her.

        said anyt    reize    guilty about s     it o say. But s. Everyt came into e, somehow lag.

        ts of to ared at iced tle    seen . it tucked loosely into old faded jeans, sapering doo narrooma, too, as if side all summer, and ttle ter t.

        ook a deep breath and smiled.

        "s good to see you again."    startled     in er sly, o smile.

        "You too?" ammered.    o iced    s;Its really you, isnt it? I t believe it."

        S all came toget sometc made    a sed.

        S ing for trol. S expected to     it to    e ... Yet... Yet t oe    s fifteen agai as s in years, as if all ill e true.

        Felt as t anotoget    natural t ig real, botting teen years of separation dissolve in t.

        tayed like t for a long time before so look at him.

        Up close, s noticed at first.    tness of yout lines around     been to , more cautious, a.

        ears as tears from the ers of her eyes.

        "Are you okay?" ions on his face.

        "Im sorry, I dido cry ... "

        "Its okay," ;I still t believe its you. ;

        Sepped back, trying to pose    of ears.

        "I saory on to e see you again."

        Noa;Im glad you did." epped back just a bit. "God, you look fantastic. Youre eveier no;

        S t like fourteen years ago.

        "t, too." And    about it. treated him well.

        "So w o? ;

        ions brougo t, making    could    careful. Do out of old    goes on, ts going to be. And s    it to get any harder.

        But God, t, dark eyes. Surned aook a deep breato say it, and ed, . "Noa t to see you again, but to it t t." S;I came o tell you."

        " is it?"

        S ans, surprised t s tell    yet. In t a sinking feeling in omacever it was was bad.

        "I dont kno. I t I did at first, but no so sure ..."

        ttled by t from uur tion, and Allie ra.

        "Is ; she asked.

        Noaigomac;Actually its a sines    yea;

        tcretco a bit when she saw her limp away.

        " o ; salling for time.

        " by a car a fe, called me to see if I ed    anymore. After I sa let    doroy (animals)."

        "You ," srying to relax. S o;You did a    it. It looks perfect, just like I kne ;

        urned ion as    talk and w she was holding back.

        "ts nice of you. It e a project, t kno again."

        "Of course you ; sly    about t t about everyt least sime ago.

        And    t, srangers    fourteen years apart ime. too long.

        " is it, Allie?" uro o look, but sio stare at the house.

        "Im being rat I?" srying to smile.

        " do you mean?"

        "t of t kno to say. You must t;

        "Youre not crazy," ly.     as tood o one anot on: "Even t kno;

        "Like o?"

        "? I t;

        Sated and looked to    door. "Do you o tell anyone?"

        ;No, to tell. Its just me and Clem."

        Eve be anyone else, and inside s kno t. But it did make o say a little    would here was someone else.

        tarted tourned on a pat go of    enouga t actally touch.

        ty still,    eyes, and s it almost seemed as tiful     to raits    desirable. traits like intelligence, fiderengt, passion, traits t inspired oto greatness, traits o himself.

        Allie raits, ;A living poem"    came to mind o describe o others.

        "; so a small grass hill.

        "Since last December. I    t t;

        So ions in ;t;

        on. "I t you mig out okay."

        "Me too," he said.

        "Are you glad to be back ;

        "Yeas are o be." ;But    you?" ion softly, suspeg t.

        It    before s;Im engaged."

        , suddenly feeling just a bit    . ts ell him.

        "gratulations," ;;

        "turday. Lon ed a November ;

        "Lon?"

        "Lon ;

        surprised. t poial families in tate. oney. U of    page of the neer.

        "Ive    quite a business. Did Lon take over for ;

        S;No, ice doo;

        "it be busy."

        "."

        one, and t question came automatically. "Does reat you ;

        S ans time. t;Yes. ;

        ant     it    ricks on him.

        "; sook a couple of steps before answering.

        " after I got back."

        "Im sorry," sly, knoo Noah.

        . top of topped. tree ance, . Allie could feel ared in t dire.

        "A lot of memories t;

        S;I kno ;

        "Yes," eering no more.

        "Do you ever t it?"

        "Sometimes," ;Usually    sits on my property no;

        "You boug?"

        "I just couldo see it turned into kitcs."

        Srangely pleased about t. "Do you still read poetry?”

        ;Yeaopped. I guess its in my blood."

        "Do you kno Ive ever met."

        "Im no poet. I read, but I t e a verse. Ive tried."

        "Youre still a poet, Noaaylor Cal; ened. "I still t it a lot. It    time anyone ever read poetry to me before. In fact, its time."

        made bot bad remember as to t passed he dock.

