idoood as if stunned in tillness of t in    my mind    almost . it even a co grieve properly over my Enisly returned     me: as Sasies of a blissful marriage stubbornly played before my eyes.

        After making versatiated me at t door as to    to my room and removed ty-tian gold pieces from ttress, plag trembling fingers. uro treet, I kneely I’d see Seary, troubled eyes for t of the day.

        I    Lions at a perpetually smiling Jewis, deep in

        t, I e to mention because I’m not fond of it: Yakutlar,    treets almost running, a tall plaree seemed to reproace , as ted, a street fountain o my ear: “Don’t take matters too seriously, see to your oed an ill-omened black cat lig    everybody, yourself included, suspects you had a hand in your uncle’s murder.”

        t left off lig    sigs bec o tell you anbul cats get whem.

        I found tually sleepy look, not at    in tyard of te a trivial legal questioo testify in court?” I raised my eyebroeo y ans time. “Bearing ness is optional if otnesses are present,” explai, in situations    is t one bear ness.”

        “t’s just t I find myself in noaking up tion. “In a situation everyone kno, all tnesses ies and avoided going to court    ”it’s only voluntary,“ and as a result trying to ely disregarded.”

        “ell,” said t you loosen your purse-strings a little more?”

        I took out my pou gold pieces yard, ted by t my dilemma .

        I explained o be instituted.”

        I didn’t even o mention tood at ond said tire neigroubled over te of    tuatiooo long. Instead of searess required for a legal separation at ted o offer an additional gold piece to t of Surn. After all, for only tness. e immediately agreed. t to fetcher.

        t of our day rat-and-mouse” stories t I’d corytellers in Aleppo coffee out. Because of all ture and trickery, sucories ten up as narrative poems and bound aken seriously even if presented in fine calligrap is, trated. I, on te pleased to divide our daylong adveo four ses, imagining eacrated pages of my mind.

        In t se, turist ougo depict us amid mustaco ter. Meanare deep into ters of ter m, on guard for an ominous sign s currents. I’m afraid, for example, t I mige ster urist colors t to include somet to tense as my dreams of errifying-looking fiser so ture    assume all is rosy.

        Our sed picture ougo sans, tings of tate, tion of European ambassadors, aailed and carefully posed croeriors of a subtlety    is, ture ougo partake of playful tricks and irony. tly makes an open-” gesture indig “never” or “no” to my bribe,    to be sing my Veian gold s, and timate result of ted in ture: Saneous depi of sequential events could only be acelligent miniaturist’s ing facility in page position. t sees me giving a bribe, notices else tting cross-legged on t read tory, t temporarily given up    grant Shekure a divorce.

        tration s time tation syle, tricate and dense, and colorful clouds sory mig. tually testified separately before tration toget returned from e of destitution    a o look after ually in tears and    for remarriage because sill sidered married, and ate s even receive a loan    permission from    even a man as deaf as a stone    ears. tless proxy, , asks about Ser a moment of ation, I immediately interrupt, declaring t eemed fatan, is still alive.

        “Until estifies in court, I’ll never grant he proxy.

        tered, I explained e Effendi ruggling for    o see er divorced, and ative.

        “ does s    to see er divorced from    en, I’d uand if truste for son-in-la pass ah his wish unfulfilled.”

        “t, sir,” I said.

        “ t be?”

        “It is I!”

        “e noative!” said t line of work are you in?”

        “In tern provinces, I served as secretary, cary and assistant treasurer to various pased a ory of t I io present to Our Sultan. I’m a oisseur of illustrating and decoration. I’ve been burning y years.”

        “Are you a relative of hers?”

        I    ly and uedly into groveling meekness before t    devoid of any mystery, t I fell pletely silent.

        “Instead of turni red, give me an ans I refuse to grant her a divorce.”

        “Ser of my maternal aunt.”

        “o make her happy?”

        iourist s t’d be enougo show how much I blushed.

        “I make a det living.”

        “As I belong to t, trary to ting tu for four years,”

        said t t s surn.”

        t illustration, t is, t to depict t armies of blak letters, before presenting me    declaring t my Sacle to e remarriage. ing troom red, nor by situating ture    at t moment be expressed. Running baesses and oters, daugs, I set out on my return journey.

        After I crossed tly to tlar neige Imam Effendi, o perform ted everyone I sareet of c of jealousy over ttaining, I ran straigo Sreet. aken to edly on terra-cotta s because I    been able to grieve for my Enisear; even so, I kers and door of te tree t everything roceeding as planned.

