Before summer ed pletely, life in t came to an end in a imagined. One day Goldmund t, e or some ot far aime to time of , or ole a fe enderly, ioned autumn and ture. S s s and s let oo. Ill try to get back to ty er Niklaus. Ill spe spring Ill buy myself a ne must be ten years since I last saw see wo.
An unfamiliar sound roused s, and suddenly all s and desires ently. ted itself; , irritated t s ress. er, still some pity and inued. o see ely torn, screaming and ling rying to rape -up anger, lessness, in a ttacker. ried to pio ts ranger . It felt tringy, covered until t go of ttling ed, o a feruding from ted man, imes in t till not fully vented; o maher.
Radiant, Le and cs rembling all over and panting, but soget and admiration scruder ttling orted, t beard and tifully to one side. triump Le up and fell against Goldmunds , but suddenly surned pale. Frigill in sick. Exed, so t soon so o t s; oh.
ture excited Robert enormously. ly ails of t. "You broke ! Goldmund, you are a terrifying man."
But Goldmund did not feel like talking about it any more; ing Viktor o o s Robert up, ;No rid of ts too difficult to dig a , t over to t up ones a; But Robert turned doed no erce ied he plague.
Lene e in , but soon s better, got up again, made a fire and cooked t Goldmu o bed early. Sion for aciturn; Robert realized it a er Goldmund to bed. Listening, over Lene. Sless; tor, felt anguiso move on; playing o an end. Oicularly pensive. Lenes look ossed range look. it: pride and triumped from ed eyes, a deep passionate desire to participate in to kill. in a been for t look, , ten Lenes fae day, after a number of years. It -girl face large, beautiful, and experienced anyt made ;One ougo dra!" t look o quiver terror.
sleep, and finally up and outside. It one, dros and deep sadness. sorry for Viktor and for today. ted t innoce, t cy of er, left Narcissus, offended Master Niklaus and renounced beautiful Lisbeto camp in track stray cattle, and kill t poor felloones? Did all t greigempt. ared into t clouds, and as ared, s stopped; knoo t as one, a large pale face appeared like far-a looked suddenly its eyes opened and murder. Goldmund slept until the dew fell on him.
t day Lene ay in bed, for to be done: in t ted until t one of ted. Le very sick. Goldmund examined it secret, but Robert became suspicious recovered. stay in t. side, ake t along too: get ied.
"Go to ; Goldmund yelled at ;I dont to see you ever again." and pulled o ition. Robert disappeared a t. . o t.
Goldmund said to Lene: "Ill stay ;
She shook her head.
"Be careful, love. Dont catcoo; you mustnt e so close to me. Dont try so o e. Im going to die, and Id raty one m because you me. Ive t of it every m and been afraid of it. No, Id rat;
In tremely ime to time and napped a little i, looked so ed and flabby. For a moment epped outside to get some air and look at t red fir trunks at t s rays of sun; tasted fres; tant ill seps, stretcired legs, and breatiful t ime to say goodbye.
Robert called to . as ster? If it tay. Goldmund s be angry cime.
"Go to ; Goldmund sed over to ;Lene is dying, and I too am ied."
t to get rid of Robert. be a Goldmund oo coty; eful, s vanis return. tly.
o Lene, soo fell asleep once more, and in iful ut tree at ter; as t aiful ely remote, deserted region, and o up on so no one. Sammering tle laugo again. Goldmund got up a over ter curiosity raced t t and muddying. Dear Lene, called , dear s coo already to leave me? have you already had enough of me?
o run ao ired, see ne o lie tside every feo breat imes outside, for it to feed and drink er and move around. Once more ood at Lenes bed, murmured tender o ared incessantly i atteo cimes s, and ing grandmot on ;Goldmund," or "lover," and tried to ongue; opped and a s ily at t. en pitied in t: t t inguiser and life. For a out and sat do and o t a. After straying a s dista lay do, s flank, and slept until t. t into t for t time, stepped be time at t did not feel rigo o let t out, filled into t. truck fire. From t ook not t. In an instant tly. ood outside and cil t beams cras jumped to kill t a piece of it a it, tt bring o kill t; off into to t. Never before so dissolate setting out on a journey.
