Ying-Ying St. Clair

        My daug me in ti of rooms in her new house.

        "t bedroom," Lena said in her proud Ameri way.

        I smiled. But to C bedroom is t bedroom, ell tomless pond. You tones in and to t refleything.

        I to myself even ter. S of    is part of mine. But ell    my past. It is to pee o where she    be saved.

        t slope doos    to put any babies in t I knoen. S    any babies. Soo busy dra someone else    say t s is an ugly word.

        "Arty-tecky," I once pronou to my sister-in-law.

        My daugen for disrespect. But no is too late. Noo my so-so security. So times, I must pull it bato my    and keep it inside.

        good does it do to dra is useless? My daug everyt even food-looking. Look at table. It is e marble on skinny black legs. A person must al to put a able or it     sit on table is a tall black vase. t in. If you sable, the vase and flower will fall down.

        All around ter looks but does not see. t o pieces.    happens.

        ubborn. I oo good to listen. I ty. I i ly imported calfskin stle ogs running across tone courtyard.

        I often unraveled my    loose. My mot my angles and se: "Aii-ya, Ying-ying, you are like ts at ttom of t;

        ted in living peoples o sing despair. My moto t I only giggled as sried to tuck my oo muco get angry. I was like    was wion.

        e    families in usables. On eacable igered Britistes, al amount. Not too muc too little. t for ttes. I t notole a jar and poured ttes out onto treets. e ran doo a large    reet, ted along ter. e scooped up cups of dirty er, o find a fisreasure. e found s.

        e        often, I t jade jar, treasure I did not know I was holding in my hand.

        t t house.

        I een. It    my you aunt got married. Sired to t of her new family.

        Many of ting family members li our ting around table in tis, peeling es, and laugoed s neher, so I called him Uncle. his face was reddened from drinking whiskey.

        "Ying-ying," o me as ;Maybe you are still    it so?"

        I looked around table, smiling at everyone because of ttention given to me. I t reat from a large sack o. I ened cookies. But    a ermelon and put it on table h a loud pung.

        "Kai g;—Open termelon— fruit.

        ty puso eet table laug, because at t time I did not uand.

        Yes, it is true I    I . I did not kno open t ermelon. I did not uand until six monter o me t o kai gwa.

        t even today I ot speak     after my you aunts o kno happened.

        Most of tives    t m. And by ters and I ting at table, drinking tea aing roasted ermelon seeds. My ers gossiped loudly, heir flesh in a pile.

        My ers o    as good as ours. My ers did not knoer of my fathers wife.

        "reat you like a servant…" cer upon hers choice.

        "A madness on ; retorted ter.

        ired of teasing one ao marry.

        "I kno; I told tily.

        It    t boys did not i me. I kract attention and be admired. But I oo vain to think any one boy was good enough for me.

        ts in my    ts are of t are planted s are planted by ot ermelon seeds I ing: I t of t laug before. And just table split from its stem and fell at my feet.

        trut    t     I t t    t I could kno.

        And soon I began to ioned by my fats nearing at me across from my uncles courtyard, ;See, s turn away. S;

        true enoug turn ao ink of old me my fat likely give to keep s t I fell into a marriage bed h him.

        My daug kno I o ty years before she was even born.

        S knoy ter,    and a large nose like hers.

        Even today, my skin is still smoot to , onall and pretty! No t and flas sixteen, are noained, clouded.

        But I still see almost everyt to remember, it is like looking into a bo grains of rice you did not finish.

        ternoon on tai Lake soon after to love urned my face toe-afternoon sun. roked my g-ying, you iger eyes. t nig;

        I did not laug joy. I    like a creature to get out and ing to stay in at time. t is o love t is    so join t person against your will.

        I became a strao myself. I ty for    slippers on my feet, it o c I kneimes a nig luck to our marital bed, in hopes of ceiving a son.

        t ed t    tle boy in my    earlobes, and slick    rose o reveal a large forehead.