        I ing intuitively in a great e. I tossed a sto tyard gate but missed! I tossed anot t landed on trated, I begaing tones. A    ory ree. Orters I could ,    I took to mean “” and s the window.

        till plenty of time before evening. I ed y garden, aruck by ty of trees and treet. Before long,    like a servant, but rat nearing eaco trees.

        “Everyto    I’d obtained from to add, “I’ll see to t,” but instead blurted out, “he’s on his way. Shekure should be ready.”

        “No matter s a bride’s procession, follo. e’ve prepared a ste of pilaf s.”

        I, so tell me everyt I cut o be suce affair,” I cautioned, “; to do not it. All our

        efforts ect ourselves not only from    from te Effendi as    you afraid?”

        “ be?” so cry.

        “You’re not to tell ae in clot tress and lay , not as a dead man, but as ttles of syrup by ters closed. Make certain t    as Se a    t mi’s all. ing t te Effendi’s last    be a joyous    a melanc see ourselves troy us, and tand, don’t you?”

        S. Mounting my urn before long, t S to be ready, t er, I er of t I o t t tails came to me, and just as I’d felt during battles from time to time, I ion t I io turn out fine. rust, do o mind, follouition and your as .

        I rode four blocks tolar neigo find t-faced preaeig of tyard. I told    my predit. By te’s time ed a divorce from a    at ed t by tates of Islamic la    a mont I tered by explaining t S for four years; and so, t by eo add t ted a divorce to allo. “My exalted Imam Effendi, you may rest assured t tacle to true, sion, but being maternal cousins is not an obstacle; ary differences bet, if    to take place before tire neig befod for ts?

        ill preoccupied    te. oo urban and arrive in time to perform tials. o told him.

        No matter    be—eve for tural tting roubles and surrendering to tionate le banter of a barber for a prenuptial s? t took me, ed , o of te Enis and fair Sted years after our c day back. ered anbul barber    dozen years o test neigion o t this meaningful journey called life.

        ter barber raigrembled as    dance ay co drinking and aken on a pink-plexioned, full-lipped, green-eyed boy-apprentice—er filling ter, er from t at ttom of tinned , ting braziers e-e silk coat, someto    t appreall for o ts oo ted and steamy pleasures of a s    only brougality and prosperity to a bac to his work and his shop as well.

        I’m not certain ime ed into t gently ed t fingers. ited me test of gifts today, as if for free, and after so muc a profound toed Alla an intense curiosity,    of erious bala sadness and pity for Eniser, I er. I    into a    t!

        Flustered, but    a piece of paper. Uo speak and expeg t, my insides were c as I read:

        If t going to be a bride’s procession, I’m not getting married—Shekure.

        Grabbing S by ted o my lap. I o o my dear Sing, “As you erate barber? So, ed reserve, I .” Still wher was doing.

        “he’s sleeping.”

        I no S, t me and my Enis, of course, suspects ot a pity! I forced a kiss upon , displeased. During t me ility from a distance.

        Since S be leaving o ternal ting. Naturally, I ion to bedeck my ives and    at S gate mounted oanbul (one ered as . Mounted upon my    day, I k my beloved Se as if poised to take o another life.

        to e, I presented a generous tip. S-red reamers flos, and ss of “May God protect ed a sed    t minute, began to play a slo out on its way.

        As our o saunter, I uood t Sacle for tials. Our procession, o tire    moment, ially secured everyone’s approval, tralizing any future objes to our marriage.    o c beeo me, I’d ,    telling a soul,    a ion; I’d    and defending terward.

        I led tride my fickle ale ced to ambusyard gate. I noticed rangers stopped and s,    pletely uanding all t ranspiring. In t area entionally entered, I figured out t Serfully activated    o me an t from tement of t-aable seller, oo long, joined us for a ferides sing “Praise be to God, may ect you botice scrape a residue in ill, I aining my vigil against a sudden raid, or even a    all disturbed by tion of t

        tood from tters t tected and supported us.

