In the Red Deeps
ttingroom ead along to to tting tter not alone, as usual. Some one ime to feel t it to c by a side glance, looked s tairs; for Mr akem sometimes came in and ied t t ting sell so tom, and to at all agitating to Maggie to see Paiude and pity too e sort of P be altered by care about o , tle altered - it ured boys face, y to ay, and after all ations, Maggie felt t so say a feo still be melanco be, and like o look at o like t Maggie glaoo s face toarted from to reac d to repress to recall snatcil surning along the road, and she could go down again.
It o lengt t be finis s beyond te, and satisfied ting out of doors. One of o go to St Oggs, o a spot t lay beyond rise of ground crorees, lying along tes of Dorlill. Insignifit, I call it, because in it s oeful result, and t is rees, making an uneven er of a mile along t side of Dorlill and t fields be bounded by t urned off ao t o very capricious ed stone-quarry - so long exed t botrees, ac close-nibbled. In ao recile o an excursion ting every no rest ually on t on a grassy ooping aslant from teep above en to ts, like ti bells on t of Silence, or see t pierg tant bougo t ime too, t ional reason o any ot, on t day so sometimes, in ion, s s to deny indulgen it.
You may see e turning aers tcall figure and old lavender goary black silk s-like material; and over ainly suppose o be farteeo ed, pered figure ood ary and voluntary , and ts in race: t g all figure, so of kins sees in older faces under borderless caps, out of keeping ant youts to flas in a sudden, passionate gla e all tude, like a damped fire leaping out again when all seemed safe.
But Maggie uneasy at t. S trees and t t t storms urned upartled gesture to see P raised , and to out oo coloured o pleasure. S out t t rong in to speak.
`You startled me, sly. `I never meet any one o be me?
It to perceive t Maggie felt herself a child again.
`Yes, I did, said Pill embarrassed. `I o see if you ; but you never came. tcoday, and you in sig be displeased h me.
`No, said Maggie Po apany o unity of speaking to you. Ive never fotten o tom, aoo; but I sure t you om and I deal of trouble si makes o rouble came.
`I t believe t you of me so muc of you, said Pimidly. `Do you kn in tudy me.
Pure-case from , and ope. Maggie sao space range, dreamy eyes. It er-colour sketc as a portrait.
`O dear, said Maggie, smiling, and flus a queer little girl I pink frock. I really tle pause: `am I like ed me to be?
t te, but t glance Maggie turned on P t of a coquette. S it e deligion and love. P , before ly, `No, Maggie.
t died out a little from Maggies face, and t trembling of t s turn ao look at hen he said, slowly,
`You are very muciful t you would be.
`Am I? said Maggie, turning in a deeper flusurned ook some steps looking straiging o tomed to ty, t in abstaining from t more of abandoning all care for ador, templation of , occurred to s o like tc sig no room for any otrees and o a green surrounded by an ampre of t as t about tened, Maggies face its gloill w Philip again, she said in a serious, sad voice,
`I t is trial I o bear i keep anyto love ; and tom is different - and my fat is like deat part part ake any notice of eac I ed to speak to you for. I ed to let you kno tom and I t do as suc if I beten all about you, it is not out of envy or pride - or - or any bad feeling.
Maggie spoke leness as s on, and o fill ears. tronger resemblao y appeal more strongly to y.
`I kno you mean, , `I knoo keep us apart on bot it is n you be angry o call you Maggie in my ts - it is no sacrifice everyto ot deal for my fat I give up a friendstac of any sort, in obedieo any reise as right.
`I dont knoen, ed, it o me t I bound to give up anytill it o me t I could ty. But no good - it ate of mind. Im quite sure t o him.
`But make o see eacimes? said Po say somet checked himself.
`O, Im sure like it. Dont ask me , said Maggie, in a distressed tone. `My fatrongly about some t at all happy.
`No more am I, said Puously, `I am not happy.
`ly. `At least - I oug to ask - but Im very, very sorry.
Puro ieo stand still any longer, and t out of t trees and buser t last o insist immediately on ting.
`Ive been a great deal last, timidly, `since I , and being distented because I couldnt ermined for us - and it makes t is laid upon us and doing o do.
`But I t give up ly. `It seems to me o be beautiful and good, aisfied til our feelings are deadened? I deligures - I long to be able to paint sucrive and strive, and t produce . t is pain to me, and alil my faculties lose tated a little, and t ot iful in it - I have lived.
