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首页A Portrait of the Artist as a Young ManChapter 3

Chapter 3

        t December dusk umbling clos dull day and, as ared t s food. eurnips and carrots and bruised potatoes and fat mutton pieces to be ladled out in ttened sauce. Stuff it into you, his belly selled him.

        It    niger early nig up, er of treets, cirg alremor of fear and joy, until    led    ing out of t, yaer ttling ters of ing for a sudden movement of o    perfumed fles as    of t call, ultified only by e keenly all t able or a pograpanding to attentiaudy playbill; ing:

        -- ie, any good in your mind?

        -- Is t you, pigeon?

        -- en. Fresing on you.

        -- Good nigo    time?

        tion on to spread out a ail, eyed and starred like a peacocks; and, s indices ed, began sloo fold itself togetars being born and being quenc cycle of starry life bore o its verge and ino its tre, a distant music apanying    upon tars began to crumble and a cloud of fiardust fell through space.

        t fell more faintly upon tion began to unfold itself sloo spread abroad its ail. It self sin by sin, spreading abroad ts burning stars and folding back upon itself, fading slowly, quencs own lighe cold darkness filled chaos.

        A cold lucid indifference reigned in     violent sin    a ality pass out of o fial    of    receded: and no part of body or soul    a dark peace ablisinguisself    kno o many times and , ernal damnation for t sin alone, by every succeeding sin iplied    and . s could make no ato for ains of sanctifying grace o refres most, by an alms given to a beggar ion    did it avail to pray er its oru? A certain pride, a certain ao God even one prayer at nig o take ao be atoned for in he All-seeing and All-knowing.

        -- ell noo say t you are not able to tell me w a surd is?

        tirred tempt of o ood bareside t at ty aar t. ooped to tical of their innoce which he could cajole so easily.

        On ted scroll, tificate of ure in ty of turday ms    in to recite ttle office    t of tar from    pain    moments    an impulse to rise from    of o leave t trained ive: spikenard and myrre-flo and late-blossoming tree, symbolizing tus among men.    fell to o read to in a veiled voice, lulling o its music.

        Quasi cedrus exaltata sum in Liba quasi cupressus in monte Sion. Quasi palma exaltata sum in Gades et quasi plantatio rosae in Jeric quasi plataata sum juxta aquam in plateis. Sicut amomum et balsamum aromatizans odorem dedi et quasi myrra dedi suavitatem odoris.

        of God, o tard y; range ligly upoo cast sin from o repent t moved o be . If ever eri    itself, urowards ar, brigelling of    was wly by lips will lingered foul and sself of a lewd kiss.

        t range. ried to t could be. But ts. ter marked ts to be done for t lesson and    out. epo unelessly.

        My excellent friend Bombados.

        Ennis, he yard, came back, saying:

        -- tor.

        A tall boy beephen rubbed his hands and said:

        -- ts game ball. e    scut t be in till after ions on techism, Dedalus.

        Stepeo talk about ime to time by saying:

        -- S up,    make suc!

        It raoo t o trines of trating into obscure silences only to ion. tence of saint James    bees guilty of all, o    a sate. From t all otempt of otousness In using money for t read calumnious murmuring against ttonous enjoyment of food, tual and bodily sloth in which his whole being had sunk.

        As    in    tors sself in and out of tions proposed to it. If a man olen a pound in    pound to amass a une o give back, tolen only eterest acg upon it or all une? If a layman in giving baptism pour ter before saying tized? Is baptism er valid?    t itude promises to t titude promises also to t t of t instituted u body and blood, soul and divinity, in tiny particle of ted bread tain all t or a part only of to vinegar and t crumble into corruption after ted, is Jesus C still present uheir species as God and as man?

        -- here he is! here he is!

        A boy from    at tor e from tec upon tly. tor entered and took    on tle kick from tall boy in tepo ask a difficult question.

        tor did not ask for a cateco he desk and said:

        -- treat ernoon in    Francis Xavier urday. treat o Friday. On Friday fession er beads. If any boys    ter for t to curday m at nine oclod general union for turday    Saturday and Sunday being free days some boys migo t Monday is a free day also. Be mistake. I to make t mistake.

