And because of ed to talk about personal t here.

        Martin s drink up and go, and ood up. But Captain Coffee , s tter noo e versation, and ood pletely, and side until e, for reasons I t go into. And    didnt matter, ill    outside unless anyone else came. And ts arbucks for our coffee meetings. It rate on    tside c    stealing s, or biscotties as    places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all t, but s ?

        Id be lost, if JJ and people like t got to kno t o go into small plaers, small booksaurants and cafes. Im    in tore and Borders and Starbucks and Pizza Express, .

        t a lot in America, read books and talk about tin reed it    Id never , so it t be t     fas it in Dazed and fused. t of it o talk about Somet of t get into ro arbucks usually ended up. And o read books by people    heir heads.

        Martin said        about staying alive, not    about topping yourself. But it turned out ters ook tion, and    for ted on using funds from our media appearao buy ourselves the books.

        Any turned out not to be tion at all. Fug ry auff by people ed    a lig I read enougo knoeo see t. I sort of identify , because I suffer from t sometimes, but ake o go public . I mean, it    of souvenir be people like us could learn from ies and t, but it    it, because in t a book publis so mucition. So you could marco a publis tand you. try pilates or salsa dang instead.

        JJ    it , so I     like it.    because your daddy reads books? Is t    read books, bad luck, and I told    because you didnt go to sc , arent t alloo say anyt books because t like t muc    o o our reading group    I , and upid as to expeyt going to , Ill say so. And , Yea yonna say t, arent you, because youre so fug trary, sorry Maureen. And I said, Yea, because youre sud    to be talking about in th, Primo Levi, hemingway.

        So I said, ell    of doing t? s fun about t? And s not Pop Idol, man. You dont vote for t o t, and alk about to go by, I dont accept t. In fact I no te. And JJ got really    t, and tin stepped in and    to do any more books for a ead. Maureen    Cobain,    you believe it?

        I do t, but I do. Its just t my    from everyone elses. Before I to get angry and maybe a bit violent,    toug. Any nig about JJ, and hem.

        And its true    , not really, alto pretend t he does.

        Jen    they scared me.

        they scare me even more now.

        did to ening only to to no one else - not    er, no one? I got out of bed and    into    exactly as it . (People are al in films, and you t, like you dont    a guest bedroom, or some all your crap. But yoing in t ory, Catco Kill a Mogbird, tc, because t ed us to read), Crime and Punis, , Good Places to Go    to Disappear… t    a joke, t last one.

        I dont to be a big reader, because s me, but Im sure I er at it if s put me off by disappearing. It    t time Id been in     be t, I k me, and    is kno one of t o uand. I do Ill find some sentence s    ion mark by texas. I just mean t if I read everyt took tention in t fe some picture of    even knoo find     out,    you, sidering as hing.

        But I dont. I t. I t because Im too lazy, too stupid, and I t even make t because sometops me. t sit t me, day after day, and one day I kno them.

        So, no, Im not a big reader.

        JJ Our cultural program    books out of t s read stuff alk about, if you ko talk about    a big fan of Literature.    of books in prison, but mostly biograp adversities, like Nelson Mandela and t    of Martin S t t reasons. And, believe me, you dont    to kno of books. Youd find it offensive.

        S about me, t be? Ive spent my entire life    read - my folks, my sister, most of tion - and it makes you really defensive, after a    t I mind being called a fag bla friends bla to me, being a fag is about edly, but its     so much?

        Sure, I could be pretty anti-social able in a    Ameri Pastoral isnt.

        Eddie . It elling    I . And like a marriage, toget got; but no I t it, toget. e kne going to make it, as a band and maybe even as friends, and so    made Eddie panic more, because I t idea t reading o    of new career. Yeas ens in life.

        be a cool guy. ising agency. e spent all talking about tuff ig all t, and it broke bots.

        And all t is a long-ass    Jess.

        Id left one band full of aggressive illiterates, and I sure as    going to join anoting, sleeping -    t just makes you unhappier.

        And for some reason, I t music o be easier, . I only    ied in books, but I got my    I couldnt go    t s like    go, and poured to a little tiny bottle and corked it up. And s to play and sing, akes t, and you    smell it. Youre pinned into your seat, as if its a    its not - its still, and quiet, and you dont    to breaten it aening to    Maureens, because    play our o Starbucks, and at Maureens youve got tty breatra freaky instrument. So I ting to chese peoples lives for ever.

        At t song, Jess started putting    and making faces.

        But    or something.

        t to be an insult: I    t poets ures you migestine.

        I dont mind it, said Martin. I    , if he laying in a wine bar.

        I would, said Jess.

        I o punc simultaneously, but rejected t it oo quickly, and t be enoug to keep on pummeli a time. Its music rage, iny part of you kno    ts these people dead.

