off taipei on my o    expect to see anyone I kneo meet me, kno t it    t somebody else to e in tead, so I    surprised    ern clot;You are Mrs. Ric; he said in English.

        I ograpo tell a felloy to disbelieve a pliment altogetter ly untrue, I remembered t sedly ;No, I am sorry," I said, and o searcher passengers.

        It struck me as a little odd t Mrs. Nixon so Formosa, even if everybody is visiting t just no her.

        "Did you knooday?" I asked my friends Mr. And Mrs. ed up after all.

        "No,    took me for    a joke t ;Um,"    embarrassedly, "t to meet Ameri dignitaries.    quite sane."

        I laug under Formosas ful yearning for tside icularly America, its only friend and therefore in some ways a foe.

        " feel to be back?" Mr.    t Formosa is Cry of all d it really range one I left ten years ago us but t and t    different from hong Kong. A feeling of ological fusion came over me.

        "It feels like dreaming." And taking in all tones of ;But its not possible!" Mr. C;But ys."

        Mrs. e as    t, "ty, but te you get out of to is beautiful."

        tain inn. I got te,    to teps ae tle courtyards, s ous pond. In t tap of sulper stantly running out of a stone lion mout tank. ttan furniture on tatami fl and a ained ss. I told myself not to be fastidious. But to get up near dao sleep on t vase and picture scroll are displayed. tened w find me.

        It    t aing audie    door to t    and fu founder of t. Surely it ;enanly a foot a; as o describe an audience er I left taipei for tryside, I realized t prostitution oisements of type appeared in one day: "Joy and itutes Domicile, 1st class. 124 Sty girls like clouds,    t services."

        In tryside Formosa peels back, srata. tive Formosans tions of my s gave o pure tourist enthusiasm.

        From time to time Mrs. g o me in t to me in tly, "s; I just caugain dtle attooed    outside a s;S; Again ttle cry and a nudge. I sas, carrying smaller c;to to; Mrs. Chu said.

        "O;

        "Very ;

        Many of talked Japalers, and a surprising number of till spoke Japaopped at o be t off. tor follo;C; I could make out t sing: "Mistake! Mistake!" t off to     tealing rides. I t reetcar ductor folloo treet and grad ie, in place of tail    t t    a scuffle and exc year a bus ductor aken to tation on t icket puncool ductor s tling to remind people to buy tickets. But ts like this.

        Finally tor let t on    panting and dusting ood at attention in orn k and saluted t passed.    look old enougo    t reverenctly Japanese. Oddly enoug also reminded me of t Cers, sform, eag    like arms as train pulled out. orkers old to love t to s to it in ttle ritual seemed strange.

        From Formosa I    on to    seen for six years. ty orn do into ment buildings. reets box buried up to its neck, still funing. ttled do tion speak tonese in sco speak anyt    to talk to ts t oteenagers may envy.

        to-do ting increasingly Ameriized, oo expensive a-model refrigerators and    on tallment plan. Cmas    occasion fifts and parties for non-s too. Boys and girls mas cards io a : "I am een years old. My fatry    difficulty. e made t stretacao in a small boat    al in Macao. I came to    me a job paying about y Ameri dollars], just enougo keep alive a a bunk. I am t Cmas in all ell me if I s;

        Side by side    of o be needless and fool-raffic ees going back for visits. "eve gro; my landlady told me ole laugo take in a lodger. S bots of parents and ots noodles, pop rice, preserved meats and    oil, and soap eacisteatically: "t; ter and drank as a tonic. ionalist spy, is still able to e ionalist spy, is still able to e er is doctor assigo ry. "So go out on sick calls at nigs pitc; s as sers monopolizing t;You know ;

        I o see a great pag. tive going back-a led cewed pork.

        "t too," she said.

        "o carry a pot of steo S;

        "It rain is a refrigerator."

        S up at dao see to go aloo    tions at t day s    e back."

        "But w ;

        "o begioo many t, too -ses of salted fisons of s. Clots and pans, enougo furnisoms man y, ty ts of Jen Ming Piao s last time and fot to get rid of. Youre not supposed to take unist money in, so all    do you mean by turned on me noo roar out t;A; and ";. "Ai-ya-I said I k came to see    all time I o deat; So a ogs sewn inside ;

        "to sell?" I asked.

        "No, just to give as presents; ;

        "But ; And .

        "Not full-lengt; tured t everybody somets movies made in    does s so mud no c;

        I remembered ing out ten years ago,    stretcs rougood ing after taken our papers ao be studied. took a long time over it. It all tonese rous dark glasses, looked cool and arrogant as s, smartly belted and creased. Beside us stood t sentry, a round-cry boy in rumpled baggy uniform. After an    sun ttered angrily, speaking for t time, "t . Go stand in t;    tctle distance back. But none of us     smiled sligo to be left out. Still, for a moment I felt t time.

        t fateful bridge en been pared to t clic is true    makes me impatient to erners quibble about t being really free. too bad t many of us o go back over t make a living outside.

        I     of college, joined    did not like it t ba 1952, just o leave. ook o uold one evening and I    along. ueller said. But t be trouble.    go to prison. tion sounded reaso time,    on against businessmen and many suicides and arrests. tueller looked like a sant in ely avoided o uold.

        My cousin got a small job in Peking as predicted. Life s to     boy, sloo make up en years later o get out again.    for permit to leave, ties seized on t t ionalist group in college. eo t in ision, unity to searcs, even servants to stand in line for tions. But tly sidered enoug.

        I    my moters, t. tayed in because tor and tionalist official, co stay. One of ters had died.

        "So did my brot; said my cousin in ;And boter losing everytc earn enoug;

        Looking back, I sao o land, to ter able te aral admonitions, in time of course all ts tried t otments for better and quicker profits. Many soon found t clever enougo t doions-and gres merely ehe end.

        No one I knoonese ama back to so t is still t off,    of it. age, t in a bit of cooking oil and salted fish of her own use.

        y day visit, to buy a large quantity of rid small quantities of cooking oil and pork as a special favor. t tasted meat all year. So    ed fis ten days t a little girl gathered for her from a pond.

        ty dining o get t    , served t he food was cold, of course.

        Everyday at four in t a gong to summon everybody to t at nine. ork at ten. Lunc t one. Supper at six. ain at seven. But not in time-usually it    at ten at nigimes "leap for; to te t;Let t." ages varied from a dollar someto fifty or sixty ts Jen Ming Piao a mont no herbs are scarce.

        e C our best ry ing. Its o rise above ourselves. After ty turies of rule by ty years, and it    been a pleasant time for many of us, full of flicts and self-doubts. Noate aken to every moment and aspect of life s familiar persuasive pressure. turo t-up to a point.

        times as big as a ing torboats    t stay put and figrouble    oo sensible. Sixty to    May. t at smaller numbers evidently oo big, t er t not abaalk noon.

        Advaeps, retreats a step-Mao tse-tung o outlive tormentors.

        (1963)
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