        -- I sir? hy, sir?

        A little    mirtrim smile. Step began sloo fold and fade hering flower.

        tor    on gravely:

        -- You are all familiar ory of t Francis Xavier, I suppose, tron of your college. rious Spanis    follo Ignatius. t in Paris y. t nobleman and man of letters entered    and soul into t     by saint Ignatius to preaco tle of t from try to try in t, from Africa to India, from India to Japan, baptizing to ized as many as ten ters in one mont is said t    arm eized. o go to Co ill more souls fod but    saint, saint Francis Xavier! A great soldier of God!

        tor paused and t on:

        --    moves mountains. ten t is a true queror, true to tto of our order: ad majorem Dei gloriam! A saint ercede for us in rief; poo obtain    be for to obtain for us to repent if    saint, saint Francis Xavier! A great fisher of souls!

        o sing t    a of t eners out of ern eyes.

        In to a taep    t feels the simoom ing from afar.

        ________________________________________

        -- Remember only t t not sin for ever - aken, my dear little brot, from tes, seventer, fortiet. Amen.

        Step in t benc at a table to t of tar.    er, sely rearisen, brougo Step goctle cemetery off t on to him, became again a childs soul.

        -- e are assembled oday, my dear little brot, for one brief moment far ale of ter o celebrate and to est of saints, tle of tron saint also of your college, saint Francis Xavier. Year after year, for muctle boys,    remember or t in to make treat before t day of tron saint. time     its c fe remember? Many of t in t bent lands, in tropimersed in professional duties or in seminaries, or voyaging over t expanse of t may be, already called by t God to anoto te saint is reat on t day set apart by our o transmit to all test sons of catholic Spain.

        --    and    salutary practice for all ruly    life? A retreat, my dear boys, signifies a o examie of our sce, to refle teries of o uaer o put before you some ts ing t tec, ry to uand t anding of ting be to our souls. And remember, my dear boys, t o to do Gods o save our immortal souls. All else is ion of ones soul.    dot profit a man to gain tal soul? A make up for such a loss.

        -- I o put as, ion, and to give all your attention to tate of your souls. I need    during treat all boys are expected to preserve a quiet and pious demeanour and to s tom is not infringed and I look especially to ts and officers of ty of Our Blessed Lady and of ty of to set a good example to tudents.

        -- Let us try, to make treat in    Francis    and our , above and beyond all, let treat be oo o    foundation of a pious ian life. And if, as may so    t in tterable misfortuo lose Gods o fall into grievous sin, I fervently trust and pray t treat may be turning point in t soul. I pray to God ts of    Francis Xavier, t suco sincere repentand t t Franciss day of ting a soul. For just and unjust, for saint and sinner alike, may treat be a memorable one.

        -- tle brot. tention, by your oion, by your out t, es, s sin for ever.    t and t, if    o o e, in t end - a blessing, my dear boys, . Amen!

        As    panions, a to pass ed in stupor of mind till it s and reveal    e ite and es lay abandoned on table,    to tongue and lig it from o tate of a beast t licks er meat. t glimmer of fear began to pierce t t into treet. Forms passed t t. And t ters of teening and gealing into a gross grease, plunging ever deeper in its dull fear into a sombre tening dusk less and dis of darkened eyes, urbed, and o stare upon.

        t day broug, stirring s listless despair. t glimmer of fear became a terror of spirit as to s agony.    toucremities and creep ono, t tres of tinguis s oozing upon t tly and more faintly, all but vanquis, sobbing and sigtling in t. No o . Nail it doo a    out of t it out of mens sigo a long o to rot, to feed ts creeping o be devoured by scuttling plump-bellied rats.

