretend eac past o us. e    alloo t. e feasted, old t stories. And eaco be lucky. t s o call our little parties Joy Luck."

        My moto end tory on a e, bragging about    t;I imes and eased t I rick of a clever t; s;I ens of t I    ricoilet paper    made us laugo te    even good enougo rub on our bottoms."

        I    my motory    a Cale. times s e to buy a ur rito a pot of pe. Sraded t gruel for t from a pig. t became six eggs, tory always grew and grew.

        And ter I o buy me a transistor radio, after s;; And told me a pletely different ending to tory.

        "An army officer came to my ; s;and told me to go quickly to my ellio run arains leaving Keal a her friends.

        "I packed my to to Co Ker from people running past me. It errible. Up to t day, tang insisted t Kected by t later t day, treets    great Kuomintang victories, and on top of tc     tead. er and faster, asking myself at eacep, ere they brave?

        "I pusoo cry. I tied scarves into slings and put a baby on eacil deep grooves greo bleed and became too slippery to o anything.

        "Along t reasures t gres of fine fabrid books. Paintings of aors and carpeools. Until one could see cages of dugs no    and, later still, silver urns lying in too tired to carry ture ime I arrived in C everyt for top of t;

        " do you mean by everyt; I gasped at tuo realize tory rue all along. " o t;

        S even pause to t made it clear to tory: "Your fat my first    t;

        ting tonig person I see is my fat;time!" s true. Everybodys already ies aies. t me, alardy, a cill at ty-six.

        Im srying to    time I sa t old me t my mot old my moted and said, "You dont even knotle pert of me! ; And s.    Joy Luck?

        "Auntie, Uncle," I say repeatedly, nodding to eacie and Uncle. And tao my father.

        tures from t Crip. "Look at t," ely, pointing to a po of troup standing on eps. ture t s aken in Cy for t matter. But my fat seem to be looking at ture anys as to ands out. ely indifferent. But    means indifferent because you t see any differes roubled I th.

        "ill you look at t," ing to anot picture.

        too many all kitany once fragrant smells pressed onto a to go into otaurants and iess ;

        I    been to t tly t. ie An-mei and Uncle Gee moved to t district from Coy-five years ago, t s all till looking mostly neic. turquoise coucables made out of on, ges every year.

        I remember tuff, because    let us toucure except tic cs. On Joy Luigs brougo t, I o take care of all t seemed as if ts able leg.

        "You are responsible," said my mot I rouble if anyt, broken, or dirty. I ter and-up collars and blooming brancs. too fancy for real d toe for Ameri parties. In told me ory, I imagined Joy Luck    gatom-tom dances of tV Indians preparing for war.

        But tonigery. ties are all    versions of sturdy able under a lamp t looks like a Spaniss on arts ting by reading tes:

        "Our capital at is $24,825, or about $6,206 a couple, $3,103 per person. e sold Subaru for a loss at six and ters. e bougernational at seven. Our to Lindo and tin Jong for ting o be celed until furtice. e o o bid a fond fareo our dear friend Suyuan aended our sympato tfully submitted, Gee    aary."

        ts it. I keep tart talking about my mot, to be t day in Kweilin.

        But everybody just nods to approve tes. Even my fatinely. And it seems to me my mothers life has been shelved for new business.

        Auntie An-mei able and moves sloo tco prepare tie Lin, my mot friend, moves to turquoise sofa, crosses cill seated at table. Auntie Ying, ing bag and pulls out tart of a tiny blue ser.

        to talk about stocks terested in buying. Uncle Jack,    mines gold in ada.

        "Its a great ion," y.    Englis atless. I t, but s . Sly blurred .

        "erent o play maonig; I ie Ying, wly deaf.

        "Later," s;after midnig;

        "Ladies, are you at ting or not?" says Uncle Gee. After everybody votes unanimously for tock, I go into tco ask Auntie An-mei ed iing in stocks.

        "e used to play maake all. But t; suffing on, one cick jab of gingery meat dabbed onto a turn    seals to tiny nurses cap. "You t ime ago, o i in tock market. t. Even your mot;

        Auntie Aakes t of tray in front of    on eac;Forty on, eigen eac; so iuffing. "e got smart. No luck. And ake all. Losers take overs! So everyone    -;

        I cie An-mei make more on. S fingers. S o t o plain about, t Auntie An-mei    about w she was doing.

        "S stupid," said my mot;but s o te and ask for papers for your brot ed to drop    t later salked to someone.    person told    rouble in C person said FBI     and give rouble in t of    person said, You ask for a . I said, You already    still she was scared.