A lay in store for began farms and villages and tio groerrible as land lay under a cloud of deaty arved on tting, ttered unburied corpses, ts at ty gates t. t o t e, dreadful ts y corpses unburied or, folloore t and tossed ts. Frigives alourned primitive, avoiding all tact ogeted, terrified lust for life, drinking and dang and fornig side cemeteries, u, m or cursing, outside ty of all, everybody looked for a scapegoat for oionally caused it. Grinning, evil people, t on spreadirag t on tle . ed of t, unless o flee: eito deators. Ioc o ives bato ty of fear and bitterness, i people ortured everyroyed and poisoo be no more joy, no more innoo more love oes of te dancers. Everys sound. Often icipated in mad ies, played te or das in t torches.
afraid. tasted t er nigors fingers clutc , and later in t , against omaced body, , no one could figo let it rage and give in. Goldmund seemed as terested in life, since Lene be, sied by deat enormous curiosity drove igable, g to transitory. go out of t passion to participate, to e moldy bread iy ts, plucked t-ing flo, looked into tares of to tupid eyes of to te, feverise of soup, t s song, and Goldmund h burning passion.
er Niklauss city; ts ed by to t gloh eager senses.
In a cloister ly painted fresco. o look at it for a long time. A dance of deated on a of life, king and bis and earl, knigor, peasant, la—everyone ook along on musis played on ing. An unknoer lesson of table end so everyones ear. It ure, and a good sermo ratly ecure. A ion to die t ed ern and merciless end. But Goldmund sound, not bony and severe, but s rative, motit to e o life, t only s also deep and loving, autumnal, satiated, ttle lamp of life glo to ot be a o ress; its call ing call, its toucer looking at ted deat drao ter and to everyrils y or curiosity claimed ara ra day. For t boy arved midget of five or six rid of. Finally a peat diggers ook ted to tle life in terless dog apanied e out of , but one m it too strayed off. Goldmund o speaking to tful versations tence of God, about art, about ts and s very young daugurally grorifle mad during rifle mad, and many ely insane. Perrifle insane—a beautiful dark girl two days.
side a small to remely beautiful, and and talked to ing t beauty. So aseen otoies. So flee but urned in desperation and ly o ing alked to ly, murmured sympatically, and protectively offered o ill o ed to er soo, slept a little, and in tsold s stay alone like t be reized as a Jeed y elligent eyelids and graceful so be devoured by animals or bur take. Dark-faced, seo o cer ue.
"Rebekka," ;t you see t I dont mean you any to l tomorroer, or later, Ill ask you again. Until tect you and bring you food and I touc. You so be sad brings you joy."
But o t to do anyt brougterly and angrily. Sed to do e ter. alked too much.
"You," ;dont you see t deat people are dying in every o everytupid people is t of too muc us too, and in t us live a little before it es to t ao eac ! Dear beautiful girl, do e touc to see you and take care of you."
ime. Suddenly ood o court s. and looked at aut ion.
"ts ; sred and pt. "ts ians are! First you er bury fingernail oget is doer must belong to you and go off I t per ;
As sred, somet touc deep to . to die but to die, to be alloo die, to ther.
"Rebekka," ly, "per. I am not a good person, alt ood you."
o o a tess, and ; o let ime like speaking to no one. As little as t proud Je for a o ter Rebekka.
of ts of ty of io joy and flo o dying. O ts so t;pigs" and rot in to save suued to live in error and delig tatues. Orai o e to ly, to let t, to vert to lasting images! ill open and ill curious, but no longing for paper and crayon, for clay and wood, for workroom and work.
Summer tumn or ter. It umn gaiety. Goldmund passed regions in o t. It fell off trees and rotted in t oties came to pillage, brutally robbing and squandering.
Sloretcimes seized be caug table. ed to die, not before tasting tanding once more in a ion. For t time in oo ty toice o stay; no pretty peasant girl retain .
At one point s portal stood many stone figures in deep niced by oral small ns: very old figures of angels, disciples, and martyrs, like times. In er in Mariabronn t, t passion; tiful and digo a little too solemn and stiff and old-faser, after ed by Master Niklauss s sad madonna at t long journey, one figures too tain pt and ers neype of art muse, and animated. N from a adventures and experiences, filled algia for sciousness and neion, oucraordinary porict, a figures. Reverently ood before t of long-past days tio live on, in er turies, ts of long-since-vanisions, frozen to stone, offered resistao time. A feeling of admiration rose , and of ed, burned-up life. done for an infinitely long time. o a fessional to fess and be punished.
t no priests. tal, or tamination. ty. Goldmunds steps ee vault. before ay fessional, closed o t;Dear God, see and little remains. I olen, I en te us t your c die for us? Are ts and ao guide us? Or are tty, ied stories t ell to c o doubt you, Lord. You ed t in bad order. I reets littered ter ttle; I people suffer and die, and many a y. ely fotten and abandoned us, are you pletely disgusted ion, do you us all to peris;
itepped out tal and sa statues, angels and saints stand all in tiffly folded goed by trid deaf tood to any request or question. Ae solation, a triump victory over deatood in ty ay, surviving one dying geion of men after anotiful Rebekka soo, and poor Lene er Niklaus! One day tand up t t meant love and torture to oday, fear and passion, and before later geions, nameless, ory, silent symbols of human life.
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