        And anding in tears by t t moment of scious ime to reflect, tood terrified before t seat. God, , pleading    time to repent, sparing it yet a time ime o sin and to enjoy, time o scoff at God and at time o defy y, to disobey o o it sin after sin and to ion from t of men. But t time    urn: and    to be s lurking place, t rebellious against t degrading to our poor corrupt nature, ti imperfe and t rocity.    did it avail to    emperor, a great general, a marvellous ior, t learned of t seat of God. ant ant after ticular judgement o to tory or o hell.

        Nor    all. Gods justice ill to be vindicated before men: after ticular till remai. t day    ars of    by tree    , appeared glorious and terrible against t on t on trumpet time. ts of time is, time    time s t blast ty to, ricle and simple,    be born, all ters of Adam, all are assembled on t supreme day. And lo, t poy, attended by nine cies, poues, tions, t, God Everlasting.    t limits of space, even In ttomless abyss. Supreme Judge, from eo er into ternity of bliss prepared for t s from y: Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire orn apart from friend,    from ts,    o to o ty pero tried to lead    pato a kind broto a loving sister, to t it is too late: t turn acer. O you es, O, you o t fare    terrible day?

        And t e: t. It is appointed unto man to die and after deat. Deatain. time and manner are uain, : t an tle expect , seeing t you may die at any moment. Deat, brougo t parents, are tals t close our earteals t open into tals t pass, alone, unaided save by its good    friend or brot or master to , alone and trembling. Let t t be ever before our minds and t sierror to t for    paties of ation in life, attending to    frequently and perf good and merciful    maerror. as it not Addison, t Engliser, o let ian    meet    is and ian, w:

        O grave, wory?

        O deating?

        Every    o    n in si. Gods turn    in its lair s o ts of trumpet o t. ttered in an instant uous peace. t day bles of ion, fled before terror and huddled under a mane of hair.

        As    lauge    more strongly trumpet blast, and, not daring to lift urned aside and gazed, as o taen    and flooded . If so    orn and trampled upon    boyis c poetry? tails of ank under rils. t-coated packet of pictures ures and by s ters ten in ty fession and carried secretly for days and days only to t among t e upon tly. Mad! Mad! as it possible    broke out upon hin his brain.

        ried to raise s abject pooo far from oo great and stern and too pure and     ood near Emma in a    and kissed the elbow of her sleeve.

        In tender lucid evening sky, a cloud drifting oget y t     offended y is not like earty, dangerous to look upon, but like tar o ts:

        -- take ep is a beautiful evening no loves anot. take ogetogets will love eacher.

        t lig filtered t blind and t of oucicks upon tar t gleamed like ttle-worn mail armour of angels.

        Rain    er ain tops. All life ter of ty days and forty nigill ters covered th.

        It mig?

        -- s soul and opes mout any limits - aken, my dear little brot Jesus, from ter, fourteent. Amen.

        took a e and, s dial for a moment in silence, placed it silently before able.

        o speak in a quiet tone.

        -- Adam and Eve, my dear boys,    parents, and you    ted by God in order t ts in    vat by t be filled again. Lucifer, old,    and mig    of t of o     say. t it    ceived in an instant: non serviam: I    serve. t instant was his ruin.

        y of God by t of one instant and God cast    of o hell for ever.

        -- Adam and Eve ed by God and placed in Eden, in t lovely garden resple    and colour, teeming    vegetation. tful earty: beasts and birds s: t to, disease and poverty a a great and generous God could do for t tion imposed on to    to eat of t of tree.

        -- Alas, my dear little boys, too fell. t, tlest of all ts of t one, could not bear to t man, a being of clay, sance o    promise! - t if se of t to tempter. Se t also to Adam o resist ongue of Satan s hey fell.

        -- And t garden, calling ure man to at: and Mic, y pair and drove to triving, of cruelty and disappoi, of labour and o earn t of t even took pity on our praded parents and promised t in time o t O Redeemer of fallen man, o be Gods only begotten Son, t Blessed trinity, ternal ord.

        -- er for ty years until t forto men to he new gospel.

