"Youre t boy Ive ever kissed," so me.

        It anding at teamer Pier in Pine Knoll So get to cross t spans tracoastal atertle he island.

        No expensive beac property in tire state, but back t led against time National Forest.

        "I figured I mig; I said.

        "; sly. "Did I do it ; S look like soo upset if Id said yes, but it    ruth.

        "Youre a great kisser," I said, giving her hand a squeeze.

        Suroting t far-off look again. S a lot lately. I let it go on for a    to me.

        "Are you okay, Jamie?" I finally asked.

        Instead of answering, s.

        "; she asked me.

        I ran my ;You mean before now?”

        I said it like James Dean o say it if a girl ever asked me t question. Eric ty slick h girls.

        "Im serious, Landon," sossing me a sidelong glance.

        I guess Jamie oo. ito realize, I alo be going from o loo ime t takes to s a mosquito. I    quite sure if I liked t part of our relations, to be , it kept me on my toes. I ill feeling off balance as I t about ion.

        "Actually, I ; I said finally.

        ill fixed on t I alking about Angela, but looking back, Id realized t    fela otally different from    now.

        " ; she asked me.

        I cly moving    it ime to pretend I    I actually .

        "ell," I said seriously, "you knos love o do is spend time    of kno the same way.”

        Jamie t about my ansly.

        "I see," sly. I ed for o add somet s, and I came to anotion.

        Jamie may not    experieo tell you truth, she laying me like a harp.

        During t tance, she wore her hair in a bun again.

        On Neook Jamie out to dinner. It    real date s to a small erfroaurant in Morey, a place called Flauvins. Flauvins aurant ableclot pieces of silverting. ters lers, and     pletely lic refleg off ter.

        t and a sioo, not every nig on    to make reservations, and t time I called t I    t didnt    to make    my grandfatill alive and all.

        It ually my moms idea to take Jamie out someplace special. A couple of days before, on one of talked to my mom about through.

        "S, Mom," I fessed. "I mean, I kno know if s I do.”

        "Does s muco you?" she asked.

        "Yes," I said quietly.

        "ell, w ried so far?”

        " do you mean?”

        My mom smiled. "I mean t young girls, even Jamie, like to be made to feel special.”

        I t about t for a moment, a little fused. asnt t rying to do?

        "ell, Ive been going to o visit," I said.

        My mom put    a great imes stuck it to me, like I said earlier, s lady.

        "Going to o do, but its not t romantic t     her.”

        My mom suggested buying some perfume, and t Jamie , it didnt sound rigo me. For o didnt alloion being tmas play-I old my mom as muc aking    to dinner.

        "I dont ," I said to edly. t too quickly. "It builds responsibility," my fat once.

        " o your money in the bank?”

        I sig in silence isfa crossed oo, knew I was finally growing up.

        "Let me    t," sly. "You just find out if so go and if Reverend Sullivan . If so make it happen. I promise.”

        t to t     because I figured sed to be t o do    t     exactly been ed.    it- tains, t I    seen    ake a long time for o anso e from t.

        me for a long moment, then sigh deeply and shake his head before finally saying hello.

        ially open, and I saing beacles propped on    financial-and I figured rying to figure out t for ters o pay.

        I k terest, as if ed anotion, t it was me.

        "; I said politely. "Do you ?”

        ired t feeling well.

        "; he said wearily.

        Id dressed s and tie. "May I e in?”

        ly, and I eioned for me to sit in the chair across from his desk.

        "    I do for you?" he asked.

        I adjusted myself nervously in t;ell, sir, I ed to ask you something.”

        ared at me, studying me before ;Does it o do ; he asked.

        I took a deep breath.

        "Yes, sir. I ed to ask if it would be all rigook o dinner on New Years Eve.”

        ;Is t all?" he said.

        "Yes, sir," I said. "Ill bring ime youd need me to.”

        ook off acles and ting tell aking a moment to t it.

        "ill your parents be joining you?" he asked.

        "No, sir.”

        "t t    t."    t clear it ime for me to leave. I stood from my carted to to go, I faced him again.

        "Reverend Sullivan?”

        ill t;Im sorry for to do    alreat Jamie treated. But from no.”

        o l    enough.

        "I love ; I said finally, aion focused on me again.

        "I kno; ;but I dont    to see ." Even t , I t I saer.

        "I    do t to ; I said.

        urned from me and looked out tcer sun tried to force its    ter.

        "en," he wrong decision.

        I smiled ao t. I could tell t ed to be aloo see his fa his hands.