        And to Five Leaves Left weird.

        got ears? Maureen said suddenly. t you iful     me.

        part, like a little kid, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah.

        Dont pretend to be more foolishan you are, Jess, said Maureen.

        Because youre foolis is. Seamed. Soo. Just listen to , and stop blathering.

        And Jess could see t s it, and s up, and eo t of t Maureen closely you could see ening a little.

        eey-four. y-six.

        ty-six. S for a moment, tful, and I ive    sra years. You    people to respond, but sometimes t, you know?

        People dont    to , do they? she said.

        No one said anyt sure w.

        t    to kno. t to kno Im feeling om Jones makes you feel. Or t Australian girl    play    are sad dont fit in.

        ed never alk like t even kno to stop her.

        Its funny, because people ts Matty t stops me fitting in. But Mattys not so bad. … Its tty makes me feel t stops me fitting in. You get t of everyto guess all time    it    puts people off. Im tired of it.

        And so suddenly Maureen , and because s too, and I ed to say t to her. You need a holiday.

        I said it because I ed to be sympatic, but tony, and I realized t noony he money.

        about t? ? I said. Lets all take Maureen on in burst out laughing.

        Yea, said Jess.    are eers for like an old folks    old, I said. y-one, she said.

        OK, not an old folks home. A b folks home.

        And    fasating person on t? Martin said.

        I dont look like t, for a start. Any you    unnoticed, amid all ter and tarted to cry.

        Im sorry, Maureen, said Martin. I    being ungallant. I just couldnt imagiing around a swimming pool on our sun loungers.

        No, no, said Maureen. I took no offense. Not mucs to go on s fine. I just got a bit ed it. Its been a long… Nobodys… I … It    nice of s all.

        Oin quietly. No t ty ood.    Marti by Oext, if I    explain an obsity y, is t    kind of asso say to Maureen, you kno t ts. s enough for you.

        And like five days later o tenerife.

        It    mine. I did I    to decide, not really, even ter of to me. I ed t place, to JJ,    iy, so I didnt t e on it. I t I did is, I abstained.

        It    as if t, t.

        te     t,    ter to go noines Day. For a moment t il Martin pointed out t to cover Mattys time in tre as well.

        Lets go    Maureen, t, for a moment, until it turned out she was joking.

        I t remember t time I    because I    because I    people to feel sorry for me; its just t it range feeling.    it    even alloo t t it o anything.

        It    up to t point, o eac ory, sidering . Youd tory of four people ed to her.

        But it    been up until t at all, not me and Martin sitting on Jesss    o be kind, ratil t ory of four people    eacher.

        them swore, anyway.

        I tle sobbing    embarrassed everyone, myself included.

        F— s only a s just beac.

        I ed to tell Jess t I    even seen an Englisty left sco take t    say anyt kno of many t I could feel t of t one, so I kept it to myself. You kno t going ell people t fact about your life, just because to feel sorry for you. I suppose its ell t ends up making terrible.

        I    to describe every moment of t seemed so exg, but t ake, too. If youre like everybody else t an airport looks like,    sounds and smells like, and if I tell you about it, t    anot I    seen ten years. Id got a one-year passport from t office, and even t caused too mut, because I sa a big traveler. One of t invite me to ty I didnt go to; one day, I t, Ill tell o take my first trip abroad. Id really o kno, though.

        You probably kno you sit in a ro me sit in t, because tin sat in t o    fees. After a little    tio    ts ting and carrying on. Anot terrible noise imes t knoomaed to er, and Martin o alk to me.

        And you probably also kno , you t    t til    teful to God for providing t o uand tter, and so you end up in a terrible muddle and needing to talk to a priest. I decided I    sit in t on t kno people .

        Not ty    felt t strange.

        But I also eness of it, so it probably    at all like missing a leg, because I dont suppose people ness of it very muco say t it    Matty, but its muove around    it? So maybe it ruto     say t being on t Matty    a t, and it    in t aken off. I missed    o die, and I    said goodbye to hen.

        e didnt fall out on t nigel s and bat been expeg. And    poured into torrent of er t dam, and it nearly knocked me over. My knees buckled for a moment, and I o lean against too, but it    fierd strong, like t; it just sat quiet and blue, and made tiny little murmuring noises.

        Some people    see t to, I t, but to stop t because it ed to t. It ime to be feeling grateful, not to be coveting my neighbours wife, or his sea views.

        e ate in a seafroaurant not far from tel. I e squid and lobster, and Jess    tell you en out in a restaurant, or    to do t.

        I didnt even try to tell t for myself, and ko carry. A it    all, apart from took it franted.

        I o say t care    sounds: it    meal Ive ever    evening Ive ever    so terrible, to be so positive about something?
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