        It is because I    I came to e. But even arted riger trickled doo my , rue.

        My arted to take many busirips to trips began soon after    ter t in my    t nigs, to blow    and    back my way.

        I did not kno t. It pees t and takes t it ble t from my you aunt t    me to live h an opera singer.

        Later still,    loat aunt told me of otitutes. A girl cousin younger even t mysteriously for er my husband disappeared.

        So I ell Lena of my s I y. I oo good for any one man. t I became abandoned goods. I ell    at eigtiness drained from my c I t of tell o e this man so much.

        I took t could be born. t a bad to do in Co kill a baby before it is born. But even t it errible revenge as tborn son poured from me.

        t to    like a fis i kno means to not    a baby.

        er looks at me, s is because sside eyes. Siger lady. And she would have careful fear.

        I iger. It o be born, a very good year to be a tiger. t    eryside died like c summer day. People in ty became s into t get fatter. they died.

        t stayed in t I came from a spirit even stronger, and I lived. t my motold me rong in my ways.

        told me    s fierce . tands still s gold betrees, seeing and not being seen, ing patiently for to e. I did not learn to use my black side until after t me.

        I became like te clot o see my grief. I lost my strengt even lift my o place pins in my ed like a dead leaf on ter until I drifted out of my moto my family home.

        I    to try outside of So live ayed in try en years. If you ask me ed betrees. I g.

        I did not reated me er of ted t    a fort to be t is ed. Babies cra like my relatives graceless peasant guests. e all ate in tc t frying grease. And t a bo covered    looked like a living bory was.

        After ten years, I    a strange ill-married    to ty     onto treets. Everyw unknown women and no one g.

        it fresraigs. I y long    ylisired of doing noto work. I became a shopgirl.

        I did not o learn to flatter ed to iger    make a soft prrrn-prrn noise deep s d make even rabbits feel safe and tent.

        Even tty again. t. I ter and more expe ore. And t tty as I.

        It    t, t I met Clifford St. Clair.    tores cyle clot t was    made me know I would marry him.

        "Mista Clair," rodue.

        And t C;Like t."

        I ractive nor unattractive. But t the black side of me would soon go away.

        Saint courted me for four years in raed me, soo long. From er aler    ink t ever be washed away.

        I    unkind. But oo polite.    me cs: a glass figurine, a prickly brooc glass, a silver-colored cigarette lig acted as if ts reating a poor try girl to things we had never seen in a.

        But I sa sue, t I    even imagine.

        I aled ts graciously, alesting just enoug too little, not too muce    because I kris carefully into a box,    someday o see them again.

        Lena t saved me from try village t I said I    kno Saint o    patiently for four years like a dog in front of a butcher shop.

        t I finally came out a ing for to    until 1946.

        A letter came from tientsin, not from my family,     aunt. Even before I opeer I kne srong spirit and ried to leave    kit knife.

        I t t. But n and bitter floiness in a place I didnt knoail.

        So I decided. I decided to let Saint marry me. So easy for me. I er of my fatrembly voice. I became pale, ill, and more t myself bee a    ter e to me and turo a tiger g. I    caused me so much pain.

        irees. I became an unseen spirit.

        Saint took me to America, s tasks. I learero speak ongue. I raised a daugced her Ameri ways.

        it care. I .

        I tell my daug I loved    at nig I cooked. ly    tris I    day, ter, a tiger girl.

        love t it . Arms t encircled but did not touc    my appetite to eat it. No hunger. No fullness.

        No is a g.    tell my daug ser of a g. Sest s leaving ?

        So t I oget and look. I     cut my spirit loose. I    bees o pee my daugoug iger spirit loose. S me, because ture of tigers. But I er.

        I er speaking to airs. t mean not in a room .

        I kno able craso tairs and into my room. irees.
请记住本书首发域名：966xs.com。966小说手机版阅读网址：wap.966xs.com