Isabelle er er told me of further losses.

        Up in ttic I leao make it give, t. Over and over. I empting fate.     falling cause to collapse? ould roof tiles and beams and stone e craso t? ould it stop t go? I rocked and rocked, taunting t to fall, but it didn’t. Even under duress, it is astonis ay standing.

        t, I    ill feel it resounding in my eardrums and in my c. I leaped out of bed and ran to tairs, Emmeli my heels.

        e arrived on t time t Jo in tc t of tairs, and ared. In tanding in dress, staring up     rose and fell in to settle. Fragments of plaster, mortar, ill falling from ttering, and from time to time I felt Emmeline jump as planks and bricks fell in the floors above.

        toeps ers    into my feet. In ter of all tritus of our broken    slotling around ood like a g. Dust-gray -gray fad -gray tdress. Sood perfectly still and looked up. I came close to are to    anot anotrellis pattern in t, and ttle atti. Above all of t, self and tars.

        I took ’s no use looking up there.”

        I led tle c o bed,” I told John.

        G- ure toroyed ceiling. It ion of a dro. “And I’ll sort t.”

        But an er, ucked up in bed and asleep, ill tly as I    aring at t where she had been.

        t m, c o he roof, and she was gone.

        ‘e’ve lost old Jo. ”She’s dead.“

        ued to stare across tcable as t ually, in a voice t did not expect to be heard. “Yes.”

        It felt as if everyto an end. I o sit like J into spad doing not time did not stop. I could still feel my beat measuring out toma my t. I    I    instead I was sdalously and absurdly alive—

        so alive I swear I could feel my hair and my fingernails growing.

        For all t on my    I could not, like Joo ter    o o e out of t ime to stop playing and grow up.

        ‘I’ll put ttle on, tea.“

        My voice    my oo my skin and taken me over. So kno o do. I ly surprised.    I spent ccer, cche villagers?

        I settled quietly inside myself    tea leaves, stirred and poured. S t , and as t, s tea reaac last I stopped trembling.
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