        As ttle lourned e, ;So, aying?"

        "I dont kno long. Maybe until tomorro day."

        "Is your fiancé ;

        S;No, ill in Raleig;

        Noa;Does ;

        S;No. I told iques.    uand my ing ;

        Noatle surprised by    o e and visit, but it irely different matter to ruth from her fiancé.

        "You didnt o e o tell me you en me instead, or even called."

        "I kno for some reason, I o do it in person."

        ";

        Sated. "I dont kno; srailing off, and t made    as teps. then he asked:

        "Allie, do you love ;

        Somatically. "Yes, I love ;

        t. But again,    one, as if s to vince opped aly took    reflected in her eyes as he spoke.

        "If youre    try to stop yoing back to    if t of you t isnt sure, t do it. t to ;

        too quickly. "Im making t decision, Noa;

        ared for a sed, o er a moment ;Im not making t;

        Stle. "Its okay. I really t blame you."

        "Im sorry any;

        "Doo be sorry. Im tten."

        ;to be , Im still glad you came. Despite everyts good to see you again."

        "t;

        "Do you t o start over (began again)?”

        S him curiously.

        "You    friend I ever ill like to be friends, even if you are engaged, and even if it is just for a couple of days.     kind of get to know eac;

        S about it, t about staying or leaving, and decided t since    , it    n.

        Sly and nodded. "Id like t."

        "Good.    dinner? I kno serves t crab in to;

        "Sounds great. ;

        "My raps out all    I ;

        "No, t sounds fine."

        ed reat. t t be a couple of minutes."

        Allie ciced tension s o fade. Closing    t breeze fan ook a deep breat for a moment, feeling tared at ty t surrounded her.

        S aroma of autumn leaves rode on t soutrees and tening to ter a moment, surer might.

        God, er all time. Sc er. o pull it, ae ted ter.    it    and s, letting most of ter escape. After setting trap on t and began to remove to a bucket.

        Sarted oo ts ced te and added ty-nine. Sixty-seven degrees, s as so    kno e, but it felt abht.

        As sten iful everytance.    a couple of lig seemed to be t least tricity. Out side tos, notain. try ill lacked ting.

        Sepped on t creaked under . ty squeeze-box, and Noa back to c size. So t sat on touc, running ure ting in it, fis en, rough feeling.

        Sime     s at times like those.

        "It s in their evening harmony.

        So t time in the feeling was gone.

        So kno , to uand, to accept it - s no until s - the carving.

        Noah loves Allie,

        in a . Carved into t.

        A breeze broke tillness and cood t ernately looking do toil sh, as she spoke.

        "Its so peaceful ; she said, her voice dreamlike.

        "I kno to be close to ter. It makes me feel good."

        "I oo, if I ;

        "e os go. toes are getting vicious, and Im starved."

        turned black, and Noaarted to beside him.

        In t a little lig     exactly sure if ses later, Clem greeted t nose in tioned    ail between her legs.

        ed to ;Did you leave anyt you o get out?"

        "No, I got in earlier and unpacked already."    to he years had suddenly been undone.

        "Good enoug; arted up teps.    t by to.

        It e rigs , allo from m sun. It asteful restoration, not overdone as was on w.

        "Do you mind if I look around?"

        "No, go aill o put t;

        t for a sed, and Allie kne io c t t little tch again.

        Soured t fees, ig    looked. By time s uro again, and it made    sed befoing on. Damn, s, get a    youre engaged now.

        anding by ter, a couple of et doors open y grocery bags on tling quietly.    ting a feo one of ts. Sopped a fe from    ter, one leg over t how much he had done.

        "Its unbelievable, Noaoration take?"

        bag ;Almost a year."

        "Did you do it yourself?"

        ;No. I al I ed t    it    too muc    of people. But even    ill a lot of    of time I didnt stop until past midnig;

        ";

        Gs, ed to say, but didnt. "I dont ko finis anyto drink before I start dinner?”

        " do you ;

        "Not mucea, coffee."

        "tea sounds good."

        to a small room off ting ea.    a couple of teabags aove, teapot. After putting it on t a matco life.

        "Itll be just a minute," ;tove s up pretty quick."

        "ts fine."

        eapot wled, wo cups and o her.

        Sook a sip, tioo;Ill bet tciful w s;

        ;It is. I    in on t t reason. Even in tairs."

        "Im sure yuests enjoy t. Unless of course t to sleep late."

        "Actually, I    s stay over yet. Since my daddy passed on, I dont really knoe."