        As I gazed at to ually, it    une in o    saddened me, it    ted saddles, mounted riders outfitted in sable and silk s and doans and carriages full of elderly tering about travagances of days bygone. But So    t ordinarily protected ric matter, t even one servant to lead tree-sions ored , gold, silver leaf and polisones. More t, I felt a sad teo fill my eyes ears eacime tful opped playing -goers or servants fetcer from tain in ts of “ered to turn in my saddle and gaze at    beinsel and red veil, far from being saddened by all tiful sings, seo kno    nor misiful bride, yard and crossed tone ered truot only by t, but the heavy smell of decay.

        self fortable in t me from tarily I doubted my senses; but I kneer battle, tattered, boots as stolen, and t en filled my mouto t of suffocation t I could not mistake it.

        Doairs in tis I o    time as master of the house.

        “As you asked,    tress, dressed clot over tles of syrup beside    smell, it’s probably due to t from tears.

        One or to t so fry tton. From the way she was

        g, I supposed t Enisaking o    nigly and proudly sitting in a er of tc sood.

        “Make    ,” sh.”

        In my ts I e I’d reet t day I’d e to Istanbul. More ts melody. I    music again later, in te lay in e nighe Imam Effendi married us.

        Because ively aired out ts ligell t my Enis alone dead. t-all neignesses. Before ttendance, a nosy old man, ed about tate of my Enis to lo as soon as ted t from my spot, grabbed my E top of my voice:

        “Put your o rest, my sir, my dear Eniso care for So see troubled.”

        , to suggest t my Enisrying to o ending to listen to ently and illed from aire lifetime, e and approve of ty aernal devotion I s nobody still thinks I had a hand in his murder.

        I annouo ts still in t ted man    aloly began to leave, passing into t room    on ton (at t I could scarcely distinguisepped into triardedly and fully to o to , and gazing sly at So see me, said:

        “Your fato kiss his hand.”

        to -minute invitations and tives motioo collect tinizio t’s tent.

        Not long after to prayer ts dispersed, ily partaken of ts, almonds, dried fruit leats and clove dy. In ters, S g and tivity. Among tony-faced silen respoo t gibes of ttributed to my preoccupation ress, t clearly ingrained in my memory . After bot, o a dark er of t t. Upon my ongue, o my moutaste t te.

        I, S guests of our    on tossing a last piece of dy into t us to a peing silence. e yard, not t noise of a sparroer from t. tiny    of tone ly vaniso t tent presence of tied .

        “C reized as to announeth of you.”

        they did so.

        “Black is no’s see you kiss his hand.”

        tly and docilely. “Si a fatunate co rusting in o Black. “tfully, urely or co you’ll solera first, uanding t t ever once obeying t even remember.”

        “I remember my fat.

        “en,” I said. “From o you, if t or sest sign of being rude, spoiled or ill-mannered, first    five tion of beatings t ip of my tongue. “ever space I occupy in your , t space, too.”

        “I didn’t marry you solely to be your    also to be fato these dear boys.”

        “Did you two ?”

        “O to s doed from a er. “My dear God, I pray you protect us, my Lord.”

        “You tty young men. Since your fatrol and disregard    beforehand.”

        “And I’ll five terward, as well,” said Black.

        “ to a beating,” I said. “Are ood? Your    of battles, from    e fat return; yes, her is now very ill.”

        “I    to go and be    said.

        “If you’re not going to listen, Black eac it means to get a beating from    be able to save you from Black to protect you from me. If you don’t    to suffer your fat to figo sell no lies, perform your prayers, not go to bed before memorizing your lessons and you’re not to speak rougo ease ood?”

        In one movement, Black croucook Or kept ance. I ing urge to embrace ary S, you’re so alone in t of myself as a small c, a like Or a unaced to its tree. I    restrained myself. t plao say anyt, I said:

        “e no’s her.““

        t yard . In tance dogs es passed. tly like a black flower.

        “All riger. “Let’s go inside so    catc here.”

        It    only Blad I imidity of a bride and groom left aloer t

        ered our antly as t ranger. e     nobody seemed to be a. e silently climbed tairs, and t onto t seemed someo be doing so for t time. Upstairs, as we were removing our s said:

        “Before I go to sleep    I kiss my grandfather’s hand?”

        “I o’s clear t evil spirits aken o your room so I    prepare your bed.”

        o t ttress and spread out ts and quilts, s so ttering about s    in a sultan’s palace.

        “ell us a story,” said Or on .

        “Once upon a time t panion was a jinn.”

        “he man blue?” said Orhan.

        “Foodness sake, onig least don’t tell a story about jinns and gs.”

        “ s. “Moter o be her?”

        “Yrandfatect o    nigo look after urn to our bed, don’t I?”

        “er Grandfat. “Doesn’t er my grandfat night anyway?”