        I asked Jamie a t s t I told    Id already spoken to     o. t tell    it looked almost as t    t only didnt I uand it pletely, I didnt    o    alking to my mom again, sion, and to be , it made perfect seo me.    must o tion t er    o me. In a rue.

        I picked    on sc asked o ly erfront to taurant.    to tess stand, to our table. It ter ones in the place.

        It ime eenagers in t too out of place, though.

        Jamie o Flauvins before, and it took    a fees to take it all in. S a my mom    suggestion.

        "t; so me. "thank you for asking me.”

        "My pleasure," I said sincerely.

        "have you been here before?”

        "A feimes. My moto e imes won.”

        S tared at a boat t aurant, its lig s in ;Its beautiful ; she said.

        "So are you," I answered.

        Jamie blus;You do.”

        "Yes," I said quietly, "I do.”

        e ed for dinner, and Jamie and I talked about some of t    fealked about tted t place. S about it-s of laug off c s out on her own.

        "ould you    to take me again?" seased.

        "Absolutely.”

        Dinner er finally removed our plates, tarted up. e    before I o take her home, and I offered her my hand.

        At first c eac remioo. I could see tfully at us. ts    and kno time t it .

        I    could be.

        After     young couples did back time to time sired and listless. e spent time doossing stones in ter, calked, or    to t Ma.

        Eve    boter an o take imes, it seemed, s nod off before    imes sream of cter all t I could barely get a word in edgewise.

        Of course, spending time    doing t go to udy class-I didnt    to look like an idiot in front of    t t more at o leave early, because s fever. Even to my untrained eyes, it    her face was flushed.

        e kissed again, too, t every time oget even trying to make it to sed base. t ao. tle and rig    Jamie ood ire life, not only by me, but by everyone.

        Jamie    simply ters daug to een-year-old girl s t I    least, ts il sold me.

        Ill never fet t day because of    s sometant was on her mind.

        I ed up again, a day blustery ing er o stand close to eaco stay ed to go    Id asked    ime, I remember t t us. te    no one else    Cecils Diner. As al u on terfront in ter.

        S as    so tell me somet expect o start tion as she did.

        "People trange, dont t; she silence.

        "; I asked, even the answer.

        "People at school.”

        "No, t," I lied.

        I kissed tle tigo me. Sell t Id    her somehow.

        "Are you okay?" I asked, ed.

        "Im fine," s on track.

        "ill you do me a favor, though?”

        "Anyt; I said.

        "ill you promise to tell me truth from now on? I mean always?”

        "Sure," I said.

        Sopped me suddenly and looked rig me. "Are you lying to me right now?”

        "No," I said defensively,    from noell you truth.”

        Some, I kne Id e tret it.

        e started reet, I gla    belo it mig t I    even touchere.

        "People trange, dont t; she asked again.

        My breat in little puffs.

        "Yes," I finally ans    me to say it.

        "; S despo.

        I t about it. "People    reasons," I said vaguely, doing my best not to go any further.

        "But    because of my fat because I try to be o people?”

        I didnt    anyto do his.

        "I suppose,"    a little queasy.

        Jamie seemed disened, and tle farther in silence.

        "Do ye, too?" she asked me.

        t made me ac it    at opped o me. I kissed , s the ground.

        I put my finger being    me again. "Youre a iful, youre kind, yentle . . . youre everyt Id like to be. If people dont like you, e, ts their problem.”

        In ter day, I could see o tremble. Mine    my     I couldhe words inside any longer.

        "I love you, Jamie," I said to ;Youre t t ever o me.”

        It    time Id ever said to anote family.    to someone else, Id some it    . Id never been more sure of anything.

        As soon as I said tarted to cry, leaning o mine. I ime t my arms    all t o my e. I    sure o t t regret trutrut promised    I would never lie again.

        "Please dont say t," so me. "Please . . .”

        "But I do," I said, t believe me.

        So cry even ;Im sorry," so me t;Im so, so sorry. . . .”

        My t suddenly    dry.

        "; I asked, suddenly desperate to uand ;Is it because of my friends and    care anymore-I really dont." I was reag, fused and, yes-scared.

        It took anot for o st, and in time s me. Sly, almost like ty street, then ran her finger over my cheek.

        "You t be in love ; shrough red and swollen eyes.

        "e    be friends,    love me.”

        "?" I sed    uanding any of this.

        "Because," sly, "Im very sick, Landon.”

        t ely fn t I couldnt pre srying to say.

        "So ake a few days . . .”

        A sad smile crossed    t srying to tell me.    mine as s numbed my soul.

        "Im dying, Landon.”
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