        By one, s making versatio for some reason it made o realize    before s, .

        "Im going to get to marieep or soak (meat or fises before I steam em," ting er.    to t eamer and lid.    t to ter, t to tove.

        " I give you a ;

        ;Sure.    cutting up some vegetables for ty in t;

        ioo t ook anotea before setting er arieving t to ts on ttom s of to make room for ood o inctive - a    tle of    sauce, turo tove.

        Noa i saud some oter stirrio make sure t to to get the crabs.

        befoing baside and stared at Allie, c ts. As ,    so make mu.

        But to o taneous, passionate - as    artists to be. A. Artistic talent like . ings in t    as good as w here.

        Sing before s t summer. It    a picture of o    remely sensual.    it, and en did late in t sroke.

        A dog barked in tance, and Noaanding ime. , turning back to tciced how long hed been gone.

        " going?"    finished.

        "Good. Im almost done ;

        "I    I ;

        ";

        "From a neig;    tarted t and began to rier, tting t one. Allie picked up o ch him.

        "Arent you afraid t;

        "No. Just grab em like t; rating, and she smiled.

        "I fet youve do;

        " does teaatter."

        S ter, standing close to ied    t on tove. urning to speak to her as he did so.

        "You    to sit on tes? Id like to let em soak for a ;

        "Sure," she said.

        oget to t as t outside, and    in to y,    inside for a moment and emerged ea and a beer for    took it, sipping again before s it on table beside the chairs.

        "You ting out    you?"

        able. "Yea out . Its a    no;

        "I    see    you do t;

        "Actually, I dont do anyt    no satisfies my creative urges."

        ";

        "Moldman."

        "Excuse me?"

        ;My old boss from up nort of t as I enlisted and died before I got    back to tates, o buy t up."

        S;You alold me youd find a o do it."

        t quietly for a moment, took anotea. "Do you remember sneaking over    you first told me about t;

        on:

        "I got tle late t evening, and my parents ure my daddy standing in tte, my m straig    time my parents kne you, and my motalk er t nigo me, Im sure you t I dont uand    I do. Its just t sometimes, our future is dictated by o . I remember being really    ;

        "You told me about it t day. It    my feelings, too. I liked your parents, and I    like me."

        "It    t t like you. t t;

        "t muc;

        t to feel t ars    o her face.

        "I kno. I als ;

        " it no;

        "t its    it isnt fair. It errible to learn. t status is more important than feelings.

        Noaly at    said nothing.

        "Ive t about you ever si summer, she said.

        "You ;

        " you t; She seemed genuinely surprised.

        "You never ansters."

        "You e?”

        "Dozens of letters. I e you for t receiving a single reply."

        S;I didnt kno; sly, and    must ters     ion.

        "It , Noa try to uand. Once I left, s it o just let it go. Sood    to me, and to be , I dont even kn to protect my feelings, and s t o do t o ters you sent."

        "t    o make," ly.

        "I kno;

        "ould it    t;

        "Of course. I alo."

        "No, I mean ?"

        It took a moment for o ans;I dont k;

        S respond, and in to on: "But yes, Noa least, Id like to t;

        urned a;s Lon like?"

        Sated, not expeg tion. Bringing up Lons name broug feelings of guilt to t s know o answer.

        Sook anotea, and listened as a apped in tance. Sly. "Lons    of my friends are insanely jealous. t, and in a lot of ing s. "But to be sometions;

        S kne rue     he answer in advance.

        ";

        S;I guess I still look for t summer."

        Noa about ions seen her.

        " you?" s;Did you ever t us?"

        "All time. I still do."

        "Are you seeing anyone?"

        "No," he answered, shaking his head.

        Boto t t, trying but finding it impossible to displace from t ied it so quickly.

        "Im going to go start ter.    I get you anyt;

        S to tc teamer and tarcables, coated t some grease into ter turning t on loimer and pulled anoto t about Allie and t heir lives.

        Allie, too,    Noa    a lot of t s engaged but t    Noa t o feel t real love, t tet     normal for o tal to fess tell anyone else? as it normal to e hree weeks from her wedding day?

        "No, its not," so o t;t any of t;

        Noa at t moment and s    o t it anymore. "Its going to take a fees,"    back down.

        "ts fine. Im not t ."

        ness in ;Im glad you came, Allie," he said.

        "Me too. I almost didnt, t;

        ";

        I o say, but didnt. "Just to see you, to find out o. to see ;

        didnt question furtead .

        "By to ask, do you still paint?"

        S;Not anymore."

        unned. "? You alent."

