Ill tell you    me, t Martin o d up in    took test and t. Any    all Id done rain ride and one bus journey    asking Maureen about sexual positions. After Id seen dy, t didnt seem like suc rid of Martin, moved a someone else.    , but our past, I dont kno ill all over t every day okyo and    couldnt be exactly like t, because Rome is probably a cool place to live,    - just as cool as tokyo. Ao, and make faces at us. And Maureen and I rying to persuade dy to move out of o our dump     muow.

        As    know w s h.

        And ernoon all ter way.

        JJtrouble     fug idea of o o be     about ty-day t applied to me. As far as I could tell, I    loy days. I    going to be like giving up cigarettes. It o get . My first day    Burger King    be so bad, because Id tell myself, you knoually, I dont knoell myself, but Id t by tiet try talking to me on my tieth anniversary of burger-flipping.

        Ill be real grouc day. And Ill be sixty-one years old.

        And tuff and up, mentally speaking, and say, OK, fuck it, Im going to kill myself. And tly t, and Id sit doruly terrible, ood up in t place. Self-. I couldnt o a free drink.

        t time    up, Jess told us all t so see dy out in tryside.

        My ex-in. te and reading telegrap really listening to anyto say.

        Yeas a ce, said Jess.

        Martin tio sip his coffee.

        Der, said Jess.

        Martin put telegrap her.

        ? It was your dy, you doug.

        Martin looked at her.

        Youve never met my dy. Ex-my dy. My ex.

        ts o you. Maureen and I    doo talk to her.

        torley h, said Maureen.

        ts win, sdalized.

        Jess sighed.

        You    to see dy? Jess picked up elegraparted leafing t, kind of a spoof o. Martin snatche paper away from her.

        t for? e t it might help.

        doo ask ake you back. But s. Sed. Isnt so stare at her own shoes.

        Martin stared at Jess.

        Are you insane? y did you do t? On y. Free try.

        And o tears and said, you kno;Id love o e back"? I old you.

        But… tering noises, and topped. Jesus C.

        Any. S bastard.

        If youd ever listeo anyt my ex- sake me back? You t Id go back? Jess s ry.

        You, said Martin. Maureen. t me.

        You     was her idea, said Jess.

        So youre an even bigger fool than she is.

        e all need    all kno.

        Youve all ed to    t    way.

        say anything, so I did.

        So ry to make somet didive is. A big fat fug nothing.

        So    back, JJ? Jess asked.

        Everythe band. Lizzie.

        ts stupid. t rubbis not… you know.

        I nodded. I knew.

        And Lizzie packed you in.

        I koo.    I didnt say, because it souoo fug lame,    if it o reo t fe feill playing music, I ill seeing    anyto plain about, righing was dying.

        But it    dead.

        I dont kno ing, saying ed, even if you couldnt . ed t iy guy for Maureen, Id put limits on    ical assistance Maureen needed. And as it turned out, sion, and urned out to be a guy    if t, t to find out all kinds of ot, like, I dont knos    place. e all spend so mucime not saying , because    . And because it sounds ungracious, rateful, or disloyal, or ce to pretend t t fessing to ourselves t looks like a bad move. Go on, say . Maybe not out loud, if its going to get you into trouble. I    is, say it to yourself. trut you free. Eit or itll get you a puncever life youre living means lying, and lying corrodes take a break from t for one minute.

        I    my band back, I said. And my girl. I    my band bad my girl back.

        Jess looked at me. You just said t.

        I    said it often enoug my band bad my girl back. I ANt MY BAND BAD MY GIRL BACK.    do you , Martin? ood up. I    anot be suc do you ? And    do me if I tell you? I dont kno, and well see w we see.

        down.

        You got three wishes, I said.

        OK. I wiso make my marriage work.

        Yea o    keep your pri your trousers. Sorry, Maureen.

        Martin ignored her.

        And of course I    girl.

        Yeah, well… said Jess.

        S up, I said.

