I tucked ter into my book and    to look for Speck. Panic overo t s only moments before. to a cold rain, obliterating any tracks s    a single soul could be seen. No one anss y, as c out anoto ve into too go. A car eased around a er and sloted me , "Do you need a ride? Youll catc;

        I remembered to make my voiderstandable—a siroke of fortune on t miserable day. "No, t;

        "Dont call me maam," sail like t;Its a nasty m to be out, and you    loves."

        "I live around t;

        "Do I kno;

        I sarted to roll up her window.

        "You    seen a little girl out ; I called out.

        "In t;

        "My ter," I lied. "Im out looking for    my size."

        "No. I    seen a soul." S; is your name?"

        I ated and t it best to end tter. "My name is Billy Speck."

        "Youd better go urn up."

        turored off. Frustrated, I oreets aeady drizzle, not quite cold enougo cerated t difficult to orient myself, so I used ts course t to tic to find    stop until late t nigand of evergreens croer sparroed, ing for a break in ther.

        Aoony sopped sears I    at bay began to assault my mind. Unanss t orment me in quiet moments for t fe Kivi and Blomma o be aloold me my real name, I    quiet, or told all and given o stay? A so stop obsessing, I rose and tio stumble t darkness, finding nothing.

        Cold, tired, and o ter ran quickly, breaking over ecaps flas of ce. On tant s escape of a . "Speck," I railed across ters, but s t of land, toe and unkno cross, so I sat on ted. On t her.

        I staggered into ted and depressed,    to talk at all. t    fe by ttled. After t a fire and fed me le soup from a copper pot, tory poured fort for tion of my name, except for o ;As soon as I realized s to look for raveled as far as t;

        "Little treasure, go to sleep," Smaolac;ell e up    promise."

        t m or any ot. I read every tense moment, every crad creak, every ed my grief and gave me rying to drating me drift aoo, but I felt any otry ted to remember properly. I ed t stopping akio tion. I kept t I sa and fell    to be merely tcer play over stone, I came upon    tucked beurned out to be a fa in a window of sunsernally. And never here.

        retcory. I spent ay trying tet rying to remember. t to talk about    I surprised ter an afternoon of fiso tion not intended for my ears.

        "No our Speck," Smaolacold t;If s be ing back for us."

        tole furtive gla me, not kn of fiso sending t t on me. But     s survived, but I preferred to t so t to mind tense colors of her eyes, and a brief smile crossed my face.

        "S; I said to t group. "I kno;

        t turning over stones in ts and salamanders, to cook togete, and took its toll. Famisiny bo cars emerged,    to bed, our stomacaxed by te late t m and dro s once crossed my mind ting.

        Specks presence    and stare at tcs marcice driving    of my mind. Anyt triggered a memory could be stripped of its personal, embedded meanings. A raspberry is a raspberry. tap you ried tet    my place as t of my kind.

        All of us ing for not I kneo make tco steal anot our oo feions, or perself ime ailess energy, but less so under Béka, and never under Smaolaco toed, or fotten. No face-pulling, no tortions, s. As if resigned,    about our eternal business, sangui anoter or abando aed.

        I did not care. A certain fearlessness filled me, and I    ate to run into too son of cigarettes for Lucs for Cole unnecessary t and batteries, a dra, I fiddled asks— atop a    around turtle sing to a necklace. I    up aloo turbed, as , and placed tortoises , but only because life    niger finally made me realize t Speck ting.

        e ending to delicate seedlings planted on a sun-dren ender ss—snap peas, carrots, scallions, a ermelon vine, and a roo rise like ail, to sniff to flee or ruders    rail and ion. Si raveler pass our    our cultivated patc look a bit peculiar ters out in t of trees.

        trapped at trolled past ts and us. t ma on tually settled dotled er, u man took out a book and read somet to t off berees to relieve ime, for t only to finis to kiss terlude erapped on ted a det spell before running to t ted.

        ty er bottles littered te. tuaries by Louise Bogan. I leafed topped at t more t.

        "Speck," I said to myself. I    said uries.

        " is it, Aniday?" Chavisory asked.

        "I am trying to remember."

        to turo see if my rades o discover Lucep by giep, s flooded    an urgency to find o uand ell e versations of my mind ill    to go, found t o vince    moved in my . And ever    it    too late, I resolved to begin again.
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