        -- Did teened but     as a fool, set aside to give place to a public robber, sced led treets by tripped of s and    and er and blood issued tinually.

        -- Yet even t y for mankind. Yet even t es of    prevail.    upon t s and sacrifice, and promised t if men ill enter iernal life; but if, after all t ill persisted iy of torment: hell.

        tant, parted then he resumed:

        -- No us try for a moment to realize, as far as ure of t abode of tice of an offended God o existence for ternal punis of sinners. rait and dark and foul-smelling prison, an abode of demons and lost souls, filled raitness of to puniso be bound by ive    least some liberty of movement,    only    so in    number of togeto be four tterly bound and , as a blessed saint, saint Anselm, es i even able to remove from t gna.

        -- terior darkness. For, remember, t. As, at t its    but not its lig tainiy of its , burernally in darkness. It is a never ending storm of darkness, dark flames and dark smoke of burning brimstone, amid ten one plague alo of darkness, o to last not for t for all eternity?

        -- trait and dark prison is increased by its aencold, so a vast reeking seion of t day ooo, y fills all s intolerable steial odour t, as saint Boure says, one of to i pure element, bees foul and u    must be trid corpse t ting and deposing in tion. Imagine suco flames, devoured by tone and giving off dense . And tenciplied a millionfold and a millionfold again from tid carcasses massed togetting ench of hell.

        -- But tenc,    is, test porment to orment of fire is test torment to    ed ures. Place your finger for a moment in t our earted by God for t of man, to maintain in o s, ed by God to torture and punisant sinner. Our eart tacks is more or less bustible, so t y ing s to crate its a. But tone roys at time as it burns, so t te is ter is its duration; but ty, t it preserves t    rages ensity, it rages for ever.

        -- Our eartter    may be, is aled extent; but ttomless. It is on record t tion by a certain soldier, o fess t if a o t ant like a piece of errible fire    afflict t, but eac soul self, ts very vitals. O, errible is t of t t gloing, t mass of burning pulp, tender eyes flaming like molten balls.

        -- A rengty and boundlessness of to its iy, an iy    c of soul and body alike. It is a fire    of its oivity but as an instrument of Divine vengeance. As ters of baptism se t torture t ortured and every faculty of trable utter darkness, tions, taste ter, leprous corruption, nameless suffog filtouc goads and spikes, ongues of flame. And torments of tal soul is tortured eternally in its very essence amid ty of tent God and fanned into everlasting and ever-increasing fury by the God-head.

        -- sider finally t torment of t ts, as if by instinct, soever is deadly or ful to turned - t of family or try, of ties, of relations one anotorture and rage intensified by tortured and raging like ty is fotte ers of t abyss. t God and of red for t times it om to punis ing o t. tention of times, o punisful and eful beasts. But s pared ion s of tted t seeds of evil t suggestioo sied and allured tue. turn upon t t is too late noance.

        -- Last of all sider tful torment to tempters aed alike, of t t Catten t, ratant on sucful monster, so il track of red coals. tiful angels, iful. t t souls    is to temptings of friends? urn aside from your pious practices and good    evil panion?    give up t le impure ?    listen to t, even after you    or time, repent of your evil urn to God ao absolve you of your sins? Noime for repentance ime is, time    time sime o sin in secrecy, to indulge in t sloto covet to yield to tings of your loure, to live like ts of ts of t least, are but brutes and o guide time    time so you by so many voices, but you     crus t pride and anger in your , you    restore tten goods, you    obey ts of your tend to yious duties, you    abandon t avoid temptations. Suentors, aunting and of reproacred and of disgust. Of disgust, yes! For even tible ures, a rebellion of tellect: and t turn aed and disgusted, from templation es and defiles temple of t, defiles and pollutes himself.

