I so tess at tart, but rary impulses pulled at me. I did not    to scare ory, yet I loo entrust all my secrets to    it o rutuo open my    and tell    eacime I ated and stopped.

        On Labor Day    tadium in ty, ceam take on Cracted by t sed base.

        "So, ;

        "Plan?    plan?"

        "You really s good." Stacked a    dog tcruck out tter, and s out a    for her sake.

        " kind of album? Covers of ot;

        "Youre rig; ses. "Maybe you could do somet. rite your o;

        "tess, t te."

        "Okay, if you could e any musi t kind e?"

        I turo    t I ;Id e you a symp;

        Out flicked oo    ;s stopping you, henry?

        Id love a symp;

        "Maybe if I ayed serious about piano, or if I ;

        "s stopping yoing back to college?"

        Not all. t    in, and Uncle Co call erest iiring ;Im too old to go baoy-six    April, and t of tudents are a bun-year-olds. to a totally different se."

        "Youre only as old as you feel."

        At t, I felt 125 years old. Stled bato    and c of t anot. On t afternoon, scation to classical, and as tra played Ma my sening.

        tess and I    out to t on t for a long time, stle of peaco o say. ars, ts, to t, tting t ant dreams, not of t, but of life before ted destiny or desire teruggled to create. to be fully o give in to my true nature, t impulse.

        "Do you t; I asked, "to    to be a poser in tually listen to your symp;

        "Dreams are,    o being. You o decide    upon t t;

        "I suppose if I dont make it, I could e back ;

        S;If you dont e ;

        " do you mean, e ;

        "I ing for t time to tell you, but Ive enrolled. Classes start in to get my masters degree. Before its too late. I dont    to end up an old maid er ;

        I ed to tell    matter, t I loved y or t say a ed me on tled close, and I breat of    t pass. An airplane crossed ting tary illusion t it ed on tart past eleven.

        "Ive got to go," tess said. Srolled doo to snap    of tupor.

        "imes if its during t;

        "ts a good idea. Maybe youll get inspired to go back yourself."

        Seering    me, and in trees reac to tairs,    to sleep in henrys bed, in henrys room.

        possessed tess to cicide ery to me. tions: sibling rivalry, tborn, t sicide as opic for o do most days but    around campus or drive around ty o er    class, s out for coffee or drinks, at first to plot out o tackle t on infanticide, but as tings    on, tions so returning to scarted symphony.

        "You kno; tess asked. "No discipline. You    to be a great poser, but you never e a song. rue art is less about all ting-to-be bulls, and more about practice. Just play t;

        I fiddled he porcelain ear of my coffee cup.

        "Its time to get started, Co stop kidding yourself and gro out from beo sc;

        I attempted not to let my frustration ament s she main herd. She pounced.

        "I kno you. Your motful about t;

        "You talked to my mot me?"

        "S from being a carefree little boy to a serious old man , you o stop living in your    is."

        I lifted myself out of my cable to kiss ;Noell me your ts kill t;

        e ing in t t    dang or to tartled stare from nearby strangers ook care of torical frameo tatistics. I tried to ain societies, boys o o pass on ter of course, many females ed. But in less patriarcures, infanticide stemmed from a familys inability to care for anotal metion trol. For ess and I puzzled over s decided    myt provide iing anss umbled across ticle.

        Proacks late one evening, I found our librarys sole copy of ty, a fairly ret publication otal of tanding t. title of icle o t: "tolen C;

        Son of a bitch.

        Mess t in medieval Europe, parents ;reclassify" t as somet demons or "goblins"    and stolen true baby a bes to abandon or raise t;fairy c; or fants    France, and "e Germany, tions and rationalizations for a babys failure to tal birt. If one    be expected to keep and raise it as ones os o be rid of ture, and take t outside in t o retrieve it, tunate would die from exposure hing.

        ticle reted several versions of tury Frenc of trusted to guard s to deater to find s a so t;; t protected re motake t;c; to sud leave te to tron saint and protector of c;A Saint Gui, pour la vie ou pour la mort."

        "ticide, te killing of a cs slim probability of survival," e Mes,

        became part of t endured o teentury in Germany, tisries, and tition traveled s to ty in ern Pennsylvania reported t families into ts of Appalaco tennessee, local legend fostered a folk belief t till roam ts.A porary case t illustrates ts of t;Andre; ;; t unexplained discovery of an uified ced as ted t many of tolen by took eac t cy. Suces for tolen children.

        Not only ten tory     me. A superscript notation by "Andre; directed to t of tnote:Andre e story of a ure t, oury. ed also t av Ungerlaury. More incredibly, Andreo ored to e 1940s. e tale, sadly, indicates deep patal problems, possibly c some early crauma, lect.

        I o read t sentence several times before it became clear. I ed to o track o o tras;Liar, faker, t; I muttered over and over as I paced bad fortacks. tered no one, for o t at all and ory bad snatcmares.

        tor d t s-eye glasses,    samed me ; s. "Youll o go."

        I ducked beo eiguffing t in my denim jacket. Soempted to alter my appearance, but t I could do and up, and brushes.

        "Didnt you ; Sood directly in front of me, an unbending reed. "You o go." Sc. I tur tor t as if sory.

        A cool raio meet tess. airs, I o my aoreetligood tess,    to me, gats cover, and laty arm.

        "? Youre s;

        S us dry. S my face, and I kne cold,    nig co fess. Beold    was all I could say.
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