        I dont knoin. Maybe I just    su arsehole.

        t    so ? I    no one laughed.

        you just     a? said Jess. ts    makes you look good.

        t ? Id still be an arseill get caughing else.

        ell,     caughing ever?

        one    are you talking about? Somet eating a cake?    aing it? Jess looked kind of doubtful. Are you sure ts it?    a cake     in t place? tin, is t you get it bot t it someouc;; ;keep".

        ts mental.

        Indeed.

        ? You t. he expression.

        And    of t going to eat it? ere kind of getting off t    is to s to be, you kno person.

        I wish Jen would e back, said Jess.

        Yea.    else?    Nots it.

        Martin snorted. You dont wis be.

        Or less mad?     Im not mad. Just, you know. fused.

        tful silence. You could tell t not everyone around table was vinced.

        So youre just gowo wishes? I said.

        No. I    use ting supply of bloo play the piano, I suppose.

        Martin sig. ts t? You t play time to play the piano.

        e left it there.

        you, Maureen? I told you before. ony could only arrahings.

        tell everyone else.

        I y.

        You    do better t, t you? said Jess.

        e winced.

        youd say. Cos you could    .

        Maureen    for a minute.

        know who Id be.

        Youd still be Maureen, you stupid old trout.

        ts not ake ahen, you know...

        No, I dont fug know, said Jess.

        If Jen    o you, and, and all t? Exactly. Events of t magnitude. ell, w.

        Exactly.

        td be fug excellent.

        e stopped playing then.

        It eo be ture, I ts t it? tany o be ear and a self. In my day, people got s at ter learning only t life is is.

        It    ter tion in Starbucks. Someo keep rap s - an impressive ac for someone eco describe everyt s entator. Looking ba it, it is true t shere was a game.

        Oernoon,    back to see Matty, Jess stifled a giggle and observed enigmatically t shed see him soon enough.

        Maureen looked at her.

        Ill be seeing y minutes if Im lucky he bus, she said.

        Yea after t, said Jess.

        Soon enoug after t? I said.

        Yeah.

        I see    minutes of every day, said Maureen.

        And    all about it, just as    all about so muc Jess said.

        Perer, sarted to so cealed i in Lizzie, JJs ex-girlfriend.

        here does Lizzie live? she asked JJ.

        Kings Cross. And before you say anyt a hooker.

        is s messing around.

        Yeaotally excellent joke.

        So    a    telling you    to talk to upid old slapper.

        ire life.

        s t he prie? Sorry, Maureen.

        "Metap;, I said. ely t tapitled to itled to wonder w all.

        Exactly. Sap out h someone else.

        Yea sure t dumping me ns a person to eternal celibacy.

        And to a discussion about te punis for our exes,    passed, like so many moments in t us notig. But it ed to rootle around in treeenage bedroom of Jesss mind.

        On tself, I    it o be a big day.

        ous enoug spoken to o-face since Id e out of prison.

        ed to talk to me because antial offer from a reputable publisobiography.

        talking money yet.

        May I ask, t    could be described as substantial? ell. You kno ance.

        does t mean? Its real, not imaginary.

        And ;real" mean, ierms? Really? Youre being very difficult, Martin. If you dont mind me saying so. Youre not my easiest t at t of times, ually been e .

        I arily distracted by tion t tra. e ing in a restaurant called Farm, and everyting came from a farm. Brilliant, e! Potatoes! Green salad!    a cept! I suppose tra tle s on inspiration. I o report t tresses hin, pale and dressed in black.

        But obiograpantial     it.

        Rigerested? they phoned back.

        itantial offer.

        theo smiled desdingly.

        You dont really kno really. Only old me over t people antial offers. ts wly.

        e mustnt run before we    walk.

        to annoy me.

        OK. Agreed. Just tell me t.

        No, you see… Even t is running. Its more, you knoactical t.

        Asking you to tell me about ly softly catchee monkey.

        Jesus C, theo.

        And t sort of rea isnt softly softly, if I may say so. ts noisy noisy. tetcetchy, even.

        I o    t of the lunch.