        -- O, my dear little brot, may it never be our lot to    language! May it never be our lot, I say! In t day of terrible reing I pray fervently to God t not a single soul of today may be found among t Judge so depart for ever from , t not one of us may ever ence of reje: Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire whe devil and his angels!

        rembling as t oucly fingers. aircase and into ts and erproofs ed malefactors,    every step        hrough space.

        grip t and sat     random and p over it. Every rue. God    ime to be scious of t? Yes? oget felt tongues of flames, dried up as it felt about it tifling air.    t. Again a e of t forth from his skull like a corolla, shrieking like voices:

        -- hell! hell! hell! hell! hell!

        Voices spoke near him:

        -- On hell.

        -- I suppose    into you well.

        -- You bet    us all into a blue funk.

        -- tS : and plenty of it to make you work.

        died. God ill. ill in tate and Vi ood at talking, jesting, gazing out at their heads.

        -- I    by Mala t be knee-deep.

        -- It might clear up, sir.

        t    of tly brotle as tranquilly, lulled his ag soul.

        till time. O Mary, refuge of sinners, intercede for h!

        tory. Royal persons, favourites, intriguers, bise poms be did it profit a man to gain t    last ood: and -like men laboured in brot mounds. touc ousion of er ude of y and trition.

        o deptrite peao longer able to suffer t prayer. Aill be spared;    in    and be fiven; and t o make up for t: a w.

        -- All, God! All, all!

        A messenger came to to say t fessions remulous er ttle , listening and suffering silently, o    t, feeling it close and quail, listening to tter of its ventricles.

        No escape. o fess, to speak out in er sin. how? how?

        -- Father, I.

        t slid like a cold so ender fles not t, sincerely; but not t    God    to be offended    dare to fess in tter abje of spirit ely of ts about him.

        time passed.

        again in t benc     fell slo seemed t t day    all souls .

        -- I am cast a of taken, my dear little brot, from tieter, ty-t. Amen.

        to speak in a quiet friendly tone. ly tips.

        -- tion upon o make ion of place. e endeavoured, t is, to imagine ion, terial cer of t aorments ure of tual torments of hell.

        -- Sin, remember, is a ty. It is a base sent to tings of our corrupt nature to tincts, to t    is also a turning aure, from all t is pure and al sin is punis forms of punis, pual.

        Noual pains by far test is t, in fact, t in itself it is a torment greater t test doctor of tor, as    t damnation sists in t tanding of man is totally deprived of divine ligion obstiurned aely good, and t be a loss infinitely painful. In t a very clear idea of    ter torment, anding of t and t t it t it for ever. At tant of deat once flies toore of ence. Remember, my dear little boys, our souls long to be o God:     of our brain, every instant of life proceeds from Gods inexible goodness. And if it be pain for a moto be parted from o be exiled from o be sundered from friend, O t pain,    be for to be spurned from tor    soul ience from notai in life and loved it o be separated for ever from its greatest good, from God, and to feel t separation, kno it is uorment he pain of loss.

        t t as in dead bodies refa, so in t tual remorse from trefa of sin, ting of sce, t t, of triple sting. t sting inflicted by t pleasures. O    be! In t, t s of researcistic pleasures ures and ot treasures, ed in table s, ten erous ted. to to suffer in o t t tal, for vain s, for a tingling of t indeed: and ting of te and fruitless sorroted. Divine justisists t tanding of tually on ty, and moreover, as saint Augustine points out, God    to t sin o ts    appears to t but it oo late a and deepest and most cruel sting of time and opportunity to repent and . You o aid you. You er of God to preaco you, to call you back ive you your sins, no matter ed. No. You . You flouted ters of urned your ba to you, tened you, eed you to return to    s misery! treated you, a creature of clay, to love o keep . And noo flood all ears if you could still    sea of repentance    gain for you ear of true repentance sal life o repent: In vain. t time is gone: gone for ever.

        -- Sug of sce, ts core of tc filled    to sucempted ternity and even revile and curse tieed but id po evade.

        -- t spiritual pain to ension. Man, in t capable of t once, inasmud teracts anot as one poison frequently corrects anotrary, oorment, instead of terag anot still greater force: and, moreover, as ternal faculties are more perfect ternal senses, so are t as every sense is afflicted ting torment, so is every spiritual faculty; tive faculty ernate longing and rage, tanding erior darkness more terrible even terior darkness ent t be, less duration, a frigate od bears to it.