        "Aunti An-mei runs t," said my mot;and s know w;

        As I cie An-mei, I see a s bent tened soft fiips of an old ie An-mei did to inspire a lifelong stream of criticism from my mot seemed my mot in bala oo muot enougher.

        ts ry. Eacs, sold me.

        too mucemper. t icized for te    and    ss to y t    let my mother speak her mind.

        too little    too quickly to listen to oto stand on your oie An-mei.

        too mucer and you flooo many dires, like myself, for arted , and t off to ary, later being a copyer.

        I used to dismiss icisms as just more of itions, beliefs t vely fit tances. In my ties, rodu to Psycried to tell    criticize so muc dido a .

        "t," I said, "t parents s criticize cead. You knoo otations. And    just means youre expeg failure."

        "ts trouble," my mot;You never rise. Lazy to get up. Lazy to rise to expectations."

        "time to eat," Auntie An-mei    a steaming pot of ton s able, served buffet style, just like at ts. My fato till sits in an oversize aluminum pan surrounded by little plastic packets of soy sauce. Auntie An-mei must    t Street. ton soup smells e sprigs of tro floating on top. Im dra to a large platter of c barbecued pork cut into -sized slices, and to a    of ries filled uffings t my moto describe as "nutritious t;

        Eating is not a gracious event s as tarving. to t more pieces of pork, er t like taiached delicacy.

        And t as quickly as tarted, t up and leave table. As if o last morsels and tes and boo tcake turual? I too put my plate in talking about trip, toment. e pass anot used to be tery ladders are still ted at table. Uncle Gee is dealing out cards, fast, as tec Pall Mall cigarettes, h one already dangling from his lips.

        And t to to play in t for t feels t soon iarroe c translut. Rose and I used to pluck t    our boy problems. Everyt nos in ter. Ao it is a floor lamp, a long black pole ligtac.

        Nobody says to me, "Sit o sit." But I    tell even before everyos do to tio it. But t really o do s able. it ell me, I kno.

        t is ion from whe wind es from.

        Auntie An-mei, , spills tiles onto t tabletop and to me, "No; e sion. to one another.

        "Do you ; asks Auntie Lin across from me. S smiling.

        "I only played a little in college ;

        "Anones. "Not t; t my moto say, altly why.

        "Maybe I s play tonig c; I offer.

        Auntie Lin looks exasperated, as t; table ie Yings o join. Your fats decided."

        "s t tell by    or just titude toward ese and Jewish people.

        "Entirely different kind of playing," sion voice. "Je;

        tco C;C play using your ricky. You must c everybody else t in yy. Youre just cakes."

        tions made me feel my mot languages, o her in English, she answered ba ese.

        "So ie Lin.

        "Aii-ya," s;Your mot teac;

        Auntie Ying pats my ;You a smart girl. You cack tiles and make four ;

        I folloie Ying, but mostly I cie Li, c s. Auntie Ying told t Auntie Lin     o play. Auntie Ying is tie An-mei is t. And tart taking tiles, ting ba to t number of spots iles, sequences of bamboo and balls, doubles of colored iles, odd tiles t do not fit anywhere.

        "Your mot, like a pro," says Auntie An-mei wing iles, sidering each piece carefully.

        Noo play, looking at    tiles, pig up ot an easy, fortable pace. ties begin to make small talk, not really listening to eac. Auntie Yiions s yarn at    in tie An-mei brags about a ser ser Rut;S it ore-boug; she says proudly.

        Auntie Lin explains    at a store clerk    urn a skirt ;I ;mad to deat;

        "But Lindo, you are still    die," teases Auntie Ying, and tie Lin says Pung! and Mailes out, laug Auntie Ying art    gro. Im getting bored and sleepy.

        "Oory," says Auntie Ying loudly, startling everybody. Auntie Ying ie, someone lost in o say, "Auntie Ying is not ening."

        "Police arrested Mrs. Emersons son last ; Auntie Ying says in a    sounds as if so be t ;Mrs. e at any tV set found in ;

        Auntie Lin quickly says, "Aii-ya, Mrs. Emerson good lady," meaning Mrs. Emerson didnt deserve sucerrible son. But no of Auntie An-mei, ed tolen car stereos. Auntie An-mei is rubbing ile carefully before discarding it. She looks pained.

        "Everybody Vs in C; says Auntie Lin, c. "Our family tV sets—not just blad- color ae! t o visit t    give it to us, but I t."

        Poor Auntie An-mei rubs iles ever elling me about trip to Cie An-mei o spend on cases. One s & Ced t    ce ure marsold me tai ridiculous clot California-style bea pants ic s, bomber jackets, Stanford sss, crew socks.

        My motold ;s t    money." But Auntie An-mei said ook to Cour finally arrived in o meet t    just Auntie An-meis little brot also epbrotepsisters, and a distant cousin, and t cousins     t lucky enougo ives to show off.

        As my motold it, "Auntie An-mei    for C standards. But    everyone    and s y ;

        My moted tss, tcases ied, tives asked .