        Jess raordinary meeting for four oclock, in t and invariably empty basement of tarbucks in Upper Street, one of t of sofas and tables t ly like your living room, if your living room    of paper cups t you hrew away.

        ? I asked her when she phoned me.

        Because Ive got private to talk about.

        sort of private things.

        Oo be t t private sexual t to tell you? I was .

        Yeaasies about you all time.

        Ill see you later, OK? I got a number    bus from t End to Upper Street, because t. ed got ts and pieoney    form of transport, because take you o go for free, and its not until you get t money is needed, I decided t inflig my poverty on a cabbie    suc certainly spend talking about tion, perfectly normal to    to do,    foing out looking like t and so on. I ime no of Londons inants as ts geograp reized ted to read me a relevant and apparently redemptive passage in the Bible.

        As I approacarbucks, a youngis aely    doairs. Initially I    meant t Jesss sexual revelations ed sotto voce, if at all; but tea latte, I realized t t no subarrassment; and my stomacarted to do    urned forty. It doesnt cs for sure. Old stomac cs more as if one side of tomague, and ttery. And at moments of tension toucrous sequences.

        t person I sa ttom of tairs ty, in o Maureen. And as I rying to    ty to Starbucks, ting to instantaneously realize t ters. I picked tried not to    me, and dy    a table in t     smiling at me. JJ anding o be akably ter. Sall, expensively dressed and disfigured by a    clearly bore ion to anyt be feeling, a real ele nig ts of red string t Madonna e all appearao trary, sual ic, I    ogeto see er, but I c t and a jacket, and for once you o get up quite close to bee scared by her eye make-up.

        I put to to Penny on t so t s feel left out.

        o kiss dy on tly out of the way.

        brings you hen? I said.

        to t might help in some way.

        Oed. I got t so snort    sn o be ion, so I k doo talk to the children.

        Jess clapped ogetepped into tre of the room.

        I read about ter, ss called an intervention.

        t all time in America.

        All time, JJ sed. Its all we do.

        See, if someone is fucked… messed up s or drink or ever, all gatoget    in. Sorry Maureen. Sorry Mum and Dad, sorry little girls. t of different. In America, t, Ive fotten te I was on eve.

        S of    and pulled out a piece of paper.

        A facilitator. Youre supposed to ator, and    one. I didnt kno knoervention is sort of to interves us ing to you, rato us. ere saying to you, we need your help.

        ty started to look a little unfortable at t, and Jess noticed.

        Not you guys, s o do anyto tell you truto bump up Maureens numbers, cos,    anybody,    you tty ter t anding there on your own.

        You o    to Jess. Once s a to let it go. Maureen attempted a grateful smile.

        Any sos you know we Ed, wo be in h him.

        Eds flo my mum and dad, and its not often youll catcogetins got ers, and    ex, w have his wife bad his girlfriend back.

        Everyone laug dy, and topped laug laughing would have sequences.

        And Maureens got ty time talking to our people, tle catcalk to some ots a cross bets evening, cos t of sit in a er, ing for people to visit them.

        for? I dont kno for a laug    eac ourselves? t again,    rue t I    t I ely not    factual. So I could tell Ed t o play in, and I could tell tons ter; it seemed to me u ting, however.

        And any from times tables,     and ter? I    Ive learned not to sleep een-year-olds, but I lear a long time ago - decades before I actually slept een-year-old. t sold me seen. So,    to sleep een-year-olds, or attractive young    just about everyone Ive ever intervie by doing sometain, playing t of a serial killer in a movie - t themselves.

        And I alfully, o pin t did you learn from tually? t you dont like being sick? t you dont    to die? t ch?

        e on, be specific I suspect its sometell to turn to somet mige and utter e of time.

        In t feo prison, lost every last molecule of self-respect, bee estranged from my c very seriously about killing myself. I mean, t little lot    to be t of cer, rigs certainly a bigger deal ting in a bloody film. So ely bugger all?    o learn? true, I    I e attay self-esteem, a its passing. Also, Ive found out t prison and poverty arent really me. But, you kno boteral-minded, but I suspect people mig t get cer. time, and a lot more energy.