        -- Opposed to tension a coexistent    y. re of evils and, as you knoe tres t test points. traries or admixtures of any kind to temper or soften in t t to ted, inual torment: kno, ed , so muced by all creatures from tion doo t plant in t, ensely. In t very long or not very great because nature eits or puts ao t. But in orments ot be overe by , for ensity t time of tinual variety, eaco speak, taking fire from anot ill fiercer flame. Nor ature escape from tense and various tortures by succumbing to tained and maintained in evil so t its suffering may be ter. Boundless extension of torment, incredible iy of suffering, unceasing variety of torture - t ty, so ed by sinners, demands; t ted a aside for tful and lo fles t Lamb of God, sion of sinners, trampled upon by t of ts upon.

        -- Last and croorture of all tortures of t aernity of ernity! O, dread and dire ernity!    mind of man    uand it? And remember, it is ay of pain. Even t so terrible as t te, as tio last for ever. But    time, as you knoolerably intense, unbearably exteo bear even ting of an i for all eternity orment.    must it be, to bear tortures of ernity! Not for a year or for a for ever. try to imagies tiny grains! And iny little grains go to make up ts play. Noain of t sand, a million miles o t ending to remotest space, and a million miles in tless particles of sand multiplied as often as t, drops of er in ty o, featoms in t expanse of t at ttle bird came to t mountain and carried as beak a tiny grain of t sand. uries    bird    of t mountain,     at t immeretcime not even one instant of eternity could be said to    trillions of years eternity ain rose again after it    all a so rose and sank as many times as tars in toms in ter in trees, feat t immeasurably vast mountain not one single instant of eternity could be said to    ter t eon of time t of y would scarcely have begun.

        -- A    (one of our o o    ood in t of a great    save for tig of a great clock. tig    on unceasingly; and it seemed to t t tig ition of to be in o be in o be s off from to enjoy tific vision; ever to be eaten o be free from to o escape; ever to curse and revile t fiendiso be of ts; ever to cry out of to God for an instant, a single instant, of respite from suco receive, even for an instant, Gods pardon; ever to suffer, o enjoy; ever to be damned, o be saved; ever, never; ever, never. O, ernity of endless agony, of endless bodily and spiritual torment,    one ray of    one moment of cessation, of agony limitless in iy, of torment infinitely varied, of torture t sustaiernally t ernally devours, of anguis everlastingly preys upoy, every instant of ernity of al sin by an almig God.

        -- Yes, a just God! Men, reasoning alonis God se out an everlasting and infinite punis in tanding, to preal sin. to pre even venial sin is of sucure t even if tent Creator could end all tion t o pass unpunis of    omnipotent God could not do so because si in t or deed, is a transgression of    be God if    punisransgressor.

        -- A sin, an instant of rebellious pride of tellect, made Lucifer and a t of t of angels fall from tant of folly and    of Eden and brougo to retrieve t sin tten Son of God came doo eart painful deathe cross.

        -- O, my dear little bret Jesus,    good Redeemer and provoke rample again upon t torn and mangled corpse? ill    upon t face so full of sorrooo, like tal soldiers, mock t gentle and passionate Saviour rod alone for our sake tender side. Every sinful act is a t, deliberately yielded to, is a keen laransfixing t sacred and loving . No, no. It is impossible for any o do t    y of agony, t whe Son of God and makes a mockery of him.

        -- I pray to God t my poor o firm in ate of grace, tto lead back to tate of grace t rayed if any suco God, and do you pray     of our sins. I o repeat after me t of trition, kneeling abernacle burning o fort ted. Be not afraid. No matter    of t no    ternal deat rat ed and live.

        -- o    of noto receive you even t o able time. Nohe hour.

        t rose and, turning toar, k upon tep before tabernacle iill all in t and every least noise ill. ted t of trition, pepongue cleaving to e, bowed .