        Auntie An-mei and Uncle Gee    for tVs and refrigerators but also for a nigy-six people in tel, for t tables at a restaurant t catered to rics for eacive, and finally, for a loan of five to a cousins so-called uncle o buy a motorcycle but rain pulled out of    day, ted of some er, after an inspiring Cmastime service at t Cist Cie Aried to recoup    truly o give to receive, and my motime friend    least several lifetimes.

        Listening noo Auntie Lin bragging about tues of    Auntie Lin is oblivious to Auntie An-meis pain. Is Auntie Lin being mean, or is it t my motold anybody but me tory of Auntie An-meis greedy family?

        "So, Jing-mei, you go to sc; says Auntie Lin.

        "; says Auntie Ying.

        "ts okay," I say, and I really mean it. In fact, its even being faso use their ese names.

        "Im not in sc; I say. "t en years ago."

        Auntie Lins eyebroer," s I kno about my being a failure, a "college drop-off," about my going back to finish.

        Once again I old my mot sed to ;Youre rigo it."

        I anding about t s really mean I    I ry to respect    listening to Auntie Lin tonigood one anotranslated eaco    ie Lin I o sco get a doctorate.

        Auntie Lin and my mot friends and arc a lifetime paring tie Lins prized daugime tons,    er,    averly    playing onted ies sed.

        I knoed listening to Auntie Lin talk about averly    first my motried to cultivate some ired piano teaco practi in exco bee a cert pianist, or even an apanist for t I e-blooming, like Einstein, arded until he discovered a bomb.

        No is Auntie Ying s and begin again.

        "Did you knoo oodside?" asks Auntie Ying    tiles, talking to no one in particular. Sries for some modesty. "Of course, its not best    million-dollar    yet. But its good iment. Better t. Better tting you uo rub you out."

        So noie Yings daugold    my beied from my apartment on loious about telling eaucill, tle o one anoten es ba anots talking in circles.

        "Its getting late," I say after    to stand up, but Auntie Lin puso the chair.

        "Stay, stay. e talk ao kno; s;Been a long time."

        I knoe gesture on ties part—a protest    as eager to see me go as I am to leave. "No, I really must go no; I say, glad I remembered ense goes.

        "But you must stay! e ant to tell you, from your mot; Auntie Ying blurts out in oo-loud voice. table, as if t eo break some sort of bad neo me.

        I sit doie An-mei leaves turns s, tly ss t, as if nobody knew wo begin.

        It is Auntie Ying ant t on ; sing Engliso speak in Cly.

        "Your m s o find ers in C;

        t ters. And no t of to be reclaimed. Somebody took t me forever, gone back to Co get tie Yings voice.

        "Steers bad fort; says Auntie Ying. "And last year s an address. So tell your fat a sime of ing."

        Auntie An-mei interrupts ed voice: "So your aunties and I, e to t; s;e say t a certain party, your mot to meet anotain party. And ty e back to us. ters, Jing-mei."

        My sisters, I repeat to myself, saying toget time.

        Auntie An-mei is    of paper as tissue. In perfectly straigical roten in blue fountain-pen ink. A ear? I take tter     my sisters must be to be able to read and e ese.

        ties are all smiling at me, as tie Ying is    to June oo for $1,200. I t believe it.

        "My sisters are sending me money?" I ask.

        "No, no," says Auntie Lin ed voice. "Every year    fancy restaurant. Most times your mot is    a little, so you    go ake a train to Sers. Besides, ting too ricoo fat." ss omach for proof.

        "See my sisters," I say numbly. I am a, trying to imagine    lie my aunties old to mask ty. I am g noime, seeing but not uanding ty to my mother.

        "You must see your sisters a your mot; says Auntie Ying. "But most important, you must tell t    kno no;

        "See my sisters, tell t my mot; I say, nodding. " ell t my mot kno;

        ties are looking at me as if I    before their eyes.

        "Not kno; cries Auntie An-mei ;;

        "tell tories of your family ; offers Auntie Lin.

        "tell tories sold you, lessons saug you kno    ; says Auntie Ying. "You mot lady."

        I ;tell tell t; as eacie frantically tries to t should be passed on.

        ";

        "ness."

        "iful nature to family."

        " matter to ;

        "t dis;

        "Imagine, a daug knowing ;

        And t occurs to me. tened. Iers, just as ignorant, just as unmindful of all trut to America. ters     mean to ters, t to t;joy luck" is not a    does . ters ing ion to geion.

        "I ell t; I say simply, and ties look at me ful faces.

        "I    ell t; I say more firmly. And gradually, one by o my ill look troubled, as if somet of balance. But t rue.    more    t more    I promise?

        to eating t boiled peanuts, saying stories among times in t and good times yet to e. A broter cry urns erest. A you son V repair business is so good overs to Cer . the lucky ones.

        And I am sitting at my mot table, on t, whings begin.
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