GoIdmund spent a day of iening in to ers beautiful madonna in ter.    to see    t er Niklaus t nigime.    be of s duration, migo danger per today it    to miss any of it.     to see people, to be distracted; ed to spend tumn day outside, rees and clouds. old Marie t ryside and mige. o give     up for , stuffed s full of bread and apples, ran a brus,    him go.

        rolled across teep-stepped paty vineyards, lost    on ts, and did not stop climbing until    plateau. tedly trees. Blackbirds scurried before eps; sreated into t y looked like a toy; not a sound rose from it, except t of teau t pagan days, perifications, perombs.    doumn grass on t valley, tains beyond to tains and sky merged in bluisainty and could no longer be told apart.    ance muc. A imes    in ts, eaten berries, been ain ridges, and stretcigued. Someance, far out of t migill be    caug tor; and someed distance, er of le of t iful daugitute, ill roaming t peristered places, s, toles and cloisters, and people alive and dead existed inside ance,    oo, tomorr    ed somet somet would survive him.

        Up to notle remained of     out in t remained . Joure book, tiful, ac visible to ot go on to a restless, torturous as iful overflo?

        It    ones senses play, drank full at tive mot— bliss but e against deat, colorful today and rotten tomorro up a defense, imprisoned oneself for ried to build a moo ting passage of life—t a tool; one enlisted in t    ones freedom, scope, lust for life. ts er Niklaus.

        Ac    split by ttle alternative! to create,    sacrifig ones senses for it. to live,    renoung ty of creating. as t impossible?

        Per lose ty by being faittled, did not s dried up by lack of freedom and lack of risk. Per one.

        All existence seemed to be based on duality, on trast. Eitary burg time as , be a man as ind mind. One al as important and desirable as t easier in t. Nature ed t desire bore its fruit automatically, t ternal longing replaced tility. as ted everytile, did    ion? No,    be evil; ed t and ts, flo t ran tire creatiourned e—or did God i    iful and    maed and gave back to God as a sacrifice of this longing?

        s depressed urned oy, saplace, t, to oress,    nigo o experie nigo o make t marvelous aug nigy rees, er, fisterflies. For tasy and danger, ored up during to plain.

        all day on tumnal s, iing bread, toole. It ared out of quiet red roop of singing boys carrying    turnips o ttle mummery left a st of er in its er time rolled about outside tle. taries ill t silted in one of to creep inside and fia, ttle closet room until Agnes appeared and silently led o enderly iful face received enderly, but not ened. o try very o ctle. Slotle of her fidence.

        " you    be," sefully. "You , my golden bird, o an end any urn. t is angry today. ts    not set eyes on you! You    live t ;

        sounds rose in     o ender-sad. ts o e to    nigo , t tender-anguis    secrecy?     risk?

        Gently o o    touced o find ened and en.

        Suddenly sarted as a nearby door eps approached.

        "O!" s;Quickly, you    escape t room.    betray me!"

        So t room. ood alone groping antly in t speak loudly to Agnes.    o t one foot before to tried to open it. And only at t moment,     could be an unfortunate ce t someone er     believe so. o a trap; . Someone must     rembling, ood i of Agness last ;Doray me!" No,    betray    pounded, but teadied eeth.

        It all    came in from Agness room, a dlesti    . At t, Goldmund ily scooped up a fes t ake    .

        t saw    once. Slowly he came closer.

        " are you doing ;

        "Five me," ook. ;

        And    ts on the floor.

        "A t    intelligent of you to risk your life for a fes. Are you a burgy?"

        "No, my lord, Im ;

        "Silence! I    to kno t since youll be    o pry into t. t is enoug;

        Violently    t;Are you t;

        tside, and tmen stood in readiness h drawn blades.

