t arrived, proved botimely and apt. Not only in o offer, but I    all—tice, toire, ty-eigime I turned sixteen, I began looking for an excuse to quit, a    t    break my mot. trut    even, I    in our remote , no doubt our er of tate, maybe t from border to border, but beyond t, no. I lacked to be a . Looking forernative o end up like old Mr. Martin eacer a sed-rate career? I her play in a bordello.

        Over breakfast one m, I opened : "Mom, I dont to get aer."

        "Better t?" she asked, whipping eggs.

        "At t music. I ts as far as I    go."

        So a skillet, t butter and    iron, and said notirred. Se of eggs and toast, and I ate t across table from me. "; sly, ing my attention. "Do you remember ttle boy and ran away from ;

        I did not, but I nodded in tive betes.

        "It er ted a bato cool off. ts o get used to. And I asked you to mind Mary and Elizabeto t. Do you remember t?"

        t I nodded my    slug e juice.

        "I put to bed and came back do you ; ed t;e looked over    couldnt find you. As to e elep your o t." S me, as if reliving the experien her minds eye.

        "Any mgs, Mom?"

        Soove, and I ; gre in t forest? I kneo pick blackberries a    on a brig, poor t a trace. All t remained    on t;

        I peppered my eggs and dug in.

        "I t of you lost and ing your mot get to you, and I prayed to God t youd e    ing . Its a blessing and you salent."

        "Late for sc; I mopped te    op of ed. Before I made it do steps, I regretted not being more forceful. Most of my life eful ercedes, relieving me from y as.

        By time of ter recital t year, just t and sound of tomac disappoint my parents by quitting Mr. Martin altogete all    t    my family at to find ts age. tals remained uncer, students milled about, mentally preparing for turns, practig t surface. Mr. Martin paced among us, ting age-frigent, and tant. "You are my prize pupil," ;t Ive ever taug; And , ion on my lapel. ed tains to tness of tligo ime to duck out ters nig, startled by my presen topped and stared at me. I seet I could not scare it. Once upon a time, sucures errified of me.

        t frozen irely e t of ter. If to be my fareo give to remember me by. I moved like a    pressure on all tial notes. Members of ts to lead trings stopped ed, t I almost fot ed tage, Mr. Martied me first, tears of joy in ;Bravo," and tudents, ment, t I ss, siblings, friends, neiged music lovers. t I dre otice t until most of the well-wishers had vanished.

        My motick from my y perip, about forty years old. elligent face, but I    tared, scrutinized, studied, and pondered, as if dredging up an inner mystery. Ster strao me.

        "Excuse me," s;But youre Andre;

        "; I corrected her.

        &qu;

        "t; I turned bay parents, ed t to go.

        Maybe s of turning a off somet so ;Youre ; s;Youre ttle boy."

        I squi her and smiled.

        "You are t nig; Sarted to raise ;Dont you remember? I sa must    or nine years ago by no youre t little boy, no doubt. I    you."

        "I dont knoalking about, maam." I turo go, but she grabbed my arm.

        "It is you. I cracked my    t you    first. You came out of t—"

        I yelped a sound t    startled everyone, myself included. I did not realize my capacity for sucill existed. My motervened.

        "Let go of my son," sold ;Youre ing ;

        "Look, lady," I said, "I dont kno;

        My fatepped intle. " is t?"

        t;I sa onto t of my car. I so miss    I clipped    knoo do, so I got out of to see if I could ;

        Sed tention from my fat;From t seven artled me more t of noo t natural t doo its moutever you call it. o believe, but    ood, and sprang off. t incredible ts ever o me."

        I realized t ser. But I knew I    seen o inspire wild animals, I never engaged in such foolishness.

        "I got a real good look at ts," s;alt so good at . It was you. ;

        "I dont know ;

        My moted by ory, came up ;It t be en,    let    of my sig few years.    by    nig;

        tensity melted from t; me, and w nig;

        My fatle tone ;Im sorry, but you must be mistaken. Everybody    like my son. Im sorry for your troubles." So ion, but ook t from    open for , t t a    looking back. In railed ts of anger and ay.

        "Did you ever?" my mot; a story. And to t sually o say it."

        From t unnerved me. "    out of ;

        of ty, I announced my decision. "Im not going back tals, no more lessons, no more strangers ing up to me ories. I quit."

        For a moment, I t my fat a cigarette a Mom take over tion.

        " quitting...."

        "Did you    t lady said?" Mary c;S you lived in t;

        "You dont even like to stao a tree." Elizabeth laughed.

        "t about your feelings, Mom, but mine."

        My fatared at te line in the road.

        "You are a sensitive boy," my motinued. "But you t let one ory ruin your life. You doo tell me yoing to quit eigale."

        "It isnt t. Ive ;

        "Bill, ;

        "Dad, Im tired of it. Sick of practice, practice, practice. tired of ing my Saturdays. I t;

        eering ood t all t nigalking, make out tional frontation, but I    all ability to eavesdrop from a distance. On a ; or "bloody" explode from    ts it. Near midnigormed out of t a desolation. I    doairs to see if Mom ting in tcable before her.

        "s late." Sied a ribbon around a bundle of letters a in t;Your fato e once a ory by , but s again. Pregnant,    een at time, ss. Sill alo time of    as old as sing my life as a o be amed age    into .

        "You take almost anytions run s. ars, and tom of t alt;

        Sy-five by my calculations.

        "t doesnt mean Ive fotten s like to be young. Of course, its your life to do    you c,    you    be    in your , I uand."

        "ould you like a cup of tea, Mom?"

        "t ;

        ter, during ternoon before Cmas, Oscar Love and I drove into ty to celebrate my ne episode ion or t my capability to ercourse, so trip     appre, only one of ters could do trick. ured too late in    ty, and    trouble. t of us    ready po perform t.

        But I o experience sex t nigipped back a bottle of cified, o report t losing my virginity id erotic, but trut it ative uainty as to    t, so position. A s time later, all t remained o get dressed, pay tmas.

        s around tree and t on my o a brand-neo any c about tasks,    genuine affe and sideration of one anoted my debauc before. Earlier t m, ing up for me and only goo bed    t dros territory     of our time toget get along. A year and a    ao college, so en our rare enters. reated me like a stranger ime.

        I recall t of imes tling. A feer t ter recital,    up tter e story. e earing doten out of ter turning a . ions arrived in tervals betearing lumber.

        "So, you remember t lady and ory about t; ;    do you make of t? Do you t;

        "Sounded incredible to me, but I suppose it migty sure of ;

        Grunting , ugged a a rusty nail. "So it migrue?    ;

        "I didnt say it rue. S    it isnt likely, is it? And any did o    me. I    t;

        "Maybe it o it, and t of ton stark against the sky.

        "ts a possibility," I said. "I reminded ime. Didnt you tell    everyone he world?

        Maybe s;

        ;tumble do;    up in truck, and drove away.

        t a year later.    first lig rose from tood, o me, in t grass, calling out my name as and of firs. A dark trail of footsteps led into te in front of uck to t, as if artled a    fled a I saure. By time I dre;; lingered in to    o tly . I crept bato teo be reading ts page    me    belt of    maybe I    noticed before rembled as if palsied, and ook a Camel from . tte oo    to lige ed attempts, so ossed it in tras a cup of coffee in front of ared at team as if I had handed him poison.

        "Dad, are you all rig;

        "You." ed    me like a gun, but ts all    t;; again.
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