        "I dont kno;

        "Sure you do. You stopped for a reason."

        . S; Its a long story."

        "Ive got all nig; he answered.

        "Did you really talented?" sly.

        "," ;I    to s;

        S up and folloopped in front of ted to ting t el. S noticed it earlier, more surprised it ;You kept it?"

        "Of course I kept it. Its ;

        Sical look, and ;It makes me feel alive . Sometimes I o get up and touc. Its just so real - t it sometimes. Its incredible, Allie - I    stare at it for ;

        "Youre serious," she said, shocked.

        "As serious as Ive ever been."

        S say anything.

        "You mean to tell me no one old you t before?"

        "My professor did," s;but I guess I didnt believe ;

        inuing. "Ive been draing since I    a little older, I began to t it. I e, too. I remember ing t summer, adding to it every day, c as our relations even remember    started or ed it to be, but some evolved into to stop painting after I     summer. I t    in college because it o do; I remember spending udio all by myself and enjoying every minute. I loved t    made me feel io make sometiful. Just before I graduated, my professor, ic for told me I    of talent. old me I sry my luck as an artist. But I didnt listen to ;

        Sopped ts. "My parents didnt t o paint for a living. I just stopped after a ouc;

        Sared at ting.

        "Do you t again?"

        "Im not sure if I    anymore. Its been a long time."

        "You    still do it, Allie. I kno t es from inside you, from your , not from your fingers.    you    ever go as . Youre an artist, Allie."

        ty t s saying it just to be nice. ruly believed in y, and for some reason t meant more to ed. But something even more powerful.

        to close for Allie, ted in o separate ted t sciously, t to to admit.

        But at t moment sill    pletely a, and suro face outly, gently, amazed t after all tly w so heir eyes locked, she once again realized how special he was.

        And for just a fleeting moment, a tiny ime t h him again.

        timer    off in ted a, strangely affected by o o     stop t old ly cursed timer as o tc burned er, and sa tables and o crackle. ttering to    some butter out of ted a bit more for the crabs.

        Allie o tc. " I get table ready?"

        Noaer. "Sure, plates are over tensils and napkins t plenty - crabs    be messy, so ;

        look at     to realize aken about     it to be a mistake.

        Allie, too,    t and feeling . table: plates, place settings, salt and pepper. Noaable, and touched briefly.

        urention back to turables. ed teamer, saill e, auro small talk, easy versation. ";

        "A couple of times. But only in salads."

        ;ture. ; airs for a moment, turon-down s.    open for her.

        " t    you to stain your dress."

        Allie put it on and smelled t lingered in t - inctive, natural.

        "Dont ; ;its ."

        S;I kno just reminds me of our first real date. You gave me your jacket t nig;

        ;Yea elboo your parents rying to get me to ;

        "You didnt, t;

        "No," he answered, shaking his head.

        "?"

        "S kno just didnt seem like t to do at time."

        "e to t, you ;

        "I prefer t fidence," h a wink, and she smiled.

        tables and crabs    time. "Be careful, t," o    across from eac table. tea ill on ter, Allie stood and broug over. After putting some vegetables and bread on tes, Noa for a moment, staring at it.

        "It looks like a bug."

        "A good bug, t; ; me ss done."

        rated quickly, making it look easy, removing t and putting it on e.

        Allie crusoo    time and time after t, and o use o get t. S clumsy at first,    ake, but ty.    care about t. he never had.

        "So, ; s took a sed for o answer.

        "Fin died in troyer orpedoed in forty-t;

        "Im sorry," s;I know ;

        tle deeper no; t time I saed, and o eac a lot of time toget imes I talked o joining. I dont t t I o."

        "ts not fair," s up t.

        "Youre rig miss ;

        "I liked oo. ;

        " t."

        S ;;

        "I kno it."

        " did ;

        Noa;t o figick. t you tly, t sort of t;

        Sly. "Did you believe ;

        "Of course," ;;

        "You men alick toget; sable, poking    on. "So, tell me everyto since I sa."

        tarted to talk t time. Noaalked about leaviouctle, avoiding most of tails, and told    alked about going to college, painting, and    volunteering at tal. Salked about ies s up anybody ted si seen eaciced tio.

        Afterried to remember t time salked teype of man to talk like t fortable ss and feelings. Sried to explain t so be closer to    it o make a difference.

        But sitting    shed been missing.

        t eit, tain timacy, ty, they had once shared.

        talking muc c it ting late. tars    in full, ts a little quieter. alking to Allie and oo muc s about    would some could.

        Noa up and refilled teapot. t to table, and er, adding teabags to both.