        “Are you finis rag,    leto t and o t as if .

        “y t and bring it back. I don’t    S to leave t.”

        “ I leave t. “ ell us a story about jinns and fairies?”

        “Because t,” Or so muc of fear, but imism I aliced in er he’d relieved himself.

        “Mothere jinns here?”

        “If you leave ttempt to see yrandfatch you.”

        “ . “onight?”

        “I’m not sure,” I said. “hayriye will be preparing his bed.”

        “Motill going to sleep    you?” said S.

        “imes do I o tell you? I’ll sleep togetwo as before.”

        “Always?”

        carrying t. From t io be on t of a dle, I stared at time trying to fat. trations iful enoug you migake tten memories; and as ing, as you looked at they spoke.

        I’d lost myself in tures. I uood from t of Oriful ed my    oo,    t odd and suspicious Red. As occasionally o take out my breast and nurse er, errifying picture of Deatly and sly breated to eat him.

        “I’ll eat you up, do you uand me?”

        “Mama, tickle me,” hrew himself down.

        “Get off t up you beast,” I screamed and slapped ures. I crations; apparently no o topmost picture ly, yet unnoticeably, crumpled.

        ered y c. I gatures and    to leave t began to cry:

        “Mother? here are you going?”

        “I’ll be right back.”

        I crossed ted across from my faty cusion t    four days discussing painting and perspective    trations on tand, tly suffused t room onis in motion.

        Utterly still,    tures at lengtly and respectfully. est movement, till air, erious illustrations seemed to move too. ings taken on sucy of tree or t of trations? After a    to our being alone in t. Boted to speak.

        “omorro my    I’d said , it appeared as if I were being insincere.

        “Everyto believe in trut he’d spoken.

        ible gesture to drao me, I o embrace o take o my hands.

        Just at t moment, I o my faterror, I ran over, opened our door and looked out: By t t filtered into to see my fatepped into ted by till-lit brazier, reeked of decay.    or somebody else e goed peacefully, bat lig about ts, I’d say, “, dear Fat befoing to sleep. Raising ly, ake t    of my er bearer never    for anyto my eyes as o do    my fat, I ed to avoid looking at    time, goaded by ted to see how gruesome he’d bee.

        I timidly returo t of anger. e struggled in t of the dle,

        t    really a struggle but ratation of a struggle. e o eacoucs. t resembled tional state t Nizami o , like S “tinue” hem so hard”?

        “I refuse to sleep in til t devil-of-a-man is found, until my fat,” I said.

        As I fled t. I’d spoken in suc must’ve seemed I ed to    I’d said—pere uro dust on ch.

        As soon as I     out into the hallway.”

        “Did you go out?” I said, and made as if to slap him.

        “ and hugged her.

        “ go out,” said ire time.”

        I s look    after my fatell s, and t t, taking advantage of tunity, ry to trol me. S stop t ry to plae, to     in divine lig, doing tly at ed S onto my lap and kissed him.

        “I’m telling you, S    out into the hallway,” Orhan said.

        “Get into bed, you t me get betell you tory of tailless jackal and the black jinn.”

        “But you told    to tell us a story about jinns,” said S. “ ell us tory tonight?”

        “ill t ty of the Forsaken?” asked Orhan.

        “Yes t city airs and cory.”

        “I    fall asleep,” said Orhan.

        “o sleep tonig.

        “In tigo your mot. tle feet are these?”

        “Mine,” said S. “here will hayriye sleep?”

        I’d begun telling tory, and as aler which I lowered my voice.

        “After I fall asleep, you’re not going to leave t, Mama?” said S.

        “No, I    leave.”

        I really didn’t io leave. After S fell asleep, I     o fall asleep cuddled up    of my sed elligent and desirous    room. I’d dozed off s, but my sleep ful. Later, t I remembered about t strange restless realm bet I settled ats , ter of t disgraceful murderer o send me off to be errifying t, began making a clattering ruckus. In my dream, ossed sto our ruck ter, ossed a rock at t one point even trying to force it ope, o o pound.

        I a.    decide, and so snuggled up    moving, I ed. I’d nearly assured myself t t tyard his also a rock, perhaps?

        I error. But tuation immediately got ate iful corpse? My God, I prayed, protect us. the children were deep asleep.

        aking cuation like ts. In my present dition,    o e to ting someto o Allayard gate open. It yard gate,    it? Yes, absolutely.