`O P feel so. But began to beat ent.
`ell, turning quickly round and fixiingly oed to live, if you me see you sometimes. ted, o me. And if I could only see you alk to you a little, and s you cared for me - and t o be glad of life.
`But eringly. (Could s speak to erest to vary t erest before it came.)
`If you me see you imes - ented if it could injure no ones en my life. Besides-- P on, ive astuteness of love at one-and-ty, `if ty beto us, ry and quenc by our friends by our influen b about a , if I could kno t believe ty in my orary.
Maggie s, under flig ts. It seemed to ion t to see P only i but good; per really o find te, as s. t said t musiaggie; but at it t monotonous o obey - t sucervieo be discovered in, somet, if discovered, must cause anger and pain, and t t as a spiritual blig t again, like c breeze, persuading ts and tile sacrifice for oo t iveoo ain pang, alt made to ttero ion t Maggie as frank and unstraiowards him as when she was a child.
`I t say eit last, turning round and o , lest I s seek fuidance.
`May I e again, to-morro day - or week?
`I tter e, said Maggie faltering again. `I o go to St Oggs sometimes, and I put tter in t.
`O no, said P be so see tter - and - ay, I believe, but ly from me; deal about ion. Pray let me e ell me ell me, I en as I till I do see you.
`I t must be so, t be quite certain of ing icular evening.
Maggie felt a great relief in adj to enjoy tes of panions t s linger a little: t time t, so pain Pelling ermination.
`I t er a fes of silence, `ra is t alked to eac as if it erday Lorton. A botered in t is five years. you seemed to of feeling t I quite so sure t you so muco fill your mind - I quite sure you me now.
`I t you see you, said P made me like you better t to explain t: I dont tro effects our natures are susceptible of ever be explained. e eitect t nor t on us. test of painters only once painted a mysteriously divine c old - and tell o be divine. I tores laid up in our ure t our uanding make no plete iory of. Certain strains of music affect me sely - I ever ttitude of mind for a time, and if t I might be capable of heroisms.
`A you mean about music - I feel so, said Maggie, clasping uosity. `At least, sone, `I used to feel so church.
`And you long for it, Maggie? said P ioy. `Atle t is beautiful in your life. tle girl.
to t, reflected from ters.
`No, I ly, `except a very, very few.
Paken from a small volume, and the back, as he said,
`A o take it it in my pocket because I am studying a se for a picture.
Maggie too and saitle: it revived an old impressi force.
`"te," saking t once - I read to o read t. I on in my o of t beginning. Poor Minna! I get my mind aland Isles - I used to feel the rough sea.
Maggie spoke rapidly ening eyes.
`take t volume c. `I dont it noead - you among tg shadows.
Maggie o P, as if to say `avaunt to floating visions.
`Do keep it, Maggie, said Preatingly, `it will give you pleasure.
`No, tting it aside o be; it o see and kno would make me long for a full life.
`But you al lot: is narroicism - I dont like to see you persisting in it, Maggie. Poetry and art and knowledge are sacred and pure.
`But not for me - not for me, said Maggie, oo muc - t last long.
`Dont saying "good by," Maggie, said Pued still to speaking. `I must not go any fart I?
`O no, I fot; goodby, said Maggie, pausing and putting out o irong current to Per tood looking at eacs, hdrawing her hand,
`Im very grateful to you for t is very s to a iful t seems t God s so t you could care about a queer little girl I t you cared for me more tom did.
`A fretfully, `you her.
`Per, said Maggie, simply, `but t tanding om by t is dark to me. But I s you - t keep apart.
`Dont say so, Maggie, said P t little girl in my mind for five years, didnt I earn some part in not to take e away from me.
`Not if I I am not - I must submit. Sated a moment ao say to you, t you ter not take more notiy brot boo old me not to speak to you again, and c. I am too long away. Good by. She gave him her hand once more.
`I sen as I till I see you again, Maggie. - hers.
`Yes, yes, I fir-tree; ter es, as if ill.
Maggie already begun; P o do not remember and oed intervie you must not suppose t isfied persuading o infuse some o Maggies life - seeking t ends for test promise of love to girlisenderness s o cely ty, t s love o associate derness, o. If any o claim it all. ty of it t a mind like s very yout tree, for of t and space it o flouris , by persuading of em of privation? not seeing her.
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