        -- O my God! --

        -- O my God! --

        -- I am ily sorry --

        -- I am ily sorry --

        -- for hee --

        -- for hee --

        -- and I detest my sins --

        -- and I detest my sins --

        -- above every other evil --

        -- above every other evil --

        -- because thee, my God --

        -- because thee, my God --

        --    so deserving --

        --    so deserving --

        -- of all my love --

        -- of all my love --

        -- and I firmly purpose --

        -- and I firmly purpose --

        -- by thy holy grace --

        -- by thy holy grace --

        -- never more to offend thee --

        -- never more to offend thee --

        -- and to amend my life --

        -- and to amend my life --

        up to er dinner in order to be alone    every step o sig every step ed , sig, through a region of viscid gloom.

        ed on ted in fear, ly t deat not touc t in darkness mig be given poill at t trao some dark cave. Faces ed and ched.

        -- e knely    t o e to t y in endeav to try to iry to endeavour to ascertain tual plenipotentiary and so ly well--

        Murmuring faces ed and sely in spirit and in fles, raising rode into told    tely no sense old    it was simply he door open.

        ly to t beside it and covered    and g s. o be alone o examine o meet o face, to recall times and manners and circumstao    o    only an ading, flesh, benumbed and weary.

        t o scatter s and over-cloud    tes of ted flesimidly tive o ts closely about        o be called Gods child.

        Could it be t eply, filtime after time, and, ence, o aberself    God    struck    rove tet t of prayer, oget t be bound and, t fast, ig to ill rain of il tant and then opened. he saw.

        A field of stiff les and tufted le-buncufts of rank stiff groered isters and clots and coils of solid excrement. A faint mars struggling upling grey-green    and foul as t, curled upers and from tale crusted dung.

        Creatures ures isures ly bearded and grey as india-rubber. ttered in trailing tails beus of cruel malignity lit up greyly t orn flannel coat, anotonously as u tufted    language issued from ttleless lips as tails amid ttling isters. to enclose, to enclose, soft language issuing from tails besmeared ale se, ting uperrific faces

        help!

        s from o free    inking, bestial, malignant, a ish fiends. For him! For him!

        , clogging aing rails. Air! tumbled to fainting    tand a vulsion seized ed profusely in agony.

        itself o ting t in a er of t to point of ligy     co of yelloly luminous and t to breat drend quiet fragrance    .

        he prayed:

        --    to e o    safely visit us but y and a bedimmed radiance for    in poure in ead, ures eliness and lustre suited to our state. And noo us of ternal not like earty, dangerous to look upon, but like tar y, telling of    of till as t led. In t, across to our lord Jesus, guide us home.

        ears and, looking o    for t.

        t touc closed beears. fess! fess! It    enougo lull tear and a prayer. o kneel before ter of t and tell over ruly aantly. Before board of trail over t opeo let able in tc for supper    and fessed. It e simple.

        tly treets. tones on tpat street and so many streets in t City and so many cities iernity al sin. Even once al sin. It could ant. But     to see. tant it    does t part of tand or , t subtle beast of t must uand ant and ts oant after instant, sinfully. It feels and uands and desires.    a    to be like t, a bestial part of to uaially and desire bestially? as t t t of a torpid snaky life feeding itself out of tender marroening upon t. O w so? O why?

        , abasing ? And, co, ely to o drive a was wo his brain.

        t    and o fess every sin. ter in o t . Or    dying of s so be free and sinless again! Per would know. O dear God!

        streets, fearing to stand still for a mome it mig    aed o arrive at t tourned iful must be a soul in tate of grace h love!

        Fro along tones before ts. trailed over t beautiful to see as t tate of grace t to see: and God loved them.

        A ing breation bleo feel t to God to tars noained and failing, merged in a moving breat; a tiny soul:    flickered ond    out, fotten, lost. te.

        sciousness of place came ebbing back to    tract of time unlit, u, uself around s, ts in ts and    sa, moving men and    to cross treet, an oil in    down and asked here a chapel near.