        "tie ; called t in a voice t croaked ; eal. Put omorro;

        Goldmunds ied;    up ance. airs, tyard, a butler carrying a torcopped in front of a round, iron-studded cellar door, sed and cursed because t iook torcler ran back to fetcood, ting outside t pus curiously on to Goldmunds face. At t ts le le copped in front of t t se attentively: tmen, tood ting.

        Goldmund notieits nor    t    eyes ood ts ly to one of t to deat been caug.

        "to ; said t. "Before early mass Ill bring s and o me t    be led ao t till    to fession and ts like any otian."

        t tradict. tary. imes at ts table. And besides, w be deprived of fession?

        ts ared. Finally tler came o a cellar, and stumbled doeps. A couple of tools    around a table; it eroom of a ool to down.

        "tomorro is ing to fess you," one of t and carefully locked the heavy door.

        "Leave me t, brot; begged Goldmund.

        "No, fello along    it. t o get used to t last any    ."

        Noool and laid able. It o sit ts ; but trated er. At first , able as t to be decapitated.    to impress upon    : to accept table, to accept dying.

        For ay    t    over, trying to accept , to breat in, and fill . It    omorroo sit on and pick at.    Master Niklaus    , like all ts. It    easy to accept t, to let . It ely impossible to accept it. too many t yet given up, to    said goodbye. t o do just t.

        o say fareo beautiful Agnes. Never again o kiss it many times more. Oe autumn sun,    of o o say fareo to te-clouded sky, trees and forests, to imes of day, till sitting up, even no, sitting and ing, falling asleep in o Goldmund would ever e home.

        Oed to make—gone, gone! And t. Jo too o be given up.

        And o say fareo o , to love, to playio sleeping and o everytomorro, a girl ars    snoant mountains—everytrees    t of t    Goldmund. Noto c all.

        asted t young s; ire colorful . In parting, all of lifes beautiful fusion s tear upon tear drop from o tears flooded out; collapsing, o te pain. Oains, brooks among green elms, o evenings on tiful radiant image e boy. From t, a sig rose: "O;

        And as     ts and artists dreams. It iful and alive, t seen it since er days. to o    o die, to o , therly hands.

        And so weeping ion and sleep    an wo, esg his misery.

        violent pain. s burrouble sitting up; to and realized o take o die. t .    t ts ion of o    kno, ay.    all certitude about things.

        But y or not:    desire it, ed not ransitory life, t ed to live. Furiously    up, groped o to to be an escape! Per    o say a good ion or make    over t    couldnt be over yet. First ry to . ry as o list o vince o flatter    ies ill, tiny: t omac collapse, some unforeseeable possibility of escape migo die; ried to accept e, and . , ruggle, rip ttack t for o t moment,    to untie    deal would be gained.

        In time ried, in spite of to    teet er a cruelly long time, in making ttle looser. Panting, ood in t of ing terribly. ten    along tep by step, expl truding edge. teps over o t and tried to rub t tones. It . Again and again s instead of t to     give up. rip of gray m ie it;    aftero to exercise to move to make tream t seemed good to him.

        If    succeed in persuading t to    test time, o kill    ools.    strangle rengt beat t to deato o be outside tle, and t he plan would work.

        Never iion, longed for it a feared it. Quivering ension aermination, crip of liger. o table and practiced croucool ween his

        knees so t t be noticed immediately. Since ermio get to be smasermio live at any cost. ell, perside o    reac    s sa    t srust? And if nobody appeared and no sign    succeed, ool, tain of one advantage: omed to tinctively all t fees at least.

        Feveris table, t o t to s o begin. At time c s ; terrible tension    be bearable mugto e soon ,    readiness, ermined o be saved ill in tage.

        Finally tside aeps resounded on t in t, a key urned: eac like ter thly silence.

        Slo, creaking on its    came in, alone,    a guard, carrying a dlestick    at all he prisoner had imagined.

        rangely moving: t    of Mariabronn, t t Abbot Daniel, Fatin had once worn!

        t stabbed at ; o look aer    till t. eet his friar.
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