        " t;    for    cold, and soon taken t over ciful, . And inside, he ached.

        For somete simply,    o one anot just    topped, and tiny.

        "Its been quite a nig; er now.

        "Yes, it ; s;a wonderful nig;

        Noauro tars, t empty i ed o end. ell    could    would make ay?

        knoo say not he had failed.

        t rs again, over t. Somewhere were people making love.

        "talk to me," sricks?

        " s;

        "talk like you did to me uree."

        And ing distant passages, toasting t. man and tennyson and Bro so familiar.

        Sed    t a bit ime     just t did it. It , ter ts. S try to break it do    to, because it    meant to be listeo t ry, s,    ten to be analyzed; it    to inspire    reason, to touderstanding.

        Because of o a fery readings offered by tment eo different people, different poems, but opped soon after, disced t no one inspired rue lovers of poetry should be.

        tea, sitting quietly, drifting in ts.

        t    s t aken its place, tirrings t o sift and so deny t no to stop. It    this way.

        Lon could not evoke t ried before, many times, using everyto guilt, and s sed to    until marriage. ook it    Noah.

        But t made    to , and it o do    al of tention. ork came first, and for ime for poems and ed evenings and rog on porc of ed . But s    enouged somet, somet versations in dlelit rooms, or per being sed.

        Noaoo, ing ts. to    special times    all iail, t again. Everytri, charged.

        Noting beside .    moonlig separate for far too long ...

        o tars and remembered ty nig si seen eac all to t impossible to press ted to make love to o urn. It he world.

        But    could never be. No she was engaged.

        Allie knely, didnt care really, just kne    was enough.

        S about tion at dinner and    loneliness. For some reason s picture ry to someone else or even s seem type. Eit, or s    to believe it.

        S doea, through her hair, closing her eyes as she did so.

        "Are you tired?" s.

        "A little. I ses."

        "I kno; oral. S get up rigead s sea, feeling it warm .

        Sook trees, temperature dropping.

        S Noa. t    all.    mentio and s asked, mostly because s    to imagine .

        "I s; s ba.

        Noaood    a o . Sarted to take off t    opped her.

        "Keep it," ;I    you to ."

        S ask o keep it, too. Sed it and crossed ero ood tanding on    porcer a ing for a kiss.

        "I    time tonig; ;t;

        "I did, too," she answered.

        ;ill I see you tomorro;

        A simple question. S ted to keep ;I dont t;    hing.

        ted eased    s? S kno as so find t all came clear. "Id like t."

        Noa expected o ao touco take    . " you be    noon?"

        "Sure.    do you    to do?"

        "Youll see," ;I kno to go."

        ";

        "No, but its a special place."

        "?"

        "Its a surprise."

        "ill I like it?"

        "Youll love it," he said.

        Surned aempt a kiss. S kno kne if ime stopping     rig tarted t a bit.

        "See you tomorro; sing t.

        Noa. Sur around, toos vanisrees and the engine noise was gone.

        Clem o ted doo pet tention to c s reacer    time, turo the back porch side by side.

        in time alorying once again to fat    passed. t it. Replaying it. Seeing it again.    again. Running it by in sloion.    feel like playing ar no feel like reading. Didnt know w .

        "S;    for     ivity except for Clem, ;Are you all rig;

        And sometime after midnig clear October evening, it all rus looked like an old man, someone    a couple of    over in ears in    knoop them.

        Phone calls

        Lon he phone.

        seven, t eigy, and now cy-five. here was she?

        o t seen o dinner, . No,    seen her since.

        Lon s one in t. But t rial, even if trial y to catterruption.

        ered t no of it came from being able to select tise to win.    level in ice.

        Only a select fey    kind of stature, a. But tant part of tention to details, especially tle t    noter of laation,    in udy, and it .

        And ail bot about t     Allie. But damn,    put .    t least     sometime after tle detail.

        Detail. Somet? Sometant?

        t ?    . . But ?     started, and ion again. No, not of the ordinary.

        But t , he was sure now.

        rip    all.

        about . Not only y a friend as er a    o    t moments, and    w o hear.

        But more t,    after t a feimes, o    o all     ready for a steady relations;Fine." But on    turned and said: "But your problem isnt me, or your job, or your freedom, or    is. Your problem is t youre alone. Your fato    makes you empty inside, and youre looking for someone    no one    do t but you."

        tayed    nigrue ter some persistence, santly agreed.

        In ted, sed, and ime    practig laing ood, but still,    making time. On ary ake sure    overextending himself ...
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