        -- A creet chapel.

        -- Church?

        Sed to ed     s fringe of s loowards hed by her voice.

        -- thank you.

        -- You are quite wele, sir.

        tar inguis till floated do tan aiding t gestures and ill lingered praying before one of tars or kneeling in timidly and k at t benc s    near oo y and er, cutting boards and planing t spoken of to poor fiseaco be meek and .

        be meek and     be like t beside able as t it rust of terious o ers, trade, rees, mending ts ience.

        A tall figure came doents stirred; and at t moment, glang up sly,    of a caputered tents rose aered t eit murmur of a voice troubled the silence.

        o murmur in y summoned from its sleep to s doom. Little flakes of fire fell and poroubled by ted air.

        t back. tent emerged from tered quietly aly ent . t murmur began again.

        ill leave tand up, put one foot before t softly and tly treets. ill escape from t been any terrible crime but t one sin!    been murder! Little fiery flakes fell and touc all points, ss, ss. Sinually. to say it in words! ifling and o be.

        t back. A pe emerged from teered    . A soft s out of t     whispering vapour, whispering and vanishing.

        ly under cover of t.    one hem all.

        It o be good. Gods yoke    and lig ter o o tle e to    errible and a sad to sin. But God o poor sinners     was indeed goodness.

        t to suddenly. tent came out. . ood up in terror and o the box.

        At last it    in t gloom and raised o te crucifix suspended above    ell all    a si rue. But God ive oe form, praying rembling body, s creature, praying h whimpering lips.

        -- Sorry! Sorry! O sorry!

        t bounded in . t    ting, averted from    to bless ed teor in frig t grievous fault hless.

        --    since your last fession, my child?

        -- A long time, father.

        -- A month, my child?

        -- Longer, father.

        -- ths, my child?

        -- Longer, father.

        -- Six months?

        -- Eigher.

        asked:

        -- And    time?

        o fess    said, lies.

        -- Anything else, my child?

        Sins of anger, envy of ottony, vanity, disobedience.

        -- Anything else, my child?

        there was no help. he murmured:

        -- Iitted sins of impurity, father.

        t did not turn his head.

        -- ith yourself, my child?

        -- Andhers.

        -- ith women, my child?

        -- Yes, father.

        -- ere they married women, my child?

        knoream of vice. t sins oozed forto tell. he bowed his head, overe.

        t . then he asked:

        -- how old are you, my child?

        -- Sixteen, father.

        t passed imes     oing and, ill averted, spoke slowly. his voice was weary and old.

        -- You are very young, my c me implore of you to give up t sin. It is a terrible sin. It kills t kills t is tunes. Give it up, my c is dis knoc    you. As long as you it t sin, my poor co God. Pray to our moto o Our Blessed Lady o your mind. I am sure you , ? You repent of all t by     solemn promise to God, ?

        -- Yes, father.

        t rain upon .    and sad!

        -- Do so my poor cray. Drive o empts you to dis     you    sin, t cched sin.

        Blinded by ears and by t of Gods mercifulness    ion spoken and sas oken of fiveness.

        -- God bless you, my child. Pray for me.

        to say o    like perfume streaming upwards from a    of we rose.

        treets were gay. rode    e of all . he had fessed and God had pardoned him. his soul was made fair and holy once more, holy and happy.

        It iful to die if God so    iful to live in grace a life of pead virtue and forbearance hers.

        by tc daring to speak for ill t moment    kno doender se of sausages and    ie pudding and eggs and sausages and cups of tea. iful er all! And life lay all before him.

        In a dream    it    m tohe college.

        t among tar    te flo as his own soul.

        before tar es, ar bling and rembled as    pass    to unit.

        -- Corpus Domini nostri.

        Could it be?    timid; and o and God er his purified body.

        -- In vitam eternam. Amen.

        Anotue and    rue. It    a dream from .

        -- Corpus Domini nostri.

        the    had e
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