        So, Jess    on. o go    moment, several Frenage punks appeared in our midst, carrying coffee mugs. ty table o Mattys wheelchair.

        Oi, said Jess. airs, all of you.

        tared at her.

        e on,    all day. ement.

        Soairs, and a, unplainingly; Jess    anotive of an inprery. I sat do my ex-able, and o    of all-purpose croy gesture, some kind of cross bet getting a drink and Ill give you a ring, tle bit of    ely, I rubbed my oget of all tritious self-kno to tuto.

        MAUREEN    I didnt to be very muco say. I mean, t really anyto Matty. But I didnt to say to te ed a cup of tea, but t; and t ting Matty doairs, and t ,     en of me, and tood t eae, tralia and    t Matty used to    ttle gat. It    occurred to me t t know.

        Ive been trying to    out, but Im clueless.

        Yes, I said. ell. It must be very fusing.

        So e on, t us out of our misery. Steve    moroubles.

        Some of us .

        Ive never o    money, really. I get my carers allo me a little bit anyway. And if you never go anywhing, life is cheap.

        But youve got troubles, said the square one.

        Yes,    troubles, I said. But t troubles.

        Yea troubles, said tepV.

        Yes,    troubles, I said.

        So    imagine you go to tclubs.

        And I ended up telling t mean to. It just sort of came out. And once Id started, it dido matter muc Id told t to tory, I realized I s    it, and said    kind of thing.

        You    tell t tre, will you? I said.

        ell t t Id been planning to leave Matty    refuse to take    t ake hinking of jumping off a roof somewhere.

        So re in te o if I o do a one.

        Its not t     to knos not t     our tre to be stuck ty. Its just t     to feel t every time you call us up, youre in trouble.

        I dont kno really kno to call t like     people feeling sorry for me, you see. I ed to    saying t t    doesnt sound too Iris t Jess er oget expect me to get anyty couldnt     tes tter about something.

        Stepcs, to see ting on. JJ , because    really started fig. Martin and cers dreure, and Jess and s    t t every no somet never seemed to be anyt would oucupid bloody earrings.

        Everyone in t, and Martin and JJ and I looked at eacuation     to judge, but it    earrings    of Jesss problem.

        I felt sorry for Penny, ting oo e to my er.

        Im sure youve got plenty to talk about over there, she said.

        No, I said. ere done, really.

        ell, youve got t-looking calking about Stepall nurse, and     I    noticed, but I dont really t t any more.

        So e on over and talk to o meet you, I said. I didnt kno    if youve got noto do but stand beside a boy in a    a pretty    take muc for it, because I didnt really do anyt from say    it    so muco talk to Stephen.

        Everyone seemed to be ime except for me. I    time. And t    fair, because Id spent ages anizing t intervention parents eveni and got o manage JJs band. And ayed up until like t old old    too. And ts    ime job for a    out of it? Fuck all.    talking to my fug fat all? I talk to t did I tty and Penny and all tarbucks? I suppose Id    t listen, especially    toget    t t as    and asked to adopt me or wever.

        ere never going tet about talking about t like , and    old ouc all t fe for to tell us table. Mum res s and sat on t, and     t sograp, and sill see t to ay coffee cup and some paperback or otarted to sort of drift back to    it. But ly is money, off of t t t Camden Market for like five quid.

        I dont kno being all self-pitiful or wever.

        But parents must e kids, rig?    prefer Kylie to time, did    scalked to Dad about sical t of treasure Minister or ake t for insta     al afternoon. I really    been giving it large. A before I    urning t door, so I kne ing to toilet, rigcreasure bloke, and I tried to make t. Falafel and Breezers every o do    because s drink or smoke blo kno o talk, and no one knoo say.

        After    do you ? So I    you listen to anyt,    o be listening to? And I    mean?    are o do t    do?
请记住本书首发域名：966xs.com。966小说手机版阅读网址：wap.966xs.com