        I rose abruptly, grabbed my robe and quitted t even knowing myself w I was doing.

        “Black!” I op of tairs.

        After ily donning sairs. t at t as soon as I stepped out onto tyard’s st ed, I sa tyard . My dearest Allayard gate ood stunned, atremble in the cold.

        I brougick or even a piece of , in te move of its oer, after it appeared to illed, I    squeal. I remember this seems like a dream.

        beood t my fatruggling to leave orment bot me at ease and plunged me into agony. If Fat, tormented soul, frantically fluttering about, trying to escape and asd, so troubled me t I prayed to Allao fort    o me t ect me and t relief emplating evil just beyond te, let less soul.

        Just t per    ting my fat tside tyard gate, o, I noticed h somebody.

        A man alking to Black from trees in ty yard o. I o i traigo be ive strain, a ening overtone. I listeo ta nigo settling ats.

        I uood t I    I loved Black, but to tell trut I ed o love only Black—for .

        “tomorrourn nesses ill figains of Persia,” imate. You’re itting adultery in there.”

        “S your her’s wife,” Black said.

        “My older brotill alive,” ion. “tnesses who have seen him.”

        “t t    returned after four years campaigning, ted Sell    he’s now a divorced man.”

        “Sricted from remarrying for a mont’s a sacrilege trary to t to such disgraceful nonsense?”

        “Enisified our marriage.”

        “Did you ogeto poison your Enis h hayriye?”

        “My fatressed by o Sill alive, could also call you to at for your dishonor.”

        “these are only excuses cooked up by Shekure so she could leave us.”

        t ed to eag and afraid,    being able to restrain myself, I sed too and ran into t knowing w I was doing.

        S ran doairs and fled out into tyard.

        “My grandfather has died.”

        e ed ill sing. Blad s and everyt was said.

        “Mot said time.

        Everyone oo.    tig top of tairs, .

        “You promised you    leave us,” said S, wo cry.

        My mind    to close te. I kissed S oigaking in t of o airs.”

        t upstairs. I returned and stood a feeps bee. I assumed    see me. ion in trees

        t lireet? As it oo. It o vene in t see, but it    ified. it guilty, al sad I ing me. My beloved Alla suffering for t a means to reaot?

        I’d killed my fat S    everyt ted an unpardonable sin deserving of torments of o to explain it all. If I o be i, if my    red o uro il y, a    sort of sacrifice—for    oo severe. e patiently listeo iced t t silence amid trees.

        “If you return of your oo true ely different tone, “if you silently pitter-patter back    being seen by anyone, I’ll fet tted, all of it, I’ll five it all. And,    togeter year, patiently, for my broturn.”

        as ile in    o me in front of my    I feared it mig him his life.

        “Do you uand?”    from among trees.

        I couldn’t determily o us, Your sinning servants.

        “Because you    be able to live uhis I know.”

        I momentarily t t    e. But I couldn’t be certain of anything.

        “Listen to me,    to true. t despicable of men killed him.”

        “ t so?” said s. If o be appropriate, er to him years ago.”

        e    as    detail of everyt    ly fotten, or et. Over t I ant Blae if o begin reting t.

        “e suspect t you he one who killed him,” Black said.

        “On trary, you . As for me, I ive.”

        “You killed    get married,” said Black. “ ted S your mind. Besides, you e Effendi because o return o live ed revenge. As long as    your hands on Shekure.”

        “Be done alling,” o listen to ttle. It’s very cold    rying to get your attention    you hem?”

        “Black    rations,” I said.

        his?

        o I sometimes resorted to    course of a is to return noo to o the Koran.”

        “I refuse,” I said, as if o t of t. “I refuse, hasan. No.”

        “ty aion to my broto alert t tomorro.”

        “to call you to at any you go to t you’re tan’s ishis very m.”

        “Very ion.”

        I sorture ted. “Don’t go to t. Everything will bee clear.”

        “I orture,” ortured times I uood it

        y could be culled from t. Let torture. I’m going to tell tain of t poor Eniss illustrations. Everybody is talking about trations.    is it about t’s in tures?”

        “them,” Black said.

        “ t opportunity.”

        “Eniss me to finishe book.”

        “Very orture th of us.”

        t. , Blad I steps in ty yard. ere tell    being seen, rees and    steps nearing us. I boldly sed, “here was no response.

        “hush,” said Black.

        e rembling from t ating too long, e and